The folly of running from love – A Runner Twin Flame perspective

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Whether we understand “Twin Souls” as being two souls eternally bound together or one soul inhabiting two bodies, unmistakably they are the One created for us and with us, to help us awaken and remember the Love that we are. The love between the Twin Souls is so potent and so strong that even if we are unaware of our immortal nature as infinite souls, meeting them awakens within us the knowledge that we have known them since the beginning of time.

Our soul, which contains the universe within itself, has the power in a single instant to recognize its true counterpart. While the timing of this life-changing event may be less than ideal from a human point of view, it is nevertheless predestined. When we meet this other aspect of our self in the fish soup of humanity, memories of REAL, unbridled love come rushing back to us, leaving us in awe and amazement of this wondrous person. We are simply swept away by feelings of recognition, belonging, and remembrance, of unconditional love, intimacy, friendship and passion. These feelings originate in the soul and spread like wild fire to the rest of the body. They are like the Sun appearing after a long, hard winter, warming up all the unloved, hidden parts of our heart and soul, covered by eternal ice, never to be rediscovered, always to be kept from the Light. Not only do they melt the ice from around parts of us that even we ourselves can no longer reach, but they breathe new life into a barren landscape and something flourishes. Every moment as we recognize the power of our closeness with them, not to mention its depth and beauty, we find ourselves blossoming like never before.

The overwhelming feelings that they ignite in us knock us into another dimension. It seems as if the whole Universe, God, has conspired to bring us together. All our feelings of not belonging dissolve in an instant in the most profound home-coming that we have ever known. We wonder at the magic of their touch, at how our minds seem to flow from one source and how somehow we know we are bound to this person, to this soul, eternally. They fill up our senses, and every day is a blessing and every moment spent together a moment of freedom, completion and joy, where our heart and soul can finally rest and breathe.

This ignition of the soul is as scary and confusing as much as it is amazing and expanding. Our twin is oftentimes the first and only person to ever have accepted and validated us completely; to the darkest corners of our soul – they “get us” at a level no one ever has, or ever will. Our endless soul searching stops as we find ourselves being reflected back by the mirror of their soul. Driven by an internal confidence and trust, we share with them our darkest secrets, our deepest dreams and our silliest hopes, and they absorb and reaffirm everything we say with unconditional love.

It is the purpose of the Twin Flame to awaken in us to the remembrance of our own wholeness. They are here to help awaken the love within us, and to set us on the path to becoming an expression of God’s goodness, so that when we return to Love, our purpose in life is revealed to us. As our love for them cracks our heart wide open and the light of our eternal soul shines through, we cannot help but recognise our own infinite beauty and light being reflected back at us in their eyes; leaving us at awe and in love with them and with our own self; for the first time in our lives.

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The come-down

Unfortunately more often than not, after an intense stage of togetherness, sometimes referred to as “bubble love”, lasting anything from days, to a couple of weeks or months, our “normal” life seems to catch up with us, perhaps in the form of a relationship we had hoped to leave, pressure from our families, our own need to contain the connection within the rigid definitions of a friend, lover, future husband etc. As we seek to balance this SPIRITUAL  connection with our conditioned physical realityand previous experiences with what we thought love is, we start to see a widening gap between the two.

The reason for this is that in the opening of our hearts we have come so close to God that only true Love can withstand the intensity – and by contrast all that is not purified within us rises to the surface to be healed. We often find that we are simply not emotionally mature enough to deal with the divine stream of light which our twin unintentionally shines on us, bringing all our deepest secrets and fears onto the surface of our consciousness. This would require us to meet everything that arises with LOVE ONLY, and we can only do this once we have found our wholeness and connected with a higher power.

We catch glimpses of just how deep an integrity and how radical a trust we are being asked to show to truly be in alignment with who we really are, but because it is all new to us, we feel fear and doubts creep in. Our mind, which holds onto memories and pain, has a very hard time comprehending these feelings, or how to deal with them. As the Love calls all that which is unacknowledged and unloved within us to come forth, we remember the first time love hurt, and just like the fast signal from the brain to the hand to remove your hand from a hot plate, we react by pulling ourselves away.

We want to shut these feelings off because we remember that when we loved in the past we got hurt, whether it was by our parents, siblings or previous lovers. We remember the pain and hopelessness of rejection and abandonment, and suddenly we seek excuses to convince ourselves that this wonderful person is not “our type”, or that somehow they don’t have the “full package”. We doubt their genuine feelings for us, distrust the fact that they seem to love us so much so soon and suspect that they or God may be playing a trick on us. We start to feel like perhaps we are safer in the old paradigm, in our soul numbing but predictable, passable and safe existence.

Sometimes it is the actions of our Twin Soul which give us the excuse not to deal with the source of the actual pain, which is our lack of love for our Self. So, instead of seeing another person in pain trying to deal to the best of their ability with all that rises to the surface, JUST LIKE US, we think they are doing something to hurt, confuse or ignore us. We drive ourselves mad ruminating their conflicting statements and behaviour, and how they seem to have changed overnight. We know this distant, cold person is not the REAL them. The more we try to get answers from them, or to make sense of it all, the more we either feel rejected, or go on a crusade to “fix them” by chasing them, thinking that if they only let us in, we would help them “deal with” it.

Unfortunately as Twin Souls, we cannot look to the other for our own wholeness, just as we cannot fix or fill any lack that comes from our Twin’s denial of love for himself. We become runners when the heart expansion ignited by our love for our Twin exposes all our innocence and vulnerability, and the pain that we have been hiding inside since our earliest childhood rushes to the gates of our heart to be acknowledged and EMBRACED.  Here it is no longer the pain caused by our love for our twin which surfaces, but the pain we felt as a child, for example when our mother ignored us, or when our father slapped us for misbehaving, at a time when we simply lacked the emotional maturity to deal with it. If we had been allowed to feel and acknowledge our emotions without fearing that this would attract more pain or that love would be withdrawn from us, we would know that there is nothing that can arise in us that we cannot face.

However, to be able to do this would have required us to have parents that encouraged us to express our emotions; who helped us name and identify them; and who guided us through them. If instead of emotionally oppressing us they had helped us acknowledge our emotions while reassuring us that no matter how we feel or act, we are still GOOD and UNCONDITIONALLY LOVED, then we would not be in so much pain. We would be secure in our knowing that even if our Twin Flame acts up or denies us their love, we are still to the very core of us LOVE. Their behavior and words are not reflective of who we are – and neither are they reflective of who they are at the core, no matter how they are seem to behave.

Unfortunately when meeting our Twin Flame brings all this to surface, often subconsciously, we do not know what to do with all this pain and instead, we think our suffering is being caused by the Twin or our own inbred “badness”. So we do what our parents did to us: we categorize, downplay, ignore and project our feelings and then in an ultimate hara-kiri motion, deny OUR SELF the acknowledgement of that pain, and ultimately that love.

We seek any distraction under the sun to not feel that pain anymore, and we “hide” it under a mountain of doing. If we find that we cannot hide from the pain, then we hide from the one whom so acutely, without wanting to, reminds us of it by just being him/ herself, because they reflect what is WITHIN US right back at us. This leads to us avoiding contact with the ONE and ONLY person who has seen and loved us for our true self because this requires us to be just that: OUR TRUE SELF. It requires us to look at ALL that we are: the good, the bad and the ugly, and to LOVE AND ACKNOWLEDGE it all.

As the infinite love that we are, our natural state of being is that of unconditional love, acceptance, compassion, forgiveness, gratefulness and patience, but as humans living by our egos, we are made of identities and thoughts of the past. These thoughts tell us: think before you act, be afraid, protect yourself, lie, manipulate, plan for your future security – and the list goes on, and every excuse and every plan is based on fear. All those fearful thoughts and feelings are not ours. They are not real. Nevertheless when we identify with this part of our Self and meet a person who invites us to snap out of it and be authentic, we set up barriers to protect ourselves from feelings, we feel threat where there is opportunity; we feel danger where there is liberation and we see expectations where there is unconditional love & freedom.

So, rather than embracing what arises, we supress even more, and bury our feelings for our Twin deep inside. In reality, all we are really doing is denying ourselves the very love that we crave – and for an instant thought we had found in someone. The truth is, we did find that love and it is REAL and true, but it is not until we can stay centred in it, treating EVERYTHING that arises with unconditional love and acceptance, no matter what, with or without our Twin, that we can ever hope to truly give and receive that love. If we were able to do that to start with, we wouldn’t have any issue with giving our Twin our love in any shape or form appropriate, including giving them the time or distance they need to face their own demons, because we would know that the only reason they act out and the only reason they avoid us is that they are still working on loving themselves. They are yet to acknowledge their pain as being valid, and part of the divine will, there to help them transform and welcome more LOVE into their hearts and lives.

The simple rule here is: if we do not love ourselves unconditionally and see our self as worthy of receiving this love and know how to receive this love, then we cannot accept that kind of love from anyone else, and certainly not from our Twin; our brightest mirror. There is nothing the chaser can say or do to make the runner see this; it’s an internal process. The only guarantee is that true love never leaves us, and continues to grow even in separation. The Twins are each other’s perfect energetic mirrors and if one is running, then on some level the other one is also. Even if they don’t seem to be running and may even chase; they are running from something within them that is causing them to act in an unbalanced way. When we chase our twin in order to fix them, then there is something that needs fixing inside us. When we accuse them of denying their feelings for us; what feelings are we denying ourselves? When we claim that they are not being true to themselves; in which ways are we not being true to ourselves? This is not just the ultimate twin flame cliché but the truth: it is NEVER about them and always about YOU.

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How and why I became the runner

Like they say, the course of true love never did run smooth, and my own experience, spanning 13 years, is no exception. I have been both a “runner” and a “chaser”, so can identify with and understand both. When I first ran within months of meeting him, my Twin and I were both trying to leave long-term relationships. He had left his marital home just before meeting me pushed by his spiritual awakening and followed by emotional blackmail and suicide threats from his wife, whereas I was trying to leave my abusive boyfriend for good. The old fears and faces of our co-dependent lives soon caught up with us as his estranged wife announced her visit, causing him to distance himself from me. Suddenly this man, who hung on every word I said, who looked at me like a blind man staring at the sun and who until then could not get enough of me gave me speech about his duties and obligations towards her. When I, in pain and confused, asked where I stood in all this, he told me that we were only ever meant to be friends, and how he valued my friendship and never wanted to lose it; and that the rest was “just a bonus”. He alternated between treating me like the lover I always was to him; and friend-zoning me and accusing me of expecting something off him when it happened.

At the same time my ex was harassing me; often refusing to leave my flat and being physically and mentally abusive in the process. With Twin, we remained in our bubble for as long we could: spending nights talking about all the dreams we shared. One night he turned to me and said “Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we could both wave a magic wand and resolve each other’s problems?”, and boy if it had only been so simple! But how to do this when we were so afraid; of being hurt by our ex-lovers or of them hurting themselves; of all the things within our conditioned existence which screamed at us to come back to our senses, to return to “normality” – how to find the strength under so much pressure?

As his estranged wife arrived in town, I found being his “dear friend” increasingly difficult. His words about this most passionate, expansive, beautiful love being just a “bonus” span in my head and ate away at me. I felt pushed aside and deeply rejected, as the newly discovered “me” now lay on the ground in tatters, feeling utterly confused and unloved. Rising from my heart was the most intense pain, an awareness of him now sharing the very bed, where our souls had only a few nights ago entwined and melded in an explosion of galaxies in the presence of God almighty, with his wife.

I knew that I loved him and wanted him to be happy, and I certainly did not want to be a home wrecker or ruin any chance of him returning to the woman he himself told me he had been hoping to spend the rest of his life with when they met. I knew he wasn’t happy with her but I admitted to myself that perhaps he would always keep running back to her. It dawned on me that he wasn’t as free or available as he had led me to believe. Maybe I was just a past-time while they were going through a rough patch? I felt like SUCH A FOOL to have believed him; but more than anything I was mad at myself for having believed that this kind of love existed for me.

During her visit we continued to work together. It was a bittersweet time where at nights we would take the long way home and sit in the bus with our legs resting against each other. When his wife extended her stay and as our project together was coming to an end, instead of joining me on a trip we had planned to go and visit my family, he decided to travel somewhere else. This just reinforced my idea that he was not serious and that in fact I had just been the “flavour of the month”, always at risk of being tossed aside, never knowing when he would run back to his poor, long-suffering wife. While I was still away he called me and told me he missed me but this did nothing to dispel my fears: I was convinced that since we no longer worked together, I would only ever get crumbs of his time now. I dreaded the moment I would return home and spend 24/7 anticipating his call, only to find him busy with everything and everyone else.

The few weeks that we did not see each other due to being out of town were enough to send me deep into the abyss where all my insecurities surfaced and I found myself with no solid ground to stand on. The divine light and love I had seen in him had flipped my reality upside down, and undeniably for me, this love was the ONLY thing that was REAL in this world of illusion. I couldn’t see how I could live without him, since without him there was no life, no love, no me. Who am I if this man who perfectly reflects me is rejects me? Am I so unlovable that even the very reflection of me abandons me? If only I had known that it wasn’t him denying me that love; it was me denying it from myself.

Underneath all the pain that arose were also more noble feelings. I felt like he was not doing right by his soul – and very strongly felt like I could not just watch him choose more suffering without trying to change him. I wanted him to find peace in his heart. If it meant he needed to be with her or someone else, so be it. I did not want to be there trying to affect the outcome – and I knew if I stayed I would have always hoped he would “see the light”. I knew that he had to figure it out himself. So many things went through my mind: rejection and my own feelings of unworthiness being the main things. What hurt perhaps the most was that I was being tormented by the intense emotional pressure, physical violence and threats from my ex-boyfriend and I simply wanted my Twin’s support. But I didn’t get that. This man, who had insisted he would do anything for our friendship simply wasn’t there. If he really did care about me like he said, if he was really such a “close friend”, then where was he? What was stopping him from being there?

If only I had known that he could not be there for me because he was also in pain; because he was under that same pressure; also fearing rejection as well as my expectations (even when I insisted I didn’t have any), and more than anything, he could not be there for me because he was not there for himself. He distracted himself with travel, projected feelings onto me – and ran, emotionally. It made me want to run to the opposite direction, but faster, and farther. What I didn’t realise was that we weren’t really running from each other, but from the pain and from the issues that arose.

