As humanity evolves and ascends into a higher vibration, relationships are changing too. The expansion of consciousness brings with it a broader understanding of the different ways we relate to and connect with each other. As we move into the 4th and 5th dimensions, the old paradigm relationships of the 3D consciousness are crumbling, causing many to question these inherited symbolic systems. Also being redefined during this time of rapid spiritual evolution is the old stereotypical concept of marriage.
Marriage today has become a contract, an institution of society, and the couple a property of that society. Not so long ago, people were still marrying each other in order to ensure their physical survival or to obtain an heir and a spare to carry on the family name. Nowadays, in many places around the globe, such is no longer necessary. Although people still marry for external reasons (money, family, social status etc.), many now enter into marriage in order to pursue emotional fulfillment and spiritual growth. If marriage is the ideal platform for this then why do so many marriages fail? The thing is, spiritual growth can make us incompatible with someone we used to be in harmony with. Since spiritual growth is accelerating and humanity awakening, more and more people are working through their karmic lessons and “outgrowing” their marriages faster than ever before. As such, marriage as it exists today here on Earth is not meant to last forever – but only until the full potential for growth has been reached which often isn’t “until death do us part”.
Underlying the disintegration of marriage is the spiritual amnesia we all suffer from to varying degrees. Humanity has forgotten the true meaning of marriage. Marriage as God intended is a sacred union of two souls, created for each other, with each other. Unfortunately very few marriages today are founded upon the resonance of souls – let alone two people sharing the same soul. This is where we as Twin flames step in. We are the way showers, here to bring a new template onto this Planet; one where true love is that of the soul and where our love for our partner mirrors our relationship with our Self and God to the most intimate degree, allowing for endless spiritual and emotional growth and discovery. This is not the template of a relationship but of a union which awakens the divine sparkle within us, draws our divine counterpart to us and reminds us of the eternal life which awaits us.
Since consciousness is the basis of all reality, any shift in consciousness changes every aspect of our reality. Meeting our Twin flame is definitely such a shift; they catalyze our spiritual awakening and cause total upheaval in every area of our lives. It only takes one second, one moment for the memories of real, unbridled love to come rushing back. These feelings originate in the soul and spread like fire to the rest of the body. They push us onto a guest for a more authentic life; one where we peel away illusions, tap into our deepest powers, and expand our sense of who we are. We find ourselves questioning everything; not only who we are and what we are doing, but also the decisions we’ve made in the past, including whether and whom to marry.
Meeting our Twin flame when we are already married is truly a test of fire – just like our soul intended it. Since our vibration, awareness and energy immediately jump up a notch – or a dozen- upon meeting them, we become acutely aware of the energetic suppression we’ve been living under. The soul is adamant: it wants resonance, it wants freedom, it wants union – and it wants it NOW. Many bolt out of existing relationships upon meeting their Twin flame since they can no longer find alignment with the old. The blissful, powerful love and otherworldly connection to the Twin flame is felt so strongly that staying in the old relationship becomes unbearable. Every second, every minute we are acutely aware of the pressure upon us to follow the call to be who we really are, at the deepest level within us.
The arrival of the Twin flame and the intense feelings of love are signaling to you that it is time to leave the marriage – not for the promise of blissful Union but because your own soul demands it. The soul does not make mistakes. It knows the path it wants to follow.
Unfortunately as the magnets flip to repel signaling the start of the journey within, many find themselves returning to these old relationships – not because we fell out of love with our Twin flame but because subconsciously we know there is still unfinished business (karma). Furthermore, we suddenly become aware of all the hurt and disappointment we have caused our partner and the other important people in our lives. We seek shelter from the turmoil of our awakening by retreating into the safe haven of our old paradigm marriage, where we hide, protected by the society which demands we do the “right thing” and remain with the person whom we promised our life.
This pattern is a sign of old energy that needs resolving. There is no right or wrong way here – just more work to do and lessons to learn. Ironically, once the dust settles, we may be surprised to find that the marriage seems better in many ways; our spouse may be awakening too, there may be less conflict, and things generally seem to flow better. Of course, this is not because the spouse changed but because we changed, our perception changed – and in turn it affected the whole relationship dynamic. And even though we realize we can never quite go back to the way things used to be, we feel relieved being able to carry on in a marriage where we feel safe and secure but which also does not require us to “invest” ourselves like the Twin flame union does.
