The Married Twin Flame & Divorce – Aligning with the Truth Within


As humanity evolves and ascends into a higher vibration, relationships are changing too. The expansion of consciousness brings with it a broader understanding of the different ways we relate to and connect with each other.  As we move into the 4th and 5th dimensions, the old paradigm relationships of the 3D consciousness are crumbling, causing many to question the many inherited symbolic systems which govern our lives today.

One of the systems in need of being redefined during this time of rapid spiritual evolution is the old stereotypical concept of marriage. Marriage today has become a contract, an institution of society, and the couple a property of that society. Not so long ago, people still married for the sole purpose of ensuring their physical survival or to obtain an heir, and although people still marry for external reasons (money, family, social status etc.), many now enter into marriage in order to pursue emotional fulfillment and spiritual growth. But if marriage is the ideal platform for this then why are so many marriages failing? The thing about spiritual growth is, it can make us incompatible with someone we used to be in harmony with. Since spiritual growth is accelerating and humanity awakening, more and more people are working through their karmic lessons and “outgrowing” their marriages faster than ever before. As such, marriage as it exists today here on Earth is not meant to last forever – but only until the full potential for growth has been reached which often isn’t “until death do us part”.

Underlying the disintegration of marriage is the spiritual amnesia we all suffer from to varying degrees. Humanity has forgotten it’s true nature and with it, the true meaning of marriage. Marriage as God intended is a sacred union of two souls, created for each other, with each other. Unfortunately very few marriages today are founded upon the resonance of souls – let alone two people sharing the same soul. This is where we as Twin flames step in. We are the way showers, here to bring a new template onto this Planet; one where true love is that of the soul and where our love for our partner mirrors our relationship with our Self and God to the most intimate degree, allowing for endless spiritual and emotional growth and discovery. This is not the template of a relationship but of a union which awakens the divine sparkle within us and draws our divine counterpart to us, reminding us of the eternal life which awaits us once our shared mission here on Earth is complete.

Since consciousness is the basis of all reality, any shift in consciousness changes every aspect of our reality. Meeting our Twin flame is definitely such a shift; they catalyze our spiritual awakening and cause total upheaval in every area of our lives. It only takes one second, one moment for the memories of real, unbridled love to come rushing back. These feelings originate in the soul and spread like fire to the rest of the body. They push us onto a guest for a more authentic life; helping us see beyond the illusions. We find ourselves questioning everything; not only who we are and what we are doing, but also the decisions we’ve made in the past, including whether and whom to marry.

Meeting our Twin flame when already married is truly a test of fire – just like our soul intended it. The omnipotent, cellular level awakening we experience causes our vibration, awareness and energy to immediately jump up a notch – or a dozen – making us acutely aware of the energetic suppression we’ve been living under. The soul is adamant: it wants resonance, it wants freedom, it wants union – and it wants it NOW.

The souls magnetize each other and we truly feel the magical Universe at play through the synchronicities and signs that surround us. Maybe like many others it is being made clear to us, from within, that it is time to leave our marriage – not because of the promise of a blissful Union but because our own soul demands it. The soul does not make mistakes. It knows the path it wants to follow.

Many bolt out of existing relationships upon meeting their Twin flame since they can no longer find alignment with the old. The call to return to our original state of Oneness is so intoxicating, and the otherworldly soul connection to the Twin flame felt so strongly that staying in the old relationship becomes unbearable. Every second, every minute we are aware of the pressure upon us to follow the call to be who we really are, at the deepest level within us.

Unfortunately as the magnetic pull reverses signaling the start of the journey within, many find themselves returning to these old relationships – not because we fell out of love with our Twin flame but because all the hurt and disappointment we caused our partner and the other important people in our lives finally catches up with us. Subconsciously we know there is still unfinished business (karma) to work through. We retreat into the “safety” of our old paradigm marriage, where we hide and try to make sense of things, protected by the society which demands we do the “right thing” and remain with the person whom we promised our life.

This pattern is a sign of old energy that needs resolving. It is resistance to our own evolution. There is no right or wrong way here – just more work to do and lessons to learn. Ironically, once the dust settles, we may be surprised to find that the marriage seems better in many ways; our spouse may be awakening too, there may be less conflict, and things generally seem to flow better. Of course, this is not because the spouse changed but because we changed, our perception changed – and in turn it affected the whole relationship dynamic. And even though we realize we can never quite go back to the way things used to be, we feel relieved being able to carry on in a marriage where we feel safe and secure but which also does not require us to “invest” ourselves like the Twin flame union does.