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Blocking my Twin

Returning from my holiday, I wish I could say that I gracefully “let go” of my Twin, but by then I was so deep in my own self-denial, thinking he didn’t care about me, that in a horrendous act of indifference I erased him from my life. I hadn’t stopped caring about him and of course I wish I had been more mature about it but I didn’t know what I was doing. More than anything I bolted out of the connection to be freed of the pain; of all the demons I knew I would have to face to be able to love him freely, regardless of whether he loved me back or not. It had nothing to do with him or what he was doing, I see that now. But at the time it was fight or flight; and I flew out of there like a bat out of hell with a 180 degree speed turn. I put him in a corner of my heart, closed the door and threw the keys away. I had nothing to remind me of him; no e-mails, no objects. The one picture I had I shred. I deleted his number from my mobile phone and his e-mail address from my contact list. I even went as far as blocking incoming e-mails from him.

When he soon caught onto the fact that I was avoiding him, he desperately tried to call me, leaving me, in his own words “5,000 messages”. When I’d hear his voice on my voicemail, I erased the messages without listening. I stopped using my mobile phone, the very same phone I had bought just so that he could call me, and changed numbers. When he managed to get through to me on the landline, I did not know what to say. I’d make an excuse and promise to call him back, knowing very well that I wouldn’t. When mutual friends and work colleagues said he was asking about me and wanted to speak to me, I refused to listen. I forbade them from even mentioning his name because it brought up too many emotions I couldn’t deal with. I ended up leaving my job since this was where we had met, because everything reminded me of him and I feared running into him.

To be honest, it didn’t even cross my mind that he could be hurting too. The distance he had put between us, his words about us being just friends, the way I was cast aside when his wife arrived in town were was proof to me that he didn’t care. In fact, I thought I was doing both of us a favour. I couldn’t understand what he wanted from me if I was just a friend, except to play with my feelings and then accuse me of having expectations and run back to his wife. I knew he was trying to reach me but I had no idea just how much since I was blocking any incoming communications from him. I even left my landline unplugged for days at a time just so I didn’t have to keep filtering my calls and go through the stress of hearing his voice. I wanted to see him but felt like for my sanity I couldn’t. When he did get hold of me I told him that I was back with my boyfriend (which I wasn’t – yet).

What does the runner feel

Feeling the intensity of that connection pull away left me feeling like my soul had left my body and the void that appeared within me started to engulf me. I thought that if I just ignored it, it would go away but instead, it threw me into the darkest, most agonising figurative hell, where lost souls whither in agony and pain, where the eternal flames of regret and abandonment lick their burning flesh, and where only God hears them. All the feelings that taunted me, of being unloved, rejected, ashamed, insane and worthless filled my mind. I cried, pleaded and sat in darkness rocking like a nutcase as I felt my heart break in every possible way. Until I met him I had not even believed in God, but I prayed to God like there was no tomorrow; and really for me, there wasn’t. There was only an eternal agony; a never-ending hell where I would burn for all eternity because when I opened myself up to love, all I did was to cause myself and others more pain. I prayed that God would grant me the relief of being able to forget about my Twin Soul, to erase him from my mind completely.

Every attempt he made to contact me only served as a reminder to me that it had all been just a terrible MISTAKE. If this all-consuming, powerful love had not been able to free me from my conditioned, codependent existence, then no other love would ever do this. We had only ever happened by some cosmic error, which God had not hesitated to rectify as soon as he realised His mistake. The height from which I had fallen face first onto the proverbial ground caused me to vow to myself that I would never again try to reach so high, because if love with which nothing seemed impossible could not set me free, then NOTHING in God’s creation could. I so wanted to reach back at him but I felt that this would be just another mistake, on top of the original cruel mistake.

Minutes turned into hours, days, weeks and then months. Little by little, I started living again. Meeting my twin had changed me and I realised I could not live the life I had before. I was living from a more authentic place, doing all those things I had always wanted to but had never dared to, fuelled by the dreams me and twin had shared. Eventually I took my boyfriend back, finding comfort in the thought that at least he needed me, had been miserable for weeks, and kept begging me to take him back. He was not perfect but we had a lot of history, and the irony was that he had been a great support to me during my darkest days feeling the loss of my Twin. I reasoned with myself that this is what love is: attachment, taking care of each other, needing each other, compromise. I was happy to see the whole dynamics of my relationship with my boyfriend change. We embarked on the spiritual path together travelling around the world and he was behaving in a much nicer way towards me because I no longer allowed myself to be bullied. I resigned to the fact that this was my place in life; and that I had been a fool to believe that I could meet someone and instantly love them and that it could be something that lasts forever. Such love was only ever a dream.

It was only a couple of years later that I found out that my Twin had left the country about 15 months after I cut contact with him. Little did I know, on that very same month that he left the country I also decided to do the same, after nearly a decade there. Without knowing anything about each other’s whereabouts or movements, we both set off to travel the world at the same time. One morning as I logged onto my emails at a beach café in Thailand, out of the blue waiting for me was an email from him. We were both travelling through the same region. I opened his email and without reading it fully, scrolled all the way down. I went on forever; speaking about our love, of our souls together, of his feelings for me… But it was like a message from another dimension that I couldn’t quite decipher or get my head around. I was hit by a momentary panic, of feeling my intense feelings for him stir somewhere deep inside, and then remembering that I was back with my boyfriend and we had come a long way: things were going really well and I had just started to feel like myself again. We were planning a new life in a new country. So in a panic, I deleted his email, without ever reading it or replying to it. Little did I know that as we both started our new lives with our old partners in the new country, we had both moved to within less than an hour’s drive from each other.

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Conclusion

I ran for nearly 3 years until a series of events that deserves to be narrated in a separate post. During this time I rarely thought of my Twin because I wouldn’t allow my mind to wander to him, but I felt him with me most of the time. As I returned to him, I learned that he had loved me all along, regardless of his personal circumstances or demons. He had also gone through his own slice of hell when I disappeared. It was however only years later that I realised that we had BOTH contributed to the imbalance of our energies with our refusal to love and acknowledge whatever arose from the pain our connection brought up in each other.

One thing that all runners share is that they are IN PAIN which they do not acknowledge, and although they do not mean to hurt us, they do not know how to change their behaviour. The runner runs; not because they cannot face you but because they refuse to look at themselves. The runner thinks that by avoiding you he won’t have to face his issues, but no matter how long or far they run, they don’t have a choice. You can’t fight God: what we resist persists. Furthermore, the True love of the Twin Souls is protected and ordained by a higher will, continuing to consume the two twins in separation until eventually they are driven back together. What was once whole will never stop wanting to be whole, and the two souls will never stop trying to reunite no matter how the runner pushes against it.

The runner did not suddenly stop loving you and become another person. More likely, their love for you remains as strong as ever; it’s just that they are still working on loving themselves fully. The Twin Souls must both find the LOVE WITHIN before they can give it to each other. You have to love yourself first, or a relationship between you in the human sense will never work, because you will always keep triggering each other into a vicious circle of pushing and pulling. So, whether they seem to have returned to a life of 3d distractions and other relationships, or cut of all contact with you, or if they are pushing & pulling, the love within them will nevertheless have been ignited. The separation is necessary and often unavoidable, since the physical union takes place through self -love and surrender to God.

In time, every runner must face a choice: of either living in pain, or returning and facing the deep love, working though the fears of possible rejection and feelings of unworthiness. In the meantime, we must accept that the runner is on a personal journey; and we cannot blame them or make them responsible for what we feel inside. The reasons they have abandoned us most likely have nothing to do with us. Let’s not deny our Twins the space they need to heal or face their demons, and let’s not judge or point out their flaws & weaknesses or to try to control the outcomes.

Instead, let’s see the Twin Flame love as an invitation to get to know & love our Self and God, to find our own wholeness and to recognize ourselves as a part of the equation. The focus therefore must be internal. Rather than chasing the Runner, let’s work towards our own spiritual growth, keeping our heart space open for our twin but living full lives, with or without them. When we truly love, we LOVE and ACCEPT our twin just the way they are, without seeking to change them, but rather loving EVERYTHING about them.

God has set up the balance between the Twin Flames and both must turn to Him in order to shed all that which is no longer required. This is done through a complete surrender to the all-consuming love of the Twin Flames,  only bringing unconditional love to the table, no matter what. If the two Twin Flames release the past and anything living inside of them that is not authentic, then certainly they will reach the perfect balance between them, starting with the internal and reflecting outwards. It is only by both of them setting themselves in correct relation to God that their two souls can exist peacefully within their two bodies.

Where there is REAL love, there is no room for self; there is ONLY room for love.

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216 Responses to The folly of running from love – A Runner Twin Flame perspective

  1. Belinda says:

    Hi there
    What a wonderful article! How much of your story mirrored mine? Almost all of it and I wondered for a moment if your Twin and mine were not the same person, haha. Impossible, I know, but uncanny just the same.

    There is something that I am quite perplexed about and I was hoping that you may be able to clarify something for me. Due to conflicting articles I’ve read, I’m still not quite sure whether it is beneficial or not for a ‘Chaser’ to sever ties with a ‘Runner’ when the pain of chasing becomes unbearable and hinders the progress of other aspects of your life. My career has come to a standstill as has my ability to mix socially. Spiritually I am soaring but otherwise I am floundering…having my Twin come into my life has shaken my foundations. I don’t even know who I am anymore.

    My Twin is 25 years younger than me and has a lot of life to live yet. He is a wonderful person but has a lot of issues and I really believe that I need to cut contact with him so he can awaken in his own time…he doesn’t want my input anyway. I also need to pursue my own spiritual journey without the emotional interference that I endow upon myself with all this ‘chasing’ hoo-ha. I also want some degree of sanity to return. What is your opinion? Thankyou xx

    Liked by 2 people

    • I’m in the same situation, Belinda. My TF is 18 years younger and we are close even though we only met a few months ago, He has plans to work abroad, whereas I have done that already. He is me, exactly how I was when I was his age. I love him unconditionally and I know there’s pain ahead as there is a lot now and we have only just really connected. I don’t know how to handle it. Last night I heard his voice call my name and it woke me up with a jolt. I have tried to contact him today but all there is is silence.

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      • Lucy says:

        I have been on this TF Journey for 4 years now–the Spring Equinox is the date/day I mark our connecting physically even though I met him months before. My TF is 7 years younger. We have been on a “roller coaster” ride encompassing ALL shades of this experience. I am now focusing on my Self intensely even though I think about and feel him 24/7. A large part of my practice is feeling my feelings and Loving my Self through it all. I have gotten help from TF “healers” with integrating yin/yang in my Self, clearing stuff that is in the way of our TF Union. Knowing the Love I feel for him IS me. And always when I rest in this Divine Love I connect with him there and this is the Ultimate Healing, He has stepped back so to speak and so have I in a sense–by default–and from what I have learned this is all part of The Divine Plan. Fortunately. As my small plan has never worked to bring me what I desire or happiness. It is a moment to moment practice of surrendering, letting go and Accepting/Imbracing and Loving my Self in every shade of feeling. I KNOW that what I am doing for my Self–my TF directly benefits too. It feels so lonely at times and I remind my Self I Am NOT alone; as first, I am ALWAYS connected Heart to Heart and Soul to Soul with my TF. Also, through my inquiring I have found and connected with a TF Community going through just what I and my TF are going through. I have stayed in this (there is really no getting out) because of the deep Love and Soul Connection I have felt from the beginning.) I had an intuitive hit a year after we met about he and I Being Twin Flames.) And right from the beginning I knew deep inside I wanted him to Be in my Life no matter what and one of those “no matter whats” was he did not want to be monogamous with me. I said okay because I knew this was not like any other “relationship”. It went far wider and deeper than anything I had experienced before and I was literally compelled to stay with it–The Love, Heart Connection, Home feeling–all from the very beginning even before I “got” that we are TF. Even right now the more I focus on my Self, clear stuff, surrender and Love my Self and him there has been shifts of him coming in my direction with Love and Inclusion. It seems bizarre that Divine’s Plan would include the deep, deep pain of transformation. Yet I want to acknowledge the wonderful bliss of the Divine Love I feel constantly. Keep on Keeping On if you want to be the Best person you can be in this LifeTime 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      • melanie says:

        hello i need to talk to someone who understands. my TF is 25 yrs younger and we are at the point in his life i have to let him fly i feel like im going to break.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Lucy says:

        Hi Melanie ~ My situation/circumstances are not exactly like yours yet I am willing to listen and be supportive and understanding. My email is lucymmgeorge@gmail.com or find me on facebook Lucy Monica George.