Yet as the time goes by… We still find ourselves thinking about our eternal friend Twin flame, wondering what went wrong and why they could not be a part of our life. They are still the first person that we want to run to with important news, heartbreak, the joys of everyday life – and they are the person whose energy we seek when we want to calm our spirit. We may feel their heartbeat inside our own, or pain in our heart when they intimately give themselves to someone else. We may hear them speak to us and feel the warmth of their presence in the heart chakra. The impact of the Twin flame on the energetic body simply cannot be undone or permanently ignored.
This is where the two paths separate. For some, this will be a moment of truth, a recognition of the staying power of this connection; a realization that this person will always be a part of their being, whether they like it or not. These people will do their best to find a way to include the Twin flame in their life, for the benefit of everyone involved. Rather than hiding the connection, they may even come out to their spouse about it.
Then there are those who miss their Twin flame just as much but who are determined to keep this person away from their marriage; not because they worry about that person crossing any lines but because they do not trust themselves not to. The connection is still there, alive and kicking, but suppressed underneath feelings of guilt, duty and responsibility towards the spouse. Even if they do want to reach out, they cannot find the words, frustrated at not being able to express their true heart – or for fear of opening the can of worms that they perceive this connection to be. Even though they may feel confident that they are doing the right thing, they still feel stuck. They may not even realize this has anything to do with the Twin flame, but they find themselves spending more and more time away from home. Sex and intimacy become a struggle. Their health seems affected too; abdominal pains, sciatica, headaches, pain in the legs, feet and lower back – all just a reflection of how stuck they feel emotionally. Since their creativity up and left with the Twin flame they find themselves moving completely into their head space – after all, the Twin flame now occupies the heart space they refuse to visit.
Instead, they throw themselves into religion, politics, work, sports, into anything else that they can obsess over and fill their mind space with. Deep within they know they really should be honest with everyone and end the marriage for that one true chance at happiness – yet what is holding them back is that long shared history, no matter how unhappy or unfulfilling. They feel that they owe it to their spouse to “stick it out”; that they could not handle the guilt of breaking their heart. Maybe they already tried and instead of compassion and reverence received emotional outbursts, suicide threats and more. They may feel like the worst person in the world, a “shithead”, just for feeling this love within… On top of everything, they know they have let their Twin flame down. They haven’t forgotten their promise of a physical Union, made eons ago and reaffirmed in each incarnation. Deep within they have not given up on that promise; they are just postponing it… but to delay Union is a dangerous game that sometimes traps us for a lifetime.
Of course by now both these individuals have realized that they will always carry a part of their Twin flame within, as an energy, a reflection and a presence, as an integral part of who they are. They both know that by deliberately disconnecting from that which is within, a divide is being created within their very own being. It dawns on them that their spouse will never be able to return that vibration of unconditional love to the same degree that the Twin flame can. No matter how much they may try, it will never be as nourishing, as deep, as intimate, as spiritual, as infused in God. Time and time again, the dilemma will continue to present itself: to keep the status quo and die a slow spiritual death only ever giving a part of yourself to the spouse – or to divorce and finally be fully who you are, with or without the Twin flame?
Making the decision to move on is a very difficult one. Feelings of confusion, guilt, hurt, betrayal, loss and emptiness will daily companions throughout the process. The best advice I can give anyone in this situation is to follow your inner voice and look to the universe – not your Twin – for guidance and direction. Ask the Universe for smooth transitions and an outcome for the highest good of all. Also know that meeting your Twin flame in this life does not always mean you are going to get your “happily ever after”. Union is a choice you both must make. You must understand this: there are no guarantees. It is natural to be attracted to people who are of a similar vibration or with whom we already have a deep spiritual bond due to past life experiences – this does not always mean they are your Twin flame, nor does it translate into a compatible lifelong romantic relationship.