Yet as the time goes by… We still find ourselves thinking about this wondrous person who flipped our world upside down, wondering what went wrong and why they could not be a part of our life. They are still the first person we want to run to with news of our greatest joys and deepest sorrows – and the one whose energy we seek when we want to calm our spirit. We may feel their heartbeat inside our own, or pain in our heart when they intimately give themselves to someone else. We may hear them speak to us and feel the warmth of their presence in the heart chakra. The impact of the Twin flame on the energetic body simply cannot be undone or permanently ignored.

This is where the two paths separate. For some, this will be a moment of truth, a recognition of the staying power of this connection; a realization that this person will always be a part of their being, whether they like it or not. These people will do their best to find a way to include the Twin flame in their life, for the benefit of everyone involved. Rather than hide the connection, they may even come out to their spouse about it. For them it may not feel right to leave just yet; maybe there are children to consider, or  simply more growth to be done.

Then there are those who miss their Twin flame just as much but who are determined to keep this person away from their marriage; not because they worry about that person crossing any lines but because they do not trust themselves not to. The connection is still there, alive and kicking, but suppressed underneath feelings of guilt, duty and responsibility towards the spouse. Even if they do want to reach out, they cannot find the words, frustrated at not being able to express their true heart – or for fear of opening the can of worms that they perceive this connection to be. They may feel confident that they are doing the right thing, yet they still feel stuck. They may not even realize this has anything to do with the Twin flame, but they find themselves spending more and more time away from home. Sex and intimacy become a struggle. Health problems crop up; abdominal pains, sciatica, headaches, pain in the legs, feet and lower back – all just a reflection of how stuck they feel emotionally. Since their creativity up and left with the Twin flame they find themselves moving completely into their head space – after all, the Twin flame now occupies the heart space they refuse to visit.

To occupy their mind they throw themselves into religion, politics, work, studies; into anything else that they can obsess over and fill their mind space with. Deep within they know they really should be honest with everyone and end the marriage for that one true chance at happiness – yet what is holding them back is that long shared history, no matter how unhappy or unfulfilling. They feel that they owe it to their spouse to “stick it out”; that they could not handle the guilt of breaking their heart. Maybe they already tried and instead of compassion and reverence received emotional outbursts, suicide threats and more. They may feel like the worst person in the world, a “shithead”, just for feeling this love within… On top of everything, they know they have let their Twin flame down. They haven’t forgotten their promise of a physical Union, made eons ago and reaffirmed in each incarnation. Deep within they have not given up on that promise; they are just postponing it… but to delay Union is a dangerous game that easily traps us for a lifetime.

Of course by now both these individuals realize that they will always carry a part of their Twin flame within; as an energy, a reflection and a presence, as an integral part of who they are. By deliberately disconnecting from that which is within, a divide now exists within their very own being. It dawns on them that the spouse will never be able to return that vibration of unconditional love to the same degree that the Twin flame could. No matter how much they may try, it will never be as nourishing, as deep, as intimate, as spiritual, as infused in God. Time and time again, the dilemma will continue to present itself: to keep the status quo and die a slow spiritual death only ever giving a part of yourself to the spouse – or to divorce and finally be fully who you are, with or without the Twin flame?

Making the decision to move on is a very difficult one. Feelings of confusion, guilt, hurt, betrayal, loss and emptiness will be daily companions throughout the process. The best advice I can give anyone in this situation is to follow your inner voice and look to the universe – not your Twin – for guidance and direction. Ask the Universe for smooth transitions and an outcome for the highest good of all. Also know that meeting your Twin flame does not always equal “happily ever after”. Union is a choice you both must make. You must understand this: there are no guarantees. It is possible in the course of a lifetime to meet many people of similar vibration or with whom you share a deep spiritual bond due to past life experiences – this does not always mean they are your Twin flame, nor does it necessarily translate into a compatible lifelong romantic relationship.