        Liked by 1 person

      • doucejonna says:

        Melanie, darling,
        I really feel for you. I want you to know that I – as well as many others here- know how you feel. The thing is, this not an easy path to travel and the central lessons of this journey always seem to come through letting go and surrender. You are right that you may need to let your twin fly – not for his sake, but also for yours. Your happiness and health (mental, spiritual, emotional, physical) matter too. I think it’s important to understand that the peace that we all seek will not come through your Twin flame or anything that they say or do – but with a journey to the self – which includes sitting down with those uncomfortable feelings and facing them – as well as through opening ourselves to love more & more until it doesn’t hurt any more to love them even when they are not there in the physical.
        My best advice to you is to find an outlet for all these feelings that cause you pain – be it writing, long walks, drawing, singing, crying.. Maybe take some time out, be by yourself, or with friends if that helps. Then, go after what makes you happy. Start with small things; they are the easiest to do even when your heart is not in it (and it may not be, to start with). Something that helped me at this stage was a thing I picked up in one of Teal Swan’s videos. I promise you, if you do this, you will start to regain your light and happiness – and more importantly, your Self. With any decision, big or small, ask yourself “what would a person who loves themselves do?” and do the loving thing, as much as you can. Not only will this open your eyes to all the ways in which you deny yourself that which is loving; this will also teach you self-love– and help you see that you are not the helpless victim here. You do have a choice. You do not need to break and cease to exist just because your twin has to live their life away from you.
        That horrendous pain that we feel when we must let them go often comes from feeling that somehow something is being taken away from us when they are not there. But actually, with time the opposite happens. If this person is your twin, they will ALWAYS BE A PART OF YOU. You cannot and will not lose them. In fact, even if they are not there, this connection can turn into something that nourishes, empowers and drives you, rather than something that kills you inside. But it’s all down to the work that you are willing to do; to look at those not-so-pretty things that the connection and the loss of the physical twin bring up – and do something about them, at your own pace.
        Use the connection to get closer to you and your Creator – and in return your twin will be a lot closer to you. With all my love and sympathy, Jonna x

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    • Belinda,
      I feel like I am in the same boat. I met my tf 3 years ago. My Tf is 16 years younger. I was the 1st one to run. I am married and have kids. I have been miserable for years and years but thought I was doing what was “right” and pushed myself aside for the kids and stayed. After meeting my tf my soul sent a bolt through me that it would not tolerate me doing this anymore. But with the age different I pushed him away because I didn’t want him to “give up” the experiences of his age. He needed to find his way. And I pushed and pushed unti he thought I didn’t care. He could not function and started a relationship to be “normal”. When he told me I broke. And at this point he has asked to be able to do this. He says it is good, not great or fantastic just good. It is funny it is me. It is what I did for years. I know he has to learn it himself. It is crushing and I started to chase, begging for him to see me. But he says it does nothing for us. And so I will let him go. It is agony every second but it is not the right time. I am so thankful for him.
      It would be nice to speak with someone going through this with the age different as it is for us. Don’t want a pity party but someone that understands the connection and struggles N_schelter@hotmail.com

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  2. I absolutely LOVE this article. I am the ‘chaser’, although we are both running. My TF ran from me in February right after we were together from November 12th-February 6th. We are in a long distance relationship because I moved away. I was so devastated and confused. My world felt as if it were caving in on me. My TF would hurt me so deeply by telling me that we don’t connect. I have always had this fear he would leave me for this one girl that he used to be with. I would have nightmares about it for a few nights in a row. Today, I found out that he is back with this girl. This girl is no good for him. She does all sorts of drugs and smokes cigarettes. I do not judge her for it of course, but it pains me to think about him possibly doing those things to himself. I became enlightened about 2 months ago about why he was doing this and it made my heart feel less heavy. I simply do not know what to do and I need some guidance. What is the mentality of the runners? I know you had mentioned it, but I am still unsure about it. Do runners go back to past relationships because they know it will not hurt them because it already has? What are some healing activities I can do to accomplish unconditional love? Does the universe give you signs to when you are going to reunite with your TF? Thank you for this lovely article!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Lucy says:

    First, I do not call my TF a “runner”. My sense of his behavior is that he contracts in terror from the intensity of the TF connection/vibration; the terror of seeing him Self so clearly reflected.
    My TF had invited a woman from his past to live with him this past mid-February. I could sense they were having a very “ego/mind” connection. He was in a horrible state the whole time she was there. She just moved out about a week and a half ago. The experience was painful for all involved. Why did he do it?? I asked him in the beginning of her stay with him. He said it was what he needed to do; it was karmic; similar to his mom “stuff”. After she left, he once again invited me into his life experience.
    Focus on your Self, integrate the feminine and masculine within–Being Whole, focus on Heart Love–Be the Love you feel; send your TF Love from your Heart to his Heart, visualize connecting that way and connecting Soul to Soul with your TF; utilize the Merkabah with these visualizations.
    Recognize 3d experience or living in the mind/ego vs. 5d Living/Experience or Living As Soul.
    Find videos online to help with clearing the old patterns to make way for the New; clearing the way for Sacred Union. Here is a video I find very helpful for clearing: http://events.instantteleseminar.com/?eventid=71356917
    I hope this helps.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Sonja says:

      THis is all so timely and your advice is giving me some peace. The departure recently, of my twin flame and I has brought up so much stuff in myself that needs healing. LAck of self love at the deepest level, lack of power in my feminine. And what you say about the “ego/mind’ connection with someone else, is exactly what is happening for him now. He ran, and the shock has had me crying for weeks, yet I also am grately for finally addressing what needs to be healed in myself. I have not contact with him at present, I identify the need to heal my own wounds. I do feel sick when I think of him with someone else. But he is seeking safety in the familiar and not looking within to heal. I have to trust the divine plan. But gosh it is so hard! I miss him. I am working on lifting my vibration so as to create energy for us to connect when I feel empowered in back in my feminine strength and not the little, people pleasing little girl I had become in his presence. This is a gift I have to believe this in my heart.

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  4. keith says:

    The things we see in our tf is a reflection of our own inability to see what’s in ourself in some variation or form. Which is why one tf runs in actual reality both are runners. You shouldn’t look at your tf as needing time or that there not dealing with things. Your tf leaving was an act of love. Orchestrated by your soul or higher self
    This was part of your blueprint before the two of you incarnated here to the physical plane. Your soul therefore altered the vibrational state of what we call ego forcing one tf to run. So both of you will be forced to surface deeper parts of yourselves that you have disowned in order to heal and learn how to love yourselves unconditionally. Otherwise both of you would remain in a static sate.
    The idea of free will. Is a very misunderstood human concept. Everything is always guided by soul (higher self) anytime your tf pushes you away know this is always an act of love guided by your soul. You are not loving yourself in some particular way. Your tf may seem cold towards you and indifferent. Although they are hurting as much as you are,and they are in pain from being separated as well, Again as I said there leaving was an act of love to force the both of you to surface deeper parts of yourself in order to learn to love unconditionally.

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  5. Ayanda says:

    Dear TFs
    I want to know if anyone else has cried as much as I have when their twin “ran” from them. Nobody ever really talks about it but I kind of feel like this is something that would be interesting to hear about especially from the male twins.

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    • Lucy says:

      I am not a male…. and YES I have cried so very very very much. In my experience, it is part of the process of purging the old ~ making way for the new. Crying for me is part of letting go of the old patterns, beliefs, paradigms, expectations. At times, I wondered if change/shift would come/happen. There has definitely been a shift and still more to come I am sure. I have had to let go of old ideas and expectations of “relationship” every minute of the day of every day–it seems.

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      • Ayanda says:

        I do agree with you on the logic behind the tears. It had been very therapeutic for me too but sometimes just like you, the pain had been something that I never thought I’d be able to overcome. So this had me seeking ways to get rid of it on a more permanent basis. I wanted to take my own life. I was just a coward about doing it..Haha. I still get a little anxious now and then but there’s definitely been a major improvement. THANK GOD!

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      • Lucy says:

        I too have had the thought that if I just wasn’t in this body anymore it would all be okay. Now I am much more clear because of all the INNER PROCESSES that have brought me to where I am presently. I am stronger and clearer today in the knowing that I am a TF with a Divine Purpose, Divine Plan, Divine Mission even though the details are not fully flushed out yet. And the Glory I feel is not about being with my TF even though he has been more inclusive of me, inviting me more into his experience which is all great and wonderful for sure. Yet all of the pain (and bliss) has brought me to a place of clarity, strength and determination that I (solely) am here for a Divine Reason.

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      • Ayanda says:

        That’s a great space to be in. I know because I’m currently riding that wave. And yeah at this point a twin becomes irrelevant. We are in love with ourselves now. We do not need anything and right when one stops needing, everything falls to place. However I’ve also learned to honour my soul. Whenever I feel the need to contact my twin I do. Without expecting anything in return. It’s very therapeutic.

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    • Nobodyknowstbh says:

      yes, some of them do. They might become numb and the brightest days of summer can be the darkest days ever. They don’t look at themselves in the mirror, they don’t know what they’re going to eat or do. They become a zombie, barely managing to move. I guess they’re depressed and trying to figure out where to go from there. Pain is just pain.

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    • Laurie Zetts says:

      Yes, I cried deep, “soul sobs,” at least once a day, every day since he ran…until just a few days ago and I realized I wasn’t really feeling anything for him…not missing him, no tears…nothing!! It felt kind of nice, for the first time in a long while, actually!! Then I realized why. I did what I had always did before when I experienced men “running.” I was seeking the attention of previous romantic interests as a way to numb myself and suppress ,y feelings for my twin…I now realize this to be the way I dealt with this kind of pain before…but nothing had been this intense!! I was drawn to this article again and am feeling those feelings, with tears falling!! I don’t feel the hurt as much though, since I knew enough not to do much chasing and instead did TONS of inner healing<3

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      • I cried deeply, a lot, and often…sometimes I still do even though my TF invites me to be with him more often now than not. I attribute this, largely, to my letting go–my experience is the crying and pain is the letting go–of what I thought our Union should look like, accepting what is and it has resulted in getting what I have always wanted–to Be with my TF. Now, Being together often has it’s own challenges as my TF is in the throes of alcoholism. It is another layer/level of growth for me in Being accepting,patient, compassionate, forgiving = Love.

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  6. Can't remember says:

    I’ve written here before a while ago but forgot my user name.
    someone asked if guys cry , well yes we do but our tears run down the inside of our cheeks (a male thing I think ) I prayed that I would be able to get it out but it runs on the inside where no one can see.
    Someone asked about severing ties , well I blocked her about a year ago for a couple months , genuinely not to hurt her at all but for me and it was strangely peacefull for that time, then I unblocked her and there she was as if nothing happened . As I lie her now in bed I’m strongly considering doing it again but for longer this time, A Chinese saying goes something like this.. They may wonder why or they may not even notice but if you leave correctly you will never know.

    I have a callous question to ask the girls, don’t quite know how to say it but it’s a theory , sorry if it sounds like the most shallow thing said on the forum but I try and try make sense of it all …. Is it possible for a woman to feel the depth of love for a man she has not slept with ? Of all I’ve read the chaser woman has been intimate, whilst the chaser man hasn’t (with some exceptions obviously , but on the whole it seems like this is the trend and main difference between male and female chasers). Also as a side note , although I consider myself to be the chaser I never ever initiate the contact, it’s always her, but I’ve always been the one to express my feelings, subtly and gently but clear .. whilst she remains behind the wall. I’ve never asked her to respond (lady’s if a man lets you know , it takes a lot for him to do this , at the least let him know .. It’s just cruel to withhold even if you feel nothing say it!) Lastly to be honest I’ve never seen her in a lustfull light , these feelings are always on a very much deeper level ( men do differentiate between lusting or loving for a woman, and sometimes once that lust has been satisfied they can withdraw but to withdraw from loving is a different ball game) do you see love as a weekness in a man? Must he take you lustfully then fall in love ? I’m saying this not to doubt or hurt anyone but I’m so gob smacked by this connection that I have to try make sense of the psychology of it . If it’s one thing I’ve learnt it is the duality of masculine and feminine halves that are so different yet perfectly complimentary. I’m considering past life regression in the hope it may heal me .. I’ve dreamt of her a number of tmes where she looks completely different but I knew it was her. Anybody else have this. Anyway the experience from the first day I heard her voice on the phone until today has utterly changed me so much that the old me is gone and new me has emerged from a painful painful metamorphoses. Once again I’ve written this not offend but to show a little glimpse into the masculine psyche.
    Haha .. A riddle! Why did God make women so pretty and yet so stupid?
    Pretty so men would fall in love with them, stupid so they would fall in love with men 🙂

    Never mind , probably I’m delusional to believe such a conscept exists , if I ever get over this I never ever want to go through it again. I’m married btw and remained faithful and will carefully follow my dharma, I didnt choose this, as hurtful as its been I’m greatful and I’ll always love her never to have her in my arms

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    • Lucy says:

      My experience is not so much like yours in the 3d details…I will say this if (and only you and your tf know) your are twin flames you and your tf DID choose it. That is a basic deep concept and a first step that I would suggest you let absorb into your Self and realize, recognize, get it, BE it. TF’s are never separate no matter what you or she does in the 3d. Heart 2 Heart and Soul 2 Soul you are ALL WAYS connected in LOVE ~ Divine Love. Through it all and no matter what….BE The Love that is what tf’s are here to BE/DO 🙂 You DO Remember and so does she even if it doesn’t seem or look like it. The more you take care of your Self the more the UniVerse will respond in like in every aspect of your experience especially your tf.

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    • Dear Can’t remember.
      Wow I have so much I want to say to you. You sound like a lovely guy! I am in my early 40s and my twin is 26. He won’t have a sexual relationship although he shows his love in other ways. So no it’s not all about sex and lust at least not for mature women, but it’s something that I would love to have soon and when trust has been formed between us. I love him very deeply without having even kissed him.

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      • dougster says:

        Hello there,

        I would be happy to chat with anybody willing to talk. I could use advice.

        I did meet my Twin-flame as we worked at the same restaurant. She was a waitress and I washed dishes. We talked about everything and we clicked in an amazing way. I believe that I did feel the intensity of it first before she did. We used to joke around and flirt with each other. I knew she had a boyfriend and I really only viewed her as a friend originally. Yet one day it just hit me hard. It was as if I fell in this enormous abyss and surrounded by all these emotions and constant euphoria. I did feel like I had always known her even though it had only been a few months. She has a one year old daughter named Alice who is as amazing as her. It was very awkward for me……She said that we were only friends, but she continued to do a flirting thing that she was so good at. I gave her a dozen gifts over time…..baby clothes, baby shoes, a 50 piece art supply kit, drawings that I did for her(I enjoy drawing & she is an artist too). I did quit the restaurant to attempt to get away myself. I was not good at it though. I would go to the restaurant just to eat at one of her tables and chat with her. I convinced her to meet me at a restaurant for dinner and I even promised to buy dinner for herself and her sister Victoria. To my surprise she agreed. I did meet them at Olive Garden(her favorite restaurant). I loved to give her gifts. I honestly just loved being in her presence. I did feel what I could only describe as electrical energy…..I suppose that it is her very soul that I was feeling. We had a great time, but she is still in a relationship with her boyfriend that makes me sad. Over the time we worked together I had learned that her guy is verbally rude to her. I did go back to the restaurant where we worked together and got hired back pretty easily. I only worked with her again for about a month. The last day I worked with her something happened. I had just finished my shift and she had a few more hours to go. I looked for her simply to say goodbye before I did leave the restaurant…..She said: “Oh Doug, let me give you a hug before you leave!” She did look like she was going to cry. That was the last day that we worked together. She even blocked me on Facebook. I suspect that this is the waiting period that I must pass through. She is 10 years younger than me, but I never considered that an issue….I am 42. I think the real issue is that she is still with her boyfriend that she has been with for years and that is the obvious issue. She is not available to be in a relationship with me. How long things remain like this…..I simply do not know.

        I would be glad to discuss things with anybody. antiquedoug@yahoo.com

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    • Mea Culpa says:

      Bless your sweet heart- personally I believe that divine love transcends lustfulness. I was never intimate with my twin. We were both married. Still, the love that I have for him surpasses any love I have ever experienced in my life. Thankfully, my marriage has since ended; and I have no desire to ever be with another man other than my twin. It seems hopeless to me. Other men relentlessly pursue, but it is a complete waste of their time. Knowing that this person exists on this earth with me, yet we are not together haunts me to no end. It is an indescribable agony that I feel will only cease once I draw my last breath and I pray for that end to come quickly.