Nevertheless, beyond all the questions and moral dilemmas that arise is the reality of Real Love, which is a home-bound movement towards oneness, towards eternity. Is your Twin flame the One with forever in their eyes? If you call on your beloved, is your Twin flame not right there with you? Always was, always will be. If you know you came here to reunite in the most blissful Union with your one true love, then why settle for anything less? Real love is forever; it has real staying power and this journey only ever leads to one place: back to each other. Be brave and ask yourself: is it in the highest good of everyone to put blinders on and persist in a profoundly incompatible marriage, denying yourself and your spouse the chance to find true love; or is it to trust that small voice inside your heart which tells you to take that leap of faith and follow the call home?
So many people know the truth of their heart yet fail to follow through with it. So many of us choose to stunt our growth by remaining in an unfulfilling marriage rather than to move on to new spiritual paths for fear of the unknown. This is the epidemic that still plagues the Twin flame community. I am not saying that a person should leave their marriage at the first sight of the Twin flame, HOWEVER creating something new requires action and sacrifices and it is here that so many of us fall short. This journey demands we give it all. If we do not take the first step then who will? This is all about YOU; about following what your soul tells you.
Divorce is not easy but so many obstacles can be avoided by remaining positive and holding the intention of the highest good for everyone involved. Personally, I cleared a tremendous hurdle on my journey this month. As you may recall I took the leap two years ago to leave my husband (I blogged about it here) for no other reason than to finally be who I am – including allowing the Twin flame energies to flow within me freely. When I told my Twin about it at the time, he mentioned how ironic it was that I seemed to have “gone over the edge” whilst he was still “standing on it“. Two years later he is still on that edge, grasping that can of worms, staring into the cloudy darkness below.
As for me, I took that leap and never looked back!
The big news is that my divorce was finalized earlier this month, ironically just days before what should have been my 10th wedding anniversary.
I can say, hand on heart, that the promise of reunion with my Twin had nothing to do with it.
I divorced because I was presented with a choice; me, my own wholeness and sanity, or my marriage. The decision was not difficult once I reached surrender and found my wholeness within. Surrender, because I could finally allow this pure, transformative, soul-shaking love to flow through me, and finding my wholeness, because it includes the very real energetic presence of my Twin that I no longer wanted to ignore. From now on, I intend to remain in this high vibration, always remembering that I am a soul, here to serve humanity, my Twin flame and my Creator. Furthermore, it no longer feels right to me to mix my essence and energy with anyone who cannot see or love this eternal part within me – or who is not going to be meet me at the pearly gates once this life is over. My soul could want nothing more, nor accept anything less than this. It may sound silly – and it certainly will to those not on this journey – but it is truly what gives me peace and allows me to move deeper into the reality of this love, as well as manage the struggles of every day life without the man that I love.
This is the first time in over 20 years that I have been single. Like many others, I have moved from one long term relationship to another without ever having the time to get to know myself – one on one. I am aware that I join an increasing number of self-realized women who embody their inner Goddess to varying degrees but who are at this moment in time unable to find a man to match their vibration, because the man who once did and who continues to call to their soul is still caught up in a lower vibrational relationship. I remain open to meeting my eternal lover in this lifetime if such has been planned for me, whether that person is my Twin flame or another. Only God knows. All I know, it was not my husband.
Having said this, I am not waiting for anyone. I simply want my soul to lead me further down this path and to show me just how deeply I can love and what that love feels like when it shines a light upon the still unexplored places still within me.
As for my Twin, I love him, *oh so much* but I also know we are not “meant to be together” right now just because of the Twin flame label. The Universe is all about energy and vibration. I hope we can meet in that vibration of unconditional love once more within this lifetime – but having said that, I trust that he is exactly where he needs to be in this moment. He is still in alignment with his past, but things are shifting. Until then, I want his 3D persona to be absolutely free of any pressure; so much so that I haven’t even told him my divorce is final.
To all the soul brothers and sisters walking this path with me, I applaud your courage and determination to live a fuller, more rewarding life. I honor you for remembering that the most important relationship you have is with your Self. Please do not lose it to uphold an institution.
Divorce is never easy. I know now.
But instead of focusing on the negatives, I ask Universe to guide me on the path to Union. I trust that there is a greater plan for me.
I reclaim my life.
I reclaim the Union within.