      I was always the one that would reach out to him. That is over. He made it clear in his silence that he wanted nothing to do with me. Unlike you, he never expressed his feelings, if he had any. If anything, he went out of his way to call bullshit on it all. Perhaps, it was a false twin… I don’t know. I had a spiritual awakening after he came into my life. I was shown,while in an altered state of consciousness, who we were to one another. He was practically a stranger to me. I swear I thought I was going insane. I am constantly bombarded with synchronicities and now have to deal with psychic abilities that are so foreign to me. I pray for sleep to no avail, but there he is, even in my dreams. The dreams are tormenting to me, as they are always highly spiritual and it takes me days to recover. How I wish I could go back in time. If I had known this was coming, our meeting, and the subsequent turmoil that would ensue, I would have left the country. I find no respite. He sits with me, paralyzing me. Relief never comes. Utter madness with no way out except death…How I long for it. It is a curse, that I would not wish on my worst enemy. I can’t imagine that my soul would have asked for any of this nonsense. I am just a shell of my former self now. Friends and family probably think I have completely lost it. Normal happiness eludes me and I find myself letting go of long-term relationships and friendships that no longer resonate with me. It is very isolating, but yet I don’t seem to care.

      So… I don’t know what advice to give you, other than, yes, a woman can love a man so deeply, in all ways, an agape love, without there ever having been a physical consummation of the two individuals. My love for him transcends all others. Everyone else pales in comparison. He is my beloved now and forever…my sweetheart, the most precious soul in my eyes.

      Yet, my hands remain tied, one cannot make another love them or force something that is just not felt by the other, so I have given up. Maybe in time I will overcome this love and find happiness with another, though it seems doubtful. I date when it suits me, just to escape the pain, but even to the other man, he knows where my heart is. I don’t know how he deals with it. I imagine I could force myself to eventually love him, as he adores me and he is very dear to me. I know God divinely orchestrated our meeting. He entered my life at the breakdown of my marriage and has been a source of love and support for me. I have read that often, when one twin, for whatever reason, is not awakened, or has chosen to ignore the connection and wishes no relationship with the other, that the universe will usher in another soulmate that can fill that void. I sense this is the case in my situation, but yet, I fight it. I guess it is time to lay my dream to rest and go on, try to make a life with someone that appreciates my company and the love I have to offer. God bless you.

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      • Lucy says:

        Just know if you are TF’s than you are eternally connected and will experience Union either in this life or another. It could be many years or not when you do Unite; knowing that it will happen helps move things along. What has been and is helpful for me to experience Sacred Physical Union is imaging The Divine Light and Divine Love Within and Around my TF and my Self AllWays no matter what is happening in 3D. Imaging the Merkabah and seeing my Soul and my TF’s Soul go into the Merkabah together. Feeling into that image and Knowing that there are no blocks and no obstacles to Union when me and my TF are Heart to Heart and Soul to Soul. Ask The High Beings for all blocks and obstacles that are getting in the way of Sacred Physical Union to be dissolved and transformed.

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    • Mea Culpa says:

      – Can’t Remember & Lucy,

      With regard to your twin taking on the appearance of other people, I have not experienced that with my twin. Sometimes, he does appear in precognitive dreams where his hair has grown some, which I assume has something to do with the future. However, I do have frequent dreams where my soon to be ex husband takes on the appearance of my past lovers. Although, I am aware it is him. I had a dream just two evenings ago where he (my ex) appeared as my first love. I often wonder if his consistent change in appearance in my dreams has something to do with karmic partners. My husband is definitely karmic in nature. Our marriage was nothing but one nightmare after another. Now that it is nearing the end, we are getting along. I have forgiven him and actually feel a tremendous amount of sorrow in my heart for him. He seems to be so lost and out of touch with reality. I agonize over the possibility that my erratic behavior had something to do with his psychological demise; not that I am in any better place myself. I feel utterly lost also. I do not know who in the hell I am anymore. I cannot imagine that I would have consciously chosen any of this twin flame bs. After my twin came into my life my husband eventually fell to the wayside. It has completely turned my life upside down and my husband was keenly aware of this connection. It is strange that he could sense the connection but my twin could not.

      Frankly, I’m so sick of the whole situation, I wish I could just cease to exist. I have never been in such a helpless state. No one has ever captivated my heart like this and I honestly do not know what in the hell I am supposed to do now. I have never been vulnerable like this. It makes me utterly sick with myself to feel this consumed with love for another human being, that as far as I know could care less if I dropped off the face of the earth. I have not seen him in what seems like an eternity and yet, my love for him only grows exponentially with each passing hour. The entire situation has to be some kind of horrible curse. I sit here now, after totally fucking my marriage, just throwing my middle finger up to everything that had mattered to me, and then wondering why I find myself shocked over the shitty outcome. Although, I was never physically unfaithful to my spouse, I feel like I betrayed him for falling hopelessly in love with another man. My karmic debt must be off the fucking Richter scale. There is a quote from Dante’s The Divine Comedy: Inferno, that sums up my state of being, “In the middle of the journey of my life, I came to myself, in a dark wood, where the direct way was lost…”

      If I could give anyone one piece of advise it would be to stop the madness as soon as you hear or read the phrase, “Twin Flames”. I’m too far gone, but maybe others can save themselves from the the never-ending agony. I had never even heard of this, until I stupidly googled what the hell I had just experienced. There it was in big bold letters. As soon as I read those words I was screwed… What a fucking mistake! Stop yourself at all costs! I ushered in my own ruin. If you care anything about having a normal existence, don’t go there. You will be left naked like an infant. Imagine telling a shrink this stuff. I know better, I was in the medical field years ago and I would have probably suggested an involuntary commitment of such a person. Just look around online and you will see how many souls are entrapped in this. I’ve never seen anything like it. One needs to seriously consider the possibility that it is just a matter of unrequited love, albeit, a totally severe case, where we may in the end, find ourselves in a white room in a straight jacket. For God’s sake, don’t indulge in it. If you open that door, you won’t be able to close it. Supernatural hoo hoo stuff will begin to occur and it won’t cease. In fact, just a couple of weekends ago, some intuitive arrived on the scene, who was a family member of one of my neighbors. The guy did a damn reading on me when I was not even present, he was with another friend of mine and told them there was some extraordinarily deep connection between someone who was in another country and myself. He knew the specific country. The man had no knowledge of this situation and he didn’t even know how to describe what he was seeing. The next day, when I finally met this supposed intuitive he attempted to view my “aura” and said, “I see something very rare with you, two hearts and two silhouettes.” Then he began going on about the connection between the man who I believe is my twin and myself. Even if you try to ignore the connection, it will find you, haunt you to no end. There is no damn escape from it. It is something that is more powerful than us and you will be left helpless. I know I sound jaded but if you don’t wish to have yourself gutted, run like hell from this soul connection. If you don’t, you will, whether you wish to or not, experience what it means to truly love another unconditionally. You will be left raw and bleeding, wondering if this is a divine love or a divine curse.

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      • myster8nigma says:

        I don’t know that running does much but prolong a Twin Flame situation. I remember feeling as you describe for a few years, going through divorce, twin flame push and pull, eventual separation as she returned to her husband/got pregnant. I chose to heal at all costs, surrender, and let her go be who she needed to be. This has proven to be the most peace I’ve had during the entire journey. But it’s a daily choice. Sometimes I wake up back at square one and just start all over facing a new or recurring experience. The two main things that have helped are writing it out first thing when I wake up and meditating/praying right afterwards. Then I just take each day as it happens, some worse than others, but the overall trajectory has been much better. Other things that have helped are stretching/exercise, walking/sitting in nature, walking barefoot, eating better, drinking less, writing much more, turning off the television. Generally living smaller but with more appreciation and purpose for little (and free) things. Getting in tune with who I once was and am, once again, becoming. It’s a step by step process. Kick out all thoughts of the future and past and focus solely on what is given to you in the present. Forgive me if these thoughts are unwelcome, I only mean to help.

        Be Blessed,
        8

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      • Lucy says:

        I am not sure where you are at at this time. You sound stuck in drama in this message above. Let go of the mind games and focus on your Heart and Soul. Focus inward instead of outward. It seems you are adding very 3d/ego adjectives to your experience. I don’t mean to criticize; I mean to make observations. Keep going inward instead of outward.

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      • Patricia says:

        Been going through the same thing for about 5 years, also thinking the same as you since I too had never heard of twinflames until I googled what the hell I was experiencing! I too feel that had I not perhaps I wouldn’t have remained and become so much more absorbed, so to say. 🙄

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      • Mea Culpa says:

        Patricia,

        Yes, it’s nice to know that someone can relate, without judging. We each walk our own path, at our own rate, alone. Maybe I’m not as enlightened as others regarding this topic, but that’s okay. We each have to cope in the best way we see fit at the time.

        I have come to a better understanding regarding this relationship and its purpose, at least in my life. All twins are not necessarily meant to reunite. Sometimes, one enters your life for only a chapter, and while it is extremely difficult to deny my love for him and desire to be with him, it has proven fruitless to remain paralyzed in that frame of mind. I actively chose to surrender the relationship, and in doing so, my life has changed significantly for the better. I have met a wonderful soul and fallen deeply in love. I would have never imagined even the possibility that this could occur again. I thought that my twin was it for me, would not consider the possibility of feeling that depth of love for another, and yet it is possible, different, but still possible. I have wondered if the person I believed was my twin was instead a catalyst for this new relationship. I choose not to refer to him as a false twin, because of the negative connotations I associate with that. However, the synchronistic events, telepathy, cohesion between mind, body, spirit, and soul, have never been this profound, not even with the person I believed was my twin. The first time my lips met his, my crown chakra felt like it was going to explode. We relate with one another on such a deep level that I just cannot deny what is happening and we are both very open regarding this. He is 20 years my senior, has had a very successful career, unlike me, obtained his Phd and has chosen to lead a life of giving back to society. He brings out the best in me, believes in me, treats me as if I am a treasure. I have never felt the respect from another man as I do him.

        The man who I believed was my twin, could care less about me, always judgmental and impatient. He never conveyed any compassion towards me whatsoever. Even if he irritated me, I never once, felt hatred for him or a lack of respect. I adored him. My love for him nearly broke me. I was broken, maybe that is what it took for me to realize my own self worth. He wishes no contact with me, and at some point one has to come to the realization that something is wrong with the picture. I had to let it go. See it for what it was and move on.

        I believe this is truly what the twin flame relationship is about. To learn, grow, love unconditionally and surrender. I have surrendered, and with that has come a peace that is undeniable and I can see with much more clarity now.

        I hope that all will be well with you. I will keep you in my prayers, for I know all to well what you speak of. We are never given any guarantees, but there is a quote that I would like to share with you… “Embrace uncertainty. Some of the most beautiful chapters in our lives won’t have a title until much later.” -Bob Goff

        The meeting of my twin was but a chapter, a magnificent one that had its ending, yet will forever remain with me. I would not trade my time with him for anything, for through him I have learned the true meaning of love.

        Like

      • Lucy says:

        Sounds like the previous relationship was just that…as I perceive it TF’s are not relationships as we know it in 3d. TF’s ARE Unions. The previous person WAS a catalyst period.

        Like

    • Female runner says:

      My situation mirrors yours in a few ways. I’m the female runner, though. I’m 12 years older and this connection hit us like a lightening bolt in 2011. We’re both happily married to our best friends and have young children. I would never consider leaving my family. Never. Ever. He feels the same, I assume, though we never speak about it. We’re actually related thru marriage though, mercifully, we live in different states. I am the one to do the blocking when the intensity of our connection distracts me to the point that I find myself becoming increasingly withdrawn from my wonderful life. It’s just so strange. I’m in my 40s and he’s in his 30s, so of course I find him attractive, but I don’t pine for a physical relationship with him. I’m happy with our *unique* connection (very telepathic). The bliss created is very hard to describe; it’s an dopamine type of thing that happens in my brain, sometimes causing me to cry uncontrollably. It’s much more powerful than sex. It is exhausting, though, and eventually I need space. I block him in every way possible for a few weeks or months (I’ve run a dozen or so times in the 5 years) and feel very content in my life, then my mind starts wandering back…is he still there?? Remarkably, he’s always still willing to pick back up. No need to feel sorry for him, though. He’s actually got a huge life. Incredible success at a very young age. He’s considered an expert in his field. In contrast, I’m a stay-at-home mom. Evolved people would know that our success is the same since we’re both in our dream jobs, I only pointed out the differences to show that chasers don’t have a lack of personal power in their lives. I don’t know why he chases. He’s a family man and is not a womanizer. I don’t run to control him, I run to control me. To answer your question about lust, I think you’re right when it comes to karmic relationships, but I’m not sure that it applies to TF runners and chasers. If lust controls who chases, it’s not a TF connection IMO.

      Like

      • Female runner says:

        After reflecting a bit more, I have a couple of comments to add. Your observation about male chasers and lust may apply in my case. I want to be 100% honest with myself and I would love for this TF thing to go away. I am not attached to the idea of it and had never even heard of TFs until a year into the push-pull experience. My twin is a chaser-male and we haven’t been physical at all. I cannot say for sure that it’s not his intention. Our case seems to be typical in that we have strong telepathy and remarkable coincidences, but we don’t discuss the TF topic at all. The only evidence I have is the 5 year obsession on both sides (which for me is not sexual). It’s affected both of our lives and marriages.

        Like

    • Michelle says:

      “Is it possible for a woman to feel the depth of love for a man she has not slept with ? Of all I’ve read the chaser woman has been intimate, whilst the chaser man hasn’t”

      I believe I found my TF, or should i say … he found me…
      I think he is running right now 😦
      We were not intimate (he was so very respectful!), but we did spend two nights together…. He slept, i was awake both times as i had such a rush of energy from being near him.. it took a week to wear off… I have not seen him in two months as he lives far away, and it has been a while since we messaged, so i am getting nervous that he is running – we do not speak on phone as i am hearing impaired….

      I miss him terribly right now 😦

      Like

    • Trinity says:

      Yes, females can love a man whom they have never slept with. My twin and I have only hugged and it was one time – yet. A lot of your questions regarding lust and love can be answered from a general two perspectives: ego or spirit.
      I too doubt this connection. I too am absolutely shit-faced terrified that I’m making this up and this is some sick and twisted way for me to cope with my childhood trauma.
      Yet.
      This post….if I didn’t know better I would’ve sworn HE wrote it.
      And your comment.
      And everyone elses comments.
      Not everything is spot-on but when it is spot-on I kind of feel nauseated from how freaked out I am haha.

      I have a question for you: let’s say your TF disappeared one day and blocked you on Facebook and you haven’t heard or seen from her in a year. If she messaged you to explain why she did it – would you want that?

      Like

      • Can't remember says:

        Yes, I would want that very much ..if you are on his mind with the same intensity as she is always with me then yes , if that is what is pressing on you and you’re brace enough to find answers that only he can answer , it’s a strange thing this phenomenon , we all have the same symptoms and one of those is the separation , it seems the separation , the silence is integral to the experience , and the silence is what drives us at some point inside, takes us eventually beyond the bouts of anger, and into that ever present mushy zoned out love zone. I return to my thought that it surely cannot be two sided and seeing I’m the one with the problem it’s best to stay away and deal with it , and not to burden her with it. But then the feelings come out of the blue, like a wave unexpected and I can’t help to think is she feeling this too

        Like

      • Crystal says:

        I reached out to mine (still not knowing of what a twin flame even was at this point) and it was magical for a few weeks. The pain then boiled up for him and he was unable to control it. I know that he loves me and that we will be able to get through this but for the time being he has been “running” from me for weeks on end. At first, I felt guilt for coming back into his life and causing this new turmoil for him. I was the runner before and now I feel like the roles have reversed. I have been reading as much as I can on twin flames trying to find some peace in all of this! I struggle a lot with the “letting go” aspect. I feel as though we are in this power struggle now. I have abandonment issues that prevent me from allowing me to trust that no matter what he will love me unconditionally and have my back. While I feel him hesitating to let me have any “control” over his emotions and how this is going to play out in the future. I’m not sure if he is awakened at this point or not. The pain in his eyes about kills me but I still find myself angry about his inability to let me back in. Knowing what the other side of this push/pull looks like is both a blessing and a curse. I know the pain that I have caused. In a lot of ways that is my driving force to fix the broken parts of me! I brings with it a lot of guilt and shame though.

        Like

  7. Ayanda says:

    I met my twin in October 2013 & we’ve never slept together. It’s not that we didn’t want to. I guess it just wasn’t meant to happen then. This is now our second separation and we haven’t seen each other for a little over a year. I had been deeply frustrated for a long time about this whole separation thing but I seem to be doing better now. I text him from time to time to let him know how I’m doing but I hardly ever get a response. & id rather take silence than have him be defensive. I love this man deeply and since we met I haven’t been able to be with anyone else really. & I even lost all interest in my then boyfriend. This goes to show that love isn’t dependent on anything. It’s either one loves or they’re indifferent, there’s no in between. So ure not doing either of u a favour by blocking ur twin. She has nothing to do with ur pain-trust me. I learnt that the hard way. You have to take responsibility for urself and face ur demons otherwise the pain will never go away.

    Like

  8. myster8nigma says:

    Thank you for this post. It is a masterpiece and I reread it often. The Separation/Surrender of Twins is the most difficult part of the journey and the most difficult to understand, but words like this help immensely. I think the real Self work begins after Physical Separation.

    Be Blessed…

    8

    Like

  9. Lucy says:

    You sound in~raged…I have gone through (and it might happen again) push pull, screaming crying, physical separation, he living with another woman for a few months, no contact, no calls, et al….he now is so very attentive, inclusive, in contact, communicative, caring, loving. It is my sense from all of MY inner processes the results are now showing up. I Am Gratefull.

    Like

  10. Someone says:

    Hi there! Thank you for your interesting article!
    I’m writing here, because I don’t have anyone around me to talk about it, most people I know would laugh it off.
    I’m 30 years old and I met my twin 6 years ago.
    She was my best friend’s girlfriend at the time (an obvious no go), but he didn’t take her seriously (he cheated on her a couple of months later). I was in a relationship too. I remember the shock, when we both saw eachother for the first time (a thing we already talked about).
    I didn’t understand it at the time. I had a girlfriend and thought I was merely fascinated by another woman and that was it. My TF thought like that too.
    When my best friend cheated on her I was the shoulder for her to cry it over. After some time she had a new relationship (with an emotional abuser) and I had to watch it and the pain was excruciating. I felt it with her all along. At the same time I thought I had no chance with her (she was so into this person) and I felt like I had to honour my compromise with my gf/fiancée at the time.
    We did things together (both couples) and she told me back in the days that she was so jealous of the way I was so careful and loving with my gf. That she wished she was the girl with me, that she wished her partner would be more like me (they were living together at this point and I was engaged). And I said nothing. I felt a million things and all I said was “I’m so sorry, you deserve so much better. He thinks you’re just a girl, but you are an entire universe”. Maybe I should have left my ex and take her? Maybe I failed with my timing? Maybe we needed to learn those lessons? 😦
    This abusive relationship destroyed her. She had it all good for her, now she’s a total mess, abused of substances and etc. I’ve been in an abusive relationship too (3 years too, just like her), it was in fact my first relationship, I understand her pain.
    My ex-gf cheated on me and I broke up. Just two months before, my TF broke up with her partner, because she couldn’t take the emotional abuse anymore. We both been single for almost two years now.
    She is still healing. She still has trust issues.
    She’s still struggling with depression and addictions.
    I’m 5 years older and I’ve been through the exact same thing she’s going through right now when I was her age.
    We started talking a lot to eachother, when we both got single. I thought this time around we would come together. She told me things like that she could sense when something was wrong with me and I swear I do it too. Whenever I’m really upset she contacts me and I feel an urge to talk to her sometimes and that’s when she needs me the most. We only get closer, spiritually speaking.
    But as I told her about my feelings, she told me she feels the same, but couldn’t take it. That she doesn’t have the strength for a relationship right now. That she loves me so much that it hurts. And that I have it all figured out now, but she isn’t ready yet.
    She said she’s definitely staying single and I said I don’t want anybody else, only her. (That’s why we are both still single – we’re both attractive and many people flirt with us).
    The problem is: she’s a runner, the more I try, the more she runs. When I give her space, she contacts me. But we talk as friends. Sometimes we hold eachother. Sometimes we kiss. Then she backs off. I want to leave it alone and wait, because I think she needs to sort it all out and then it will be the right time for us. At the same time I know she needs me and I’m here for her when she needs me. But at the same time it’s hurting me to the point that I can’t sleep anymore, it’s getting difficult to concentrate, my academic life is getting harder because I can’t concentrate and I’m not as good as I used to be in my job. It’s like this unresolved thing, not having her is completely destroying me. I can’t take the pain. It’s immense!
    Analysing our lives I see we walked the exact same path, like parallel lines (never meeting) until we met and I watched her making the same poor choices I made in the past and I couldn’t stop her from doing it. Watching her is like watching me when I was younger.
    She told me that it feels like I should be her teacher. But honestly she teaches me a lot too. She made me a kind and loving person. We grew so much through eachother.
    It’s weird because it’s not like the regular crush. Usually I get to know a woman, we flirt and 2 months later she’s my gf. But with her it is extremely complicated and I don’t feel like giving up. She could literally do anything to me and I’d still love her.
    So should I expose it to her how much it hurts? Should I take the pain and wait like I’m doing? Should I get away completely?
    I can’t see straight because the pain is too heavy to take.
    I’m not in love with her. It’s more than that. I know she is my TF.
    My friends say she’s playing with me and that I shouldn’t help her, so that she would miss me. But I think this is the ego path. My soul tells me to stay here for her whenever she needs me. To wait. To be loyal. To trust the universe and it’s timing. And that’s what I’m doing right now.

    Like

    • Lucy says:

      Remember the story is all 3d and TF’s are connected and living in 5d eternally. Focus on Love. Focus on Heart to Heart and Soul to Soul. The more Love/Heart/Soul you Focus on the more you must Know that that is what is helping you and your TF AllWays. That is what will get you (and your TF) through all of what you are experiencing on the 3d level. Share words of depth little at a time. It’s like feeding a baby small spoonfuls of food. In that same way choose from your intuition when, where, what, how you will share words of depth of feelings. Love. Love. Love. Compassion and Forgiveness for your Self and so for your TF.

      Like

  11. Peaceout says:

    I feel a lot of sympathy for anyone having to go through this, as I am going through pretty much the same thing. Some days are better than others, at times it feels really hard to live without being with my twin. He is married and just had another child, so I feel pretty much like there is no hope of us every being together. I have no idea if he is happy or not? My marriage is in shambles and we are separated. I did not have a physical relationship with my twin, a lot of our communication has been telepathic and mostly non-verbal. This whole twin thing is a very frustrating experience because it completely changes your life, your view of other people, and view of yourself. This experience wakes you up and you see the world and people a lot clearer. I think it was more difficult a few years ago when it started, but maybe I am just more used to the pain. I think just surviving this whole thing is the most important thing you can do, because it is a very intense test that puts you through hell. Pray/meditate/ask God constantly for guidance and protection, doing it several times a day has been very helpful. Try to keep busy, otherwise you will dwell and obsess too much over them (at least I have been).

    I believe we planned to meet our twin before incarnating to earth. I had a very vivid and beautiful dream a long time ago that I was in heaven. A man was standing before me asking me if I would be all right, and I said yes, I’ll be fine. Then I had this feeling of descending/separating from heaven and I woke up. It was a very intense dream and 30 years later I still remember it very clearly. There was so much compassion and love from this person that I thought it must have been an angel asking me if I would be okay before I incarnated, but lately I have come to believe it was my twin asking me if I would be okay before he incarnated, because he had been watching over me and helping me. At any rate, your twin loves you totally and completely. If they are not showing it in this incarnation, it could be any number of reasons: you are not ready, he/she is not ready, past life trauma, present life trauma, Karma where you were bad to them in a past life, or they were bad to you in a past life and you have to learn to break it off and move on, relationship entanglements, etc.. We all want to be with the person we love the most in this world. However, I am not sure if it matters if you and your twin are together, because the whole purpose of meeting is for spiritual growth. You might never be together in this life. It is really hard to not blame them for your lack of unhappiness and fulfillment, but remember that true happiness and satisfaction with your life can only come from within, no one else can give that gift to you. If you can’t be with anyone else right now, so be it. Focus on your own happiness and spiritual growth. Everything in life happens for a reason, even if we don’t know at the time what it is. Stay focused on your spiritual path, life is very short and we are essentially here to learn how to give and receive love. God is love, pure love, and the only path that is truly worth pursuing. Your twin flame wakes you up to the possibility that such love can exist, and the amazing amount of love that we feel for our twin is what God feels for us. It is our connection with God that we long for. The more you connect with God, the more you realize that you are always connected, not just your twin, but with every living person here on this planet. Anyway, pretty zen experience. And not at all easy.

    Like

    • Lucy says:

      The Divine Humor/Irony in this is that when and the more you focus on your Self/Soul Life the more your TF focuses on his/her Self/Soul Life and so will eventually lead you and your TF to each other whether it is this life or another. In my experience the more intently focused I Am on my Soul’s growth the more streamlined and focused is the rendezvous/union with my TF.

      Like

  12. Lea says:

    Thank you for this article! 6 years I have been going through the push/pull phase with my tf. He pushed me away in the beginning and I didn’t understand back then what was going on, just felt hurt and so confused that he did that. I let him be and moved on, but it didn’t work and since then nobody has even come close to him and he has said the exact same about me. We have been in and out of each of others lives ever since. Not in a relationship phase but as friends and we have slept together here and there as we can’t seem to keep away from each other and when we seem to get close to the relationship thing he backs off or we argue and it falls apart but we yet remain friends. I know we both have healing to go through.We have talked about marriage, told each other we love each other so much and it’s like when we are together everything is on a whole different level. I can’t describe it. It’s just frustrating and hurts because I love him so much.

    Like

    • Lucy says:

      I have experienced so so so very much help and clearing of 3d “issues” and have been experiencing Union with my TF albeit still filled with “stuff”. Focusing on the Knowing in 5d and seeing that the 3d is a “play” that is being acted out–is so very important. It all seems so inane from the 5d point of view. But we all have stuff to work out so that we can Unite free of the layers of stuff and BE THE LOVE that we Are. Jill & Remi have been extremely helpful with the clearing of 3d stuff: http://events.instantteleseminar.com/?eventid=71356917. I do the Daily Clearing every day. And: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9c5Fso7JWwY. Check them out. It is so very important to pay attention to our Heart and Soul Connection to our TF and to know that the 3d stuff is working itself out towards Union.

      Like

      • Lea says:

        Thank you for these Lucy. I hope they help me in some way. Currently separated completely from my tf, we’re not even talking at the moment and this time it feels so much worse than all the others. Don’t know why!? Told him I hated him last night and I feel even worse in myself for doing that! 😦 Just have to have faith that it will all work itself out when it’s meant to. Xx

        Like

  13. Hannah says:

    Thank you for having this site. I too have a TF that is 18 yrs younger than me and he has a lot of growing up to do. I remain more of like his guide and he knows I am his biggest cheerleader and want him to succeed. He values me and my opinions but as far as sexual relationship I am not sure where he stands as he sends me mixed messages. I am married with a teen age son and he is single and dating women. He is currently dating a girl he says is similar to me but truly she is not as I have told him she is not me.

    I have accepted the fact that we prob wont be togethet in this lifetime as I love my family and he has his own path of take. I will always love and cherish whatever time we get to spend together, limited as they may be. All I really want is for him to succeed in his career, be a good person and find someone who will love him unconditionally as he has a lot of issues. I find that now that we have met he will never find the love and connection we have with another woman. He has not admitted that he believes on tf or even soulmates and he rejected thay idea as ridiculous. In my heart I know that he believes it is true. I am connected to him whether we arw together or apart. I can sense him and feel him. I would want to be sexually connected to him but me being married and he respects my status and my relationship so much that he will not cross that line. We get by with the occassional touching and flirting here and there.

    I realize how hard it is not to be with you tf. I have to accept it that in this lifetime we are not meant to be together. Perhaps in the next one we will meet again.

    Like

  14. Your story has just changed my life in ways indescribable through words. Thank you so much for sharing

    Like

  15. Amar says:

    Hello I’m male 🙂 and 25, my twin flame is female and 32.

    Interesting article and thank you, however my twin flame decided to get married and create a family with someone else and it’s now been over six years. My twin also told people that even if she was single…. she would never go out with me 😦 She’s polish and strictly a devout Christian… and although I’m english, my parents originate from Mauritius.

    She also said she loves her boyfriend (at the time – now husband) and WILL be with him forever… she’s said quite a few things over the many months to hurt me…. and months and months later the day I found out she was pregnant it really hurt me so bad, that my body had an almost panic attack. I took the next day off work sick, and since then she’s continued to ignore me and keep away from me, as she said to one girl that she does her best to keep away from me.

    There is hundreds of memories I have from this person from 2010-2012 and I’ve spent over £3,200 on psychic readings constantly asking when she will break up, how she feels for me etc…

    But I decided in 2014 that even if she does come back, I will never be the one to be with her, because of the fact she hurt me, said many nasty words, totally ignored me, and even married someone else and created a baby with them.

    I’ve read in a couple of articles that when the twin flame runner finally wakes up, the chaser twin can sometimes be the one to reject the runner due to the absolute damage caused and time taken to eventually having moved on…..and in my case the fact that in spite of our connection, she chose someone else and married them.

    I was the kind sweet one, gentle and even years ago I would make soft efforts with my twin and not to bother her too many times. I was fully aware and conscious to be distant but thoughtful.

    I remember the days when I heard she kept complaining about me, I would become really sad, like I was told about a loss. I would always be kind to her, coming to help her out in her department of work being thoughtful and generous. I was never needy or high strung, I remained well calm and easy going 🙂 but I’ve been sad so many times because she kept acting so cold, and even lied to me a couple of times, getting angry and full of ego. She also told other girls that I liked her etc, and one day she touched me arm and squeezed it and sort of teased me, but she never told any other girl about this.

    Apparently from the psychic readings, she will REGRET what’s happened, and to a degree she already has, only in March she made some tiny effort (four years later) to reach out and I kept completely withdrawn. I have noticed after a few weeks later after that, she kept on looking at me.

    I’ve already written up a 50 page document to give to her which covers everything from the very beginning of time to when I first saw her in June 2010, to today. So she will truly see I had the very deepest feelings of love for her, and I will also print off the psychic reading receipts also totalling £3,200, just to show her how sad and empty I have felt over the years in deliberately having been pushed away.

    SO WHEN SHE FINALLY DIVORCES, AND DOES TRULY COMES BACK, what happens from her perspective when she sees I really won’t want anything to do with her?

    3 very highly rated psychics that have received an average rating of 4.98 over 10,000 reviews each have said, although she will try to move on she will reflect back and think on her mistakes. But NONE of them have said that she will really try to get back and chase me or anything like that.

    I feel happy to forgive her 🙂 like I don’t blame her, I simply understand that she didn’t and never wanted me, as if I can cry now 🙂 but I know deep down in myself that out of respect for myself I will NEVER EVER see her or date her, or anything like that, because there were so many sad and very hurtful memories.

    Although I’m male, I have grown a pair of balls and can stand up for myself in almost any situation, but with her I feel so mellow and soft that it’s so puppyish, but I know 1000% that I will never ever reunite with her even if she tries to with me, which is what I was told will happen slowly. I will just be kind and explain about the effect the years have had in damage etc, and the fact that I want to be alone, and most definitely alone for life. Even my astrology chart for 22nd october, having been alive for 25 years, says that I’am the most loneliest soul of the 365 day astrological mark. My exact birthday matches with someone who loves probably more deeper than most, because of the degree of scorpio mixed in with 22nd joint. Adding the fact i’m apparently doomed for heartbreak (very true) I used to spend 16 hours a day for months thinking about her in feeling, also I have almost no friends, and see very few people. So again there was/is no distraction to take her away from my mind.

    So can anyone help me and tell me what will happen after that? After I reject her when she tries.

    Thank you

    Like

    • Lucy says:

      In my experience and my perception the more you reject the more your tf will. The more you Be Love the more she will. Like that. Takes Time and Patience and Compassion and Forgiveness and Love*. That is what tfs are here on this planet to Be* and it’s certainly a ripple effect with your tf and others around you and globally.

      Like

      • Amar says:

        Hi lucy!

        Thank you for your comment, I would be very happy to reject my twin flame, but to be kind also, I mean this from pure love. I won’t be full of ego or remain childish, and silly. I do totally forgive my twin flame 🙂 but I won’t ever make an effort to reach out to her, and I will forever keep away because the damage she caused me is the worst I’ve ever experienced/heard from twin flame behaviour.

        So If I reject her, she will reject me also by way of not approaching me then that’s brilliant.. but the catch is, and I can see this happening. If I’m really happy about other stuff going on in my life I can bet a million dollars she will come back unexpectedly.

        Where as if I’m angry/distant she won’t come back, but yet I want to be happy like I can sometimes be.

        Like

      • Ayanda says:

        Saying that u want to reject ur twin is not a sign of love. It’s going to keep u very unhappy no matter how successful u are in other areas of life. At the end of the day love is all that matters.

        Like

      • Amar says:

        Thank you Ayanda and your right.

        Although i feel quite ok without my twin, i know it will always be sad because for all these 6 years, I’ve missed her so badly, and when I let myself spill on with the thoughts, I end up feeling angry and sad at the same time.

        I will reject because I was behaving so kindly, and gently to my twin years ago, acting with complete unconditional love. I even forgive my twin and have thought of suicide but I cant be man enough to just do it. Instead I throw angry rages.

        She didn’t know and still doesn’t know what I found out because she wanted to pretend to others that she didn’t like me etc, and knowing she took time out to marry someone else and create a family with them 😦 despite of our connection and how patient I was…. 1 day is very hard to get through when you miss your twin all the time but try 6 years…. no one will ever understand know how I feel. Normally a twin is already in a relationship when you meet them, but the fact she spread it into marriage and now a family, I would rather die than be back with her and I’am happy to die anytime, I feel very old in this life even though I look young and people keep saying how young I am (25 years old).

        Even if I try to accept my twin back which I’ve thought of, I know deep inside I will never be ABLE to get over the sadness and heartache I felt when she said to someone else that even if she was single she would never be my girlfriend, and all the other hurtful things I heard, or how rude she was etc. Plus the long time away and marriage and baby. I KNOW I will never be able to move on from it, again no one can understand how sad it was, especially since it went on for so long and long and long, again too much.

        I have read that some twin flames MAY NEVER come together, and that it does’t work out because the original chaser (ME) is too much affected by what happened and the RUNNER instead regrets running as they’ve GROWN up and matured from their old ways.

        I’ve had quite a few psychics tell me she will regret it bigtime when she does come back, and well that’s life.

        Like

      • Ayanda says:

        Trust me I know how crazy it all is..But intending to hurt her back is only going to end up hurting u. Her true purpose is helping u heal and mature.How sad would it be to give up on yourself like that! Just keep loving, stop the madness.

        Like

      • Lucy says:

        I agree with Ayanda. It seems to me you and she are playing mind games–ego. I have been through and still go through hurtful mind/ego games with my tf. This is the stuff tfs are meant to clear here on earth. Yes, she would probably reach out to you if you were “happy”. What is true happiness? For me it is Being Love. I cannot Be Love in the midst of ego/mind games.

        Liked by 1 person

  16. Lucy says:

    Let me correct my Self I can practice Being Love in the midst of ego/mind games and Be Love;
    but if I am caught up in actually acting out the ego/mind games I am not Being Love, truly.

    Like

  17. Lucy says:

    There are some great clearing tools and meditation tools for helping our Selves Be Present and Be Love. Jill & Remi and/or Cassady Cayne online.

    Like

  18. Amar says:

    Thank You Lucy and Ayanda

    It’s not that I’m trying to hurt her back at all, I forgive her, and I wouldn’t want to know she’s in pain, and it’s not that I’m playing a game either….. 😦

    All I want is for her to come back softly and then I can prove to her by showing attached to a document proof I spent £3200+ on ‘her’ throughout the 6 years whilst she tried to settle with someone she claimed she wanted to be with forever… and that the 50 page document I typed up shows just how much detail I went to and kept in from her covering the whole 6 years. I never once told I liked her, or anything because I kept being so gentle and aware to respect her etc. But it was obvious I liked her etc. She also kept blurting to people I liked her etc, and am annoying because I keep coming to see her even though I only came few times.

    But I’m sorry much as anyone tries to convince me, or time passing in itself. I cannot be with the person who caused all of this, and again she doesn’t even know what I know on all the things she said about me etc. So when I bring this up she will feel bad in the fact I knew so long ago and lived with it. It’s not just that it’s the fact she tried to hurt me so many times and deliberately, I dont give a sh*t what this twin flame stuff says about a twin not deliberately wanting to hurt you. I know now she didn’t mean to as she regrets it, but back then she did…

    I would wish my twin well after that, and I am growing and will grow away from her. I think spirit and the universe will allow that distance apart for life, from the fact I would have forgiven her. 🙂 so there’s that understanding and compassion there.

    I know what I’m saying will work, when you have 6 years of being alone, you come to make a good decision for the absolute future, I know it may appear sad but the only way I can move on and forward, as long as I’ve forgiven her my work is done, and it would take a lot to forgive someone who did what she did. But no way would I then jump into a friendship/relationship with her ever. In life there are consequences and you have to be accountable for them based on the decisions you make/made in the past. She made too many bad ones, and I forgive that 😦 but I can move forward the moment I forgive her face to face and explain. 🙂

    Like

    • Lucy says:

      I perceive you and your behavior so differently than you. So much up in your head and caught up in the 3d. You and your tf have your lessons to learn. I wish you and your tf Peace.

      Like

      • Amar says:

        Thank you Lucy and Ayanda, It’s not so much is caught up in my head, it’s just I know if i tried to re-connect with my twin flame it would never work out, because there were too many bad memories over and over and over, and over time if left untreated and neglected it does cause damage long term. Yes I keep saying Lucy if you would hear me out I do forgive my twin 🙂 but that’s my work done.

        I have read so many times that just because you have a twin flame in this life and you both know each other doesn’t mean you will be together whatever the supposed sacred bond is.

        Yes and that’s never in this life. I don’t know anything about the last life or the apparent next. But then I’ve read few times that you only meet your twin in your last life whatever bull that is about.

        But no I’m waiting to forgive her face to face and hand over the document and stuff, explain and thats it 🙂 i’m forever free and happy 😀 because we choose our own happiness our other twin cannot make us happy blah blah blah, so once i’ve finally released the 6 years of hidden truths i can be free 🙂 and at peace.

        But I feel at peace now already in some ways.

        Like

    • Ayanda says:

      Honestly speaking spirit doesn’t care what either of you did/have intentions of doing; as twins you’re bound for life! & that’s just something that you’ll have to accept. You need to forgive all and learn to live without her physical presence yet remain loving and embracing towards her and the eternal love that binds you. Exclaiming “never” is a condition that will be broken down for sure.. basically, will power doesn’t work when it comes to connection, otherwise nobody would be in physical union as most of us would rather die than deal with the death of preconceived ideas and the excruciating pain that accompanies having to face and transmute all that. You can go ahead and do what you feel needs to be done for your own peace of mind, afterall all roads lead back to LOVE.. back home to YOURSELF…back to GOD!

      Like

  19. France Belleau says:

    Thank you for the text. My TF and I are highschool lovers. We were together for some months the he ran. Blamed me for not holding him back. He cut all contact with me. It was too painful.
    After this, we both lived with mistreatment, abusive relationships for 10 years.

    Once he came back. It was complicated. Up.and downs. We both pushed each other to the edge. He rejected me. I rejected him. He was telling me he could not ove anymore. He did not feel emotions. But all I was seeing were acts of love from him.
    He ran again… moved out and he is unhappy. He hides in his pride. His work…

    I am there for him. He knows what I feel. Yet he still tells me he is incapable of love. This hurts me.so much. I am working on myself ans I have never been this happy with me but I miss his presence terribly. His speech is so incoherent. One minute he admits that I am a golden soul and he agrees he loves me. The next he wants to move to Europe and says only his work make him happy. That he cannot love.

    It feels I am making this up. Feels like he is right and I am wrong to think he is my TF. I feel like we will never be together because he will keep running. But we have this… connection… I am sad inside. But every other day I let him know that he is wonderful… and that I hope for the best to him. Is this pushing him away?

    Thank you for the text and everything.

    Like

    • Lucy says:

      Being Love, Heart, Soul…is not pushing away.

      Like

      • Xan says:

        You are right Lucy. I was just afraid when I did. He still does push me away. I do not think I was wrong and yet I doubt. Although this has taught me to love myself… among the heart break of him leaving.

        Like

      • Lucy says:

        This TF Path and Purpose is one of Being Love Personified in the face of what “looks” like rejection and pushing away. For the last 4 1/2 years (since we connected) my experience has been one of Being the Love I Am no matter what and the fruit has been sweet as far as not only my TF’s response but the people around me–friends, co-workers, et al… As it is now, my TF wants me around albeit in the depths of his addictive behaviors. It doesn’t look like the image I have eternally in my view but I am willing to Be with him no matter what. This is to say not putting up with “abusive” behavior towards me but Being willing to Be with him and Bring to the Table what I Personify—Love, Light, Compassion, Forgiveness, Acceptance, Patience. It is a daily practice and moment to moment.

        Like

      • Xan says:

        Hi Lucy. Well you are right. He was not my TF. We seemed to have this connection but I believe he was manipulating me all along. When we were supposed to see each other after 1 month he ignored me and all my texts and calls. When I told him it was hurtful, he blew a fuse about how much of a clingy bitch I was (i never was) and cut me out. I feel I was blind all along…
        I hope and wish to everyone that they end up connecting with their TF and never have to go through being played as if this was it.

        Like

      • Lucy says:

        I am not clear about your comment “Well you are right” directed towards me. How or what in my comment brings that up for you. I see my comment as an expression of my experience not really pointing out or to what is right or wrong in your situation. Thanks.

        Like

      • Xan says:

        About the “Being Love, Heart, Soul…is not pushing away” Comment, this was right. That was what i meant

        Like

      • Lucy says:

        Okay, got it 🙂

        Like

  20. Xan says:

    Thank you for the text. My TF and I are highschool lovers. We were together for some months the he ran. Blamed me for not holding him back. He cut all contact with me. It was too painful.
    After this, we both lived with mistreatment, abusive relationships for 10 years.

    Once he came back. It was complicated. Up.and downs. We both pushed each other to the edge. He rejected me. I rejected him. He was telling me he could not ove anymore. He did not feel emotions. But all I was seeing were acts of love from him.
    He ran again… moved out and he is unhappy. He hides in his pride. His work…

    I am there for him. He knows what I feel. Yet he still tells me he is incapable of love. This hurts me.so much. I am working on myself ans I have never been this happy with me but I miss his presence terribly. His speech is so incoherent. One minute he admits that I am a golden soul and he agrees he loves me. The next he wants to move to Europe and says only his work make him happy. That he cannot love.

    It feels I am making this up. Feels like he is right and I am wrong to think he is my TF. I feel like we will never be together because he will keep running. But we have this… connection… I am sad inside. But every other day I let him know that he is wonderful… and that I hope for the best to him. Is this pushing him away?

    Thank you for the text and everything.

    Like

  21. Dawn Bohn says:

    Hi everyone. I read this article and it pretty much resonates with me as well, but not exactly. It’s a great article nonetheless. I wanted to share something as well with you all to help heal you and your Twin. I find it VERY helpful and I believe it really does work.
    http://www.twinflames1111.com/

    Like

    • Michelle says:

      I actually grabbed that last night; my TF is MIA right now and need to work at releasing and moving check forward for both of us.

      Like

  22. Adam says:

    I found out last night that a girl i met a few months ago, is my twin flame and is in the runner stage she is 22 years younger than me, we haven’t been together and we dont really know each other that well, but we have both already rejected each other, she basically ignores me unless we bump into each other which is not that often, but thankfully i haven’t experienced anything like what people have been going thru on this page and after reading all this and other pages i am basically walking away from this situation for good, i refuse to be a chaser or runner or to go thru all the pain and suffering that people seem to be going thru, she doesn’t seem to want to contact me so i dont think she will, i will hopefully forget about her pretty soon, i can go weeks/months without bumping into her, so that will help, i really dont understand why people want to meet there twin flame when all it seems to do is cause pain and suffering

    Like

    • Lucy says:

      The challenges don’t have to cause pain and suffering it’s all in the way we deal internally and externally with the circumstances. The more you focus inward–clearing and growing internally the less the pain and suffering and can actually become minutiae in the bigger picture. If you are twin flames there is no such thing as running, chasing or walking away. You are eternally connected. It’s an opportunity for you and she to grow and expand your Selves in a way no other opportunity will offer you in this life or the next. I wish you Peace.

      Like

      • Adam says:

        Well we all have free will, and we have both used that to decide we dont want each other, i dont ever expect to hear from her, and i am making changes to my life so i dont ever see her again, and every story i have read all contains pain and suffering and its not for me, i am also not interested in being enlightened, or any other spiritual or psychic stuff that can happen, i closed myself off from all that ages ago and thats the way its staying so i am protecting myself from by walking away

        Like

      • Lucy says:

        I so get it the thinking you can get away, walk away, do things to protect your Self; trying to think or feel in a way to manipulate the connection. There is no such thing. It truly is a Blessing designed to help us evolve as human beings. No matter what you think, do or say the connection IS and IS eternal 🙂

        Like

      • Adam says:

        it really isn’t a blessing and if you ask most people that have had all the pain and suffering they prob wont say its a blessing either, i dont really know her so i have no actual feelings for her because she started running right at the start, and as long as i dont see her we will never get to know each other and that suits me just fine and i found something out about her the other day that is basically a game changer and will stop me from being with her, i am the most stubborn person ever and when i say i wont do something i never do it and, i really hate anything spiritual and psychic so im fighting back saying im not going thru all the pain and suffering and your not controlling my life trying to give me fake feelings for some girl 22 years younger than me that i dont know, the way i acted in the first few weeks when we first met wasn’t me i would never do what i done so its all fake and been forced on me

        Like

      • Lucy says:

        I have been through it All and still see it as a Blessing…I wish you well.

        Like

  23. Adam says:

    can the runner/chaser start before you have been in a relationship or even really know your twin flame that well

    Like

    • Julieta says:

      In my opinion, yes. Definitely. But I answer that from hindsight, mind you. I didn’t even realize what he was at the time and I wasn’t running from him really, I was running from myself. But now I can look back and see the picture in it’s entirety I can see that I just wasn’t ready for him. I had too much to learn.

      Like

  24. Adam says:

    I found out recently that a girl i met a few months ago is my twin flame and is in the runner stage she is 22 years younger than me, we haven’t been together and we dont really know each other that well, but we have both already rejected each other, she basically ignores me unless we bump into each other which is not that often, but thankfully i haven’t experienced anything like what people have been going thru on this page and after reading all this and other pages i am basically walking away from this situation for good, i refuse to be a chaser or runner or to go thru all the pain and suffering that people seem to be going thru, she doesn’t seem to want to contact me so i dont think she will, i will hopefully forget about her pretty soon, i can go weeks/months without bumping into her, so that will help, i really dont understand why people want to meet there twin flame when all it seems to do is cause pain and suffering

    Like

  25. No offense but SO MUCH of this Twin Flame stuff is NONSENSE.
    Yeah I met my ‘TF’ and there has been ‘running’ and ‘chasing’ but that is simply because he was an immature, selfish and self absorbed jerk when we met and he has needed doses of hard love in order to WAKE UP.
    I don’t play games very well and so much of this Twin Flame babble tells us to conceit to playing games. What a waste of the short time we have here on this planet.
    Speak your mind, say what you feel and if it is retuned than so be it, if no, move on.
    No matter how connected you feel to someone to allow them to come and go as they please without any regards to your feelings and at the same time chalk it all up to these far out concepts, which I am not saying don’t exist but I am saying are quite exaggerated for life here in 3D.
    We are here in 3D, Period. So no matter if you want to ascend or whatnot, we must remember we are here NOW and to allow someone else so much influence on ones life is very, very unhealthy considering most of these relationships people have are most defiantly NOT TRUE twin flames.
    Just my 2 cents.

    Like

  26. RedShieldRunningWolf says:

    It comes to this – each of us has to trust in our heart and soul. This process is the hardest many of us will ever go through. It is harder than all of the trying things many of us have ever known in our entire lives, combined. Many of us will be told by family and friends that they feel sorry for us and that we are wasting our lives waiting for our twin.

    You will feel alone – Know that you are not ever alone.

    If you keep fighting and living, you will come to a point where you are brought to your knees. These are our darkest days, but remember that it is always darkest before the dawn. At that point you learn to love and accept who you are and you can share with the people you love, that you are not wasting your life – you have always lived it and you are living it now. It is freeing to get to this point – where for the first time in your life you can be who you are – this is all thanks to your soul connection with your eternal love and also to the strength and courage within you – your soul, that shines so brightly.

    We know in our hearts and souls what this connection means. It is part of us, it is in our essence and our hearts and it is everywhere. It will guide us to our purpose. It is what connects us to that which we cannot see, but must trust to believe. This is called FAITH.

    Each day, we must make a choice – a decision not just to survive in our lives or to attempt to live the lives we once knew (for life as we once knew it cannot ever return to the way it was), but each moment of each day we must decide again and again to LIVE.

    We can spend forever contemplating what all of these connections really are in 3D – yes, some of them are co-dependent or unhealthy, others are powerful, transformational and freeing. There is a cumulative body of knowledge that this connection and relationship exists. The proof is all of us that are experiencing it. It is clear there are elements to the connection that cannot be explained and are at a spiritual level.
    Perhaps we are not meant to understand all of the beauty in this connection. To fully experience it, we must see without seeing. We must go to the depths of our souls at times – this is painful and not for the faint of heart. Here we will find all of the things that limit us. Here we are tempted to believe the lies, the masks and the things that helpful people are trying to show us (what they would do in our situation).
    Here is where we have to decide – do we believe the lies and take the easier road and give up, or do we believe our own truth and start to clear away all the things in our lives that have kept us small and limit our potential? I have realized my eternal connection just over 1 yr ago. During this time, I have had many people talking at me. I have come to a point where I had to listen to what is within. What is within tells me that all of the fear and pain we feel now, is a reflection of all of the things that have limited our potential our entire lives.
    I have looked within and outside of my heart and soul for answers. One thing becomes clear – we don’t have all the answers – I wish that I could take away all of the pain that all of you feel in separation. I understand the depths of the places it brings you to and the times you feel like giving up.
    What I can offer thus far from my lessons is this – It becomes clear that there is never only one way. Equally, things don’t have to be a certain way. We can learn the tools and paths to discover ourselves, our missions, to re-unite with our eternal love and to be the greatest we can be. We can also make new paths and find the answers we don’t yet have. It is a balance of what we cannot see (faith and 5d) and our potential in 3d, in which we have the power to create the joy and true love that radiates from within each of our eternal connections. The eternal love created, once allowed to shine freely, is our gift to the world.
    Just by being as it is, our love will bring others freedom and joy. This synergy is most likely to occur when we release the chains we have placed on ourselves for years – when we realize that our potentials are limitless. It is here where we can embrace our gifts of eternal love and let them shine.

    -Be the love you wish to see in the world. ❤ Do not give up, I believe in you.

    Like

  27. Anonymus says:

    Thanks for sharing. I met my soulmate at work and this is how it happended he is my superior like an assistant to a superisor at a call center. I would normally ask him for help when ever I have a questions he would answer and be on his way. One day he passed over my position and he asked me ¨Are you ready for me¨ he said this to me with out opening his mouth it was like his spirit was speaking to me . Something inside of me my soul appeard to be sleeping and as soon as he said those words it felt like it got awake. After this i was too afraid to embrace the connetions and to actually make the move to take matters to the next step and ended up running from the connection due to fear. I acted very bad to him because he was getting to close even though that was exactly what I wanted I was going through many issues that I was afraid of hurting him , so I ran. I regret it so much cause the love was so powerful.

    Like

  28. Marie Glander says:

    Wow, I am so happy to read of other twin souls with huge age gaps, I met my twin almost 10 years ago. He was so young and immediately infatuated with me, I felt such an immediate love for him, I was married and had one teenager and one almost adult child, close to his age, I felt my love for him was motherly as he came here from another country and had left his mother and family behind.
    We went on this way for a few years, he went to school to learn English and would leave me notes, he was a bus boy in the resturant we worked together, his notes melted my heart, I would hug him and tell him I was so proud of him, eventually our hug led to a little kiss and we went from there, our connection was so deep, I moved out of my house and moved to my fathers, as he needed more full time care, anyway we fell more deeply in love and started to plan our future
    Many things happened and eventually as I learned everything about his past and him about mine we parted, we were together over 5 years, I was the one who took him to get glasses, taught him jow to floss his teeth, got him to the dentist, pushed him to get his ged, we are such an amazing team, he held me thru the death of my father, always knew when I needed to be held, just an amazing story
    But now he has run, I am living in a house I bought with money from my father’s inheritance, my tf calls me at least once a week usually drunk, and has come to me on numerous occasions, he is seeing someone else, she is 35 years younger then me and 10 younger then him
    He asked me to stop at the apartment one day, to have dinner and I found her stuff in what was our shower when we found that place, I cannot express the pain
    But not anger still un conditional love
    I no longer work for the same people , he does but I felt I had to leave there, funny thing is he is seeing the bosses daughter, and he always claimed he needed to move on from this place we encourages that in each other, I don’t know what to do, I have such anxiety sometimes I cannot breathe, and he know I am his true love, can anyone help me

    Like

    • Lucy says:

      I am willing to talk and/or communicate via on this site or email or phone. Just talking it out with someone is helpful even though the details of our stories might not be exactly the same. You can email me @ lucymmgeorge@gmail.com and from there maybe we could exchange phone numbers. You can find me on facebook @ Lucy Monica George 🙂

      Like

  29. Julieta says:

    I, too was a twin flame runner. Of course, I didn’t realize at the time. Nor recognized the tf dynamic. I didn’t see things for what they were until I was reunited with him exactly 30 years almost to the day from the time I ran. At the time, I was just a broken 22 year old girl who was trying to recover from the heart break of losing my best friend in a tragic accident we were both in and the ending of a relationship with who I thought was the love of my life. That’s when I met HIM. My soul twin. Although he couldn’t put a name to it when we met, he KNEW. He knew we were meant to be together. And carried the torch for me for all those years. I’d never gotten over him either although I didn’t let myself think about it often in those 30 years because I felt so awful about disappearing on him like that. I cannot tell you how I regret taking so long to humble myself and track him down to ask his forgiveness for having been so insensitive and run off. As soon as we started communicating again, it did not take long at all to see what I had lost. He is my other half, no doubt about it. We’re both at an age now where we’re open and honest and know we have no more time to waste, which is good. But past the age of being able to have a family together which is bittersweet to say the least. When you come to a place where you can open your heart to someone and give and receive love freely, only then will you be able to recognize your twin for what he or she is and work on building a life together. If you think you may have found someone who fits the description, please do.yourself a favor and humble yourself and take the time to do the self work required to meet your twin heart to heart. Take it from someone who waited 30 years, don’t fight it. Because there will come a time when you will be filled with regret over it, I guarantee you. so you might as well do it now. I don’t recommend waiting 30 years, i really dont. Peace & Love to all.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Can't remember says:

      Dear Julieta,
      Thank you for posting this inspiration, and writing it so clearly that even I could make sense of it . My stage is the great silence (I think we both chose it ) and it offers the space to work on myself and my family . It’s been awhile but daily the breath is taken out of me when I see her face from behind my eyes , I still hold my pillow close throughout the nights .. I think it acts like a bandaid to cover my exposed heart , and daily I go through the motions that I have become so familiar with , sometimes egoistical anger … how could a person use me, deceive me , play with me like that … and then sometimes a calm and rosey pink swirl of loveliness .. and sometimes a melachonic warmth .. and sometimes if I’m lucky a dream . I work on the anger, hold on to the love but stay away from any media that may lead me to her . I wish I had a photo.
      I think what is hardest is never knowing if any of this is true or delusional, and that no one can answer. But you write of a long silence which I can relate to , or live out this fantasy, which way you must be immensely strong to have given in and approached him, he must have been the gladest man in town and you must have been the happiest girl around to find maybe even contrary to your expectations , arms open wide 🙂

      Like

      • Julieta says:

        Dear Can’t Remember,
        Thank you for your lovely words. You have the right idea focusing on yourself. For that IS the only key. You have self-work to do, She clearly has self-work to do. And you can’t get together and stay together until it’s done. Because in my experience, the only way to even ascertain for sure that one is your other half is through radical honesty. For it is only when you reveal your truest self, (the good, the bad and the ugly), to this other person and are met with complete understanding,(because they are made up of the same stuff you are), that you will know beyond a shadow of a doubt that they’re your other half. And the more you talk, the more you realize you’ve basically walked the exact same paths in life, I mean, this person told me his story and it was MY story. Almost word for word.And how can one be radically honest with another if they have yet to be with themselves? I didn’t spend 30 years thinking he was my twin, I spent 30 years living a life that never really worked. I did think of him throughout the years. Because he was and still is the most beautiful boy I’d ever known. And I would feel remorse for having run off in the night because I was scared and was in a place where I didn’t believe in Love. I got married, had 2 kids, pretended to be something I wasn’t to please my family & (now ex) husband & society, basically lived an inauthentic life for years – until an odd series of events, (coming in contact with people from my past…(Thanks, Facebook!) etc.), culminated in the occurrence of my daughter having the old “cut and run” pulled on her by a boy she felt she had a truly deep connection with, that got me thinking about the boy I had done that to 30 years earlier. After my daughter had that experience, she said to me one night, “Mom, the worst, most painful part is not even knowing WHY he just disappeared. I don’t think I’ll ever get over not knowing why”. Seeing her in pain like that, it finally hit me after all those years. “Oh My God, That’s probably exactly what HE went through when I ran off”. And then I knew that even though it had been 30 years and possibly he barely remembered, (even though deep down, I knew he did), and possibly I would find him happily married or understandably thinking very little of me for what I had done, or maybe he wouldn’t even acknowledge my friend request, the very least I owed him was an explanation & an apology.
        You see, it wasn’t until I had the humility to be more concerned about his feelings than my ego that I was able to see us for who we really are. Unconditional Love.
        Peace & Love to you

        Liked by 1 person

      • Can't remember says:

        Tx again , but I don’t think I’ll see her in this life again , I’m 46, and married to a beautiful woman , I won’t leave , I won’t chase nor stalk .. just fulfill these tests . Maybe the one I’m presently with I chased long ago too , who knows . But she will always occupy a part of my heart . I think the great lesson for me is to let go , non attachment and non aversion , and slowly make my way up heaven wards .. I sometimes feel tired of this world . A balloon cannot rise carrying sand.

        But your story is beautiful and glad and love is beautiful to have experienced ,
        Namaste

        Like

  30. spaceofbeing says:

    I also want to thank both the author of this article and blog, and Julieta here above, whose spirit reaches me so gently with her words and story 🙂

    And, since many here seem to go through the ‘work’ they feel called to do, I felt to share what has really helped me a lot, the work on partnership by Alison Armstrong. She has been researching for many years on masculine and feminine dynamics and the ways to make them just be together in partnership, so there’s a lot in her materials that can help those on a TF journey, and also those who aren’t, actually, because it applies to every context of life after all. She is a lovely person and so great at inspiring, just check out her website, there’s plenty of free videos, interviews and other things that might already help => http://www.understandmen.com/free/
    hope it helps, enjoy! 🙂

    ps: …I get the ideas on the TF that circulate at this time, the whole thing, it seems people have come to similar conclusions all over the world about its meaning and how it plays out…

    But, do you guys ever wonder why just you decided to experience this, in this lifetime?

    Althought on the internet there’s a lot on the topic, and even from the comments on this blog you can see that many people are going through it, if I look around in my life, well, I can say I know only one person, a shaman, who is aware of his TF, all of the other people I know seem to be into different kinds of Soulmate relationships instead. So, why me, and him? Why us, who are writing here?
    I know that ‘why’ is not the most powerful question to meditate on, but I’m curios like a monkey, so today I was thinking of that and I’d like to hear your thoughts on it 😉

    Like

    • Lucy says:

      I see you ask why and that is a legitimate question. In my experience why questions get me in my head/mind/ego. I like to ask what. What is the reason I am experiencing this TF thing in this lifetime. To Be Heart. I could go further and say so that the human race is uplifted and expanded by my Presence to further and expand Evolution of people.

      Like

      • spaceofbeing says:

        Hi Lucy 🙂
        Yup, as I wrote yesterday I also think that ‘why’ is not a great question to ‘hmm’ing on. And I already get the Heart on Earth etc thing and all of that, very clear to me.

        What I was wondering instead, and asking to you guys too, is about the fact that it’s happening to us, not to everyone at the moment. I find it interesting, that’s it, so I’m curios about others’ opinions about it…. perhaps some of you got a realization about that? I didn’t so far (not that I spent much time on it anyway), and the ideas/explanations that circulate, for example the one about being very brave souls who are leading the way, feels to me too egotic and still very 3dimensional, so… I’m wondering what else might it be 😉

        Okay, the question itself is much 3dimensional, since I’m talking about us and this illusion/reality/lifetime, but didn’t know how to put it in other terms, hope you could get what I’m observing here anyway. And if not, no problem, after all just throught the TF experience I found out that for me at least silence and just wonder (meditation) is what brings (some) clarity, not eally talking about something. But I find it also pretty entertaining, sometimes, playing on this level, since our awarness is so much focused on it. I do believe life in this form is meant to be a ‘party’, full of joy and grace, and also fun, and perhaps sharing things like these, without much drama, can help with bringing that into fruition.

        Namaste.

        Like

      • Lucy says:

        I get what you are expressing….

        Like

    • Julieta says:

      There was no “deciding” about it for me. I believe it was just my time. I was born with a hunger for “more” and pursued it relentlessly my whole life but never felt satisfied until making my way home to Him, the most beautiful boy in the universe, Now I just feel at peace. Home at last. 🙂 ❤

      Liked by 1 person

      • spaceofbeing says:

        I can relate, and surely hope to get home that way some day 🙂 However, with ‘deciding’ I meant the choice made on a soul (or whatever vibrationally higher than us 3D beings one believes in) level, just forgot to add the quotes..

        Like

  31. spaceofbeing says:

    I was just thinking about the process I went through during these years, and another couple of things that really helped me are:
    – the study of/meditation on the Enneagram (according to the School of Gestalt Therapy and C. Naranjo, and The 4th Way by Gurdjieff), a really powerful tool to understand what kind of personality we built and how our ego plays out in our lives;
    – the study of the Human Design system, to understand what kind of energetic system we have and how it works.
    Both of them gave me profound realizations about how I work and why, and others too, and all in all made me be a really better human being than I was before (which means also I could understand much better my TF then)
    Hmm, now that I think of it, more is coming… Something else was: a lot of work on body consciousness (dance for example, eg. tango, powerful to understand the way masculine and feminine can interact; contact improvisation, which really frees our body; Sacred Dances, again by Gurdjieff, so great at using both emopsheres of the brain); communication (again, according to the Gestalt, which operates from no judgement); as Julieta said also, Radical Honesty/Truth; studying a different language, it might sound weird but it also truly helps to activate different neuronal paths in our brains and to use the other emisphere; Healthy Communication (again, by the Gestalt); and, probably a lot more… Definitely, also letting go of all that was keeping me from doing what I really felt to do and be, which meant people, activities, habits, everything that distracts and feels less than ‘right’ for us.

    Safe travel home!

    Like

    • spaceofbeing says:

      ps: I just saw that here above I had written ‘communication’ twice, but meant ‘healthy communication’ and ‘management of emotions’, both done with the Gestaltians

      Like

  32. Lucy says:

    WOW very “in~lightened” of you…I imagine you get it about the deeper and wider you go within your Self the more likely you will unite with your TF (it’s been my experience) 🙂 Thanks for sharing.

    Like

    • Julieta says:

      “the deeper and wider you go within your Self the more likely you will unite with your TF”

      Yes! I could not agree more with this statement ❤

      Like

  33. Chalice says:

    Yes, well, “if ignorance is bliss, then ’tis folly to be wise”

    I wanted to keep believing the whole TF thing, but the sheer weight of reality combined with reading this article had me feeling so very sad; it comes across as mental ‘contortionism’, desperately clutching at straws in an effort to find more and more creative ways to deny reality while justifying the destruction of established relationships belonging to others.

    We can make excuses for just about everything in life and even convincingly dress situations up to make them look like something they’re not – I should know – I was Queen of denial for quite some time when I fell for the whole TF thing hook, line and sinker – like the gullible idiot I was.

    Pro tip: If you suspect a guy is just using you for a ‘bit of fun’ on the side, or to boost his ego, he is. There’s nothing ‘spiritual’ about it.

    If you suspect he’ll always go running back to his wife whenever you become ‘difficult’, then rest assured, he will – because that’s who he loves and that’s who he chose to spend his life with – not you. Nothing spiritual about it.

    If you suspect he’s ignoring you, he is. Nothing spiritual about it.

    If you suspect he means it when he tells you, ‘we’re just friends’, he does. Nothing spiritual about it.

    Why?

    Because there’s is no such thing as ‘twin flames’; it’s a concept created by a desperately lonely, romantically-rejected woman (forgot her name now but when I contacted her a few years ago to ask where she got her TF ideas from, she refused to answer).

    Funny (tragic, even) how something so wrong catches on like wildfire (yet another New Age fad) and leads people by the nose to false hope, like herds of sheep choosing to jump off cliffs in the fog, rather than see the reality of daylight and remain on firm ground with dignity and common sense intact.

    Incidentally, who said it was ok to ignore your gut instincts in this insanity called ‘twin flames’? If your instincts are telling you something, then save yourself (and the potential victims around you) unmitigated pain and pay attention to it!

    Like

    • Sounds like your thoughts/beliefs are creating your reality (just like everyone). If you think that is what is happening, then it will. And IT is all ways about Loving your Self first and Being Love in any and every situation/circumstance that shows up. I wish you well.

      Like

  34. anonimous says:

    I dont wany any of this, my heart aches so much. I don’t even know if I am the chaser or the runner, I long time ago I deactivate my only way of talking to my twin flame (twitter), but this was just because he left me and I couldn’t “see” him anymore. I think that he just doesn’t care about me, and I feel so insane. we don’t know anything about each other now, we’re totally strangers, he can’t see me but I visit his profile everyday just to see his angelical face… But I don’t want this, I don’t see how we will be together, you know… I don’t even know why I am thinking about him these days, this was kinda forgotten to me, but my heart brought this feeling back. Loving him was the most painfull thing that ever happened to me.

    Like

    • Love is not pain. Love is Love and Eternal; the pain is the letting go of our attachments to our expectations of what we think (ego/mind) “relationships” should look like. The TF experience is not a relationship it is an Eternal Union. Sounds like you are in the midst of letting go of the old paradigm of relationship. The letting go is the process of opening up to allowing the New in and Being Love which is what we are here to Be. Labels and categorizing have no meaning; this [TF] process is one of Being Love. If he is your TF than he is feeling what you are feeling in his own way–All~ways.

      Like

  35. annette says:

    When will it ever go over? Its been almost four years since we spoke. But i see him all the time. Im always thinking next time i see him i will talk to him. Just saying something. But When i see him, i cant. Something is holding me back. Maybe fear?
    The thing is, i have a boyfriend. Have been with him since 1999. Have tried many times to leave him but cant.. so when i told my tf about him he turned around and left. Never spoke to me again.
    But he is watching me. Sometimes When i hurt so much in the chest, i dont know if It is him or me, i know i will see him soon.
    I think hes got a girlfriend now. I hurt so much this weekend i will see if i see him or not in the next days. Maybe he made it and i didnt?

    Like

  36. Wendy Ramsamy says:

    Hi All, I met my Twin in Nepal in 2012. It was when I was feeling old and unattractive. This beautiful young man, was trying to talk to me for days when I went walking and I would just smile and pass him by. I was married with two kids and I went on a kind of pilgrimage to Nepal.

    He finally stopped me on the day that I was leaving and we took a photo together and exchanged a few words and promised to keep in touch on fb. I was seriously inlove with my husband at that time. I came back home, happy to be with my family again after two long weeks.
    My twin kept messaging and I finally after a bit of a downer time in my life, realised that this person was a breath of fresh air and I needed to breathe in all that he was offering. Neddless to say, I got hooked and so did he.

    He was 26 at that time and of Kashmir decent and so handsome. I was 39, overweight and was then insecure with this man, that gave me undivided attention and love.

    This story is a long one and it goes back centuries as I have been in a cycle of sexual abuse with my present husband through many lifetimes. And, my twin was always near by.

    Its been 4 years and it has been up and down. We fought alot but could not stay without each other. This was all only on video and text chats. But, we never missed a day without being in touch.

    Long story short, he eventually found a girlfriend and I went through a divorce and we just drifted away from each other. During this time we both healed and when we connected again, we realised that love like ours never dies. We have loved each other through life times and probably for eternity and that we are never without each other.

    I love now unconditionally and he taught me that. I think that when we read about twin flames, we have expectations that we are going to go through all that is writtent about. How about just being in love and enjoying the love and learning to love without condition. Throw away fears and just be love in yourself. See in him/her the beauty that you carry within yourself, and love those things about yourself.

    I will never love like I have loved this soul. There are many reasons why we cant be together and we have both accepted that, because we understand where each of us is in our life and in our respective cultures.

    My heart doesnt yearn anymore as love travels across the oceans and mountains and trees. His love is felt all the time coz it moves straight to my heart. The same from me to him. We will be together in our next life.

    But, what he helped me see was my fake life with my husband. The fact that I was not loved but possessed and owned. I started seeing the cracks in the persona that I was with for so many years. I stayed until, I could not stand it any longer.

    So, my twin showed me true, simple, pure love that I was not getting from the realationship that I was in. He helped me see the cracks so that I could break my cycle with a man, that functioned on my power coz he did not know how to create his own.

    Knwo that in your heart that twins are forever and not physical distance can take that away. We are eternal beings so, why spend time worrying about something that will never go away, fade or die?

    Like

  37. Paulina says:

    Great article, you should write a book, I didn’t read anything with such interest for years. Story is very inspiring, but the author has a writing talent also. Peace.

    Like

  38. Bruce says:

    This is an inspirational post to say the least, thank you so much. There has been so much running and chasing between me and my twin that I finally had to stop chasing. The more I chased the more she ran. I’m now actually getting to know and love myself the way that she loves me. I’m learning more about myself and I thank her for that because I may never have stopped to really see what I’m all about. It’s a crazy thing this Twin Flame thing.

    Like

  39. myna says:

    I think I am the twinflame runner due to my insecurities. I hope one day we meet again to be happily ever after. In the meantime, I will try to work in myself to overcome these insecurities and let our destiny reunite us.

    Like

  40. godspeaks749 says:

    DouceJonna,

    I too have see the creation of the universe, floated past the nebulas, kundalini awakening etc, etc, etc… while Intimate with another person. I sometimes watch your YouTube videos. I think you’re the same person, anyway, so all along I’ve been going through this TF journey and finally after 4 years I came across an article about a drug called special k it’s a ruffie. And it has a lot of symptoms of what happened the night I met this guy. So for 4 years I thought I wasn’t drugged but I’m now realizing maybe I was. In which case I am doing a 180 and hating the guy instead of loving. It’s been quite an awakening of an awakening. It still doesn’t explain the “other” experiences I’ve had. Do you think I was drugged? Or was my experience real?

    Like

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