Nevertheless, beyond all the questions and moral dilemmas is the reality of Real Love. Is your Twin flame the One with forever in their eyes? Is it their face that appears before you as you call upon your beloved? Did you always know that you came here to reunite with your one true love? Has your soul confirmed this to you? It is not by mistake that the Twin flame shows up in your reality. You are both being given a chance to embody your highest self here on earth in THIS lifetime.. You are being shown that Union is possible – that it is within your reach. It is already something your soul aspires to. Why settle for anything less? Be brave and ask yourself: is it in the highest good of everyone to put blinders on and persist in a profoundly incompatible marriage, denying yourself and your spouse the chance to find true love; or to trust that small voice inside your heart which tells you to take that leap of faith and to follow the call home?

Real love is forever, it will never leave you. This journey only ever leads to one place: back to each other.


So many people know the truth of their heart yet fail to follow through. So many choose to stunt their growth by remaining in an unfulfilling marriage rather than to move on to new spiritual paths for fear of the unknown. This is the epidemic that still plagues the Twin flame community. I am not saying that a person should leave their marriage at the first sight of the Twin flame, HOWEVER creating something new requires action and sacrifices and it is here that so many of us fall short. This journey demands we give it all. If we do not take the first step then who will? This is about YOU; about following the path you always believed in.

Divorce is not easy but so many obstacles can be avoided by remaining positive and holding the intention of the highest good for everyone involved. Personally, I cleared a tremendous hurdle on my journey this month. As you may recall I took the leap two years ago to leave my husband (I blogged about it here) for no other reason than to finally be who I am – including allowing the Twin flame energies to flow within me freely. When I told my Twin about it at the time, he mentioned how ironic it was that I seemed to have “gone over the edge” whilst he was still “standing on it“. Two years later he is still on that edge, grasping that can of worms, staring into the cloudy darkness below.

But he was right about one thing: I took that leap and never looked back!

The big news is that my divorce was finalized earlier this month, ironically just days before what should have been my 10th wedding anniversary.

It’s weight off my shoulders like you wouldn’t believe it.

And I can say, hand on heart, that the promise of a physical reunion with my Twin had very little to do with it.

I divorced because I was presented with a choice; me or my marriage. To stay married to a spouse who stopped cherishing me a long time ago, or to divorce from my own soul, sanity and destiny and the path I always knew I was born to follow? The decision was not difficult once I reached surrender and found my wholeness within. Surrender because I could finally allow this pure, transformative, soul-shaking love to flow through me, allowing the path to unfold freely – and finding my wholeness because accepting the truth of union within allowed me to finally love and accept who I am fully. Furthermore, it no longer felt right to me to mix my essence and energy with anyone who does not know, love and match that which is eternal in me – and who is not going to step through the pearly gates with me once this life is over. My soul could want nothing more, nor accept anything less than this. It may sound silly – and it certainly will to those not on this journey – but it is truly what gives me peace and allows me to move deeper into the reality of this love, as well as manage the struggles of every day life without the man that I love.

This is the first time in over 20 years that I have been single. Like many others, I have moved from one long term relationship to another without ever having the time to get to know myself – one on one. I am aware that I join an increasing number of self-realized women who embody their inner Goddess to varying degrees but who are at this moment in time unable to find a man to match their vibration, because the man who once did and who continues to call to their soul is still caught up in a lower vibrational situation. I remain open to meeting my eternal lover in this lifetime if such has been planned for me, whether that person is my Twin flame or someone else. Only God knows. All I know, it was not my husband.

Having said this, I am not waiting for anything or anyone. I simply want my soul to lead me further down this path and to show me just how deeply I can love and what that love feels like when it shines a light upon the still unexplored places still within me.

As for my Twin, I love him, *oh so much* but I also know we are not “meant to be together” right now just because of the Twin flame label. The Universe is all about energy and vibration. I sincerely hope we can meet in that vibration of unconditional love once more within this lifetime – but having said that, I trust that he is exactly where he needs to be in this moment. He is still in alignment with his past, but things are shifting. Until then, I want his 3D persona to be absolutely free of any pressure; so much so that I have kept the status of my marriage to myself.

To all the soul brothers and sisters walking this path with me, I honor you for remembering that the most important relationship you have is with your Self. Please do not lose it to uphold an institution.

Divorce is never easy. I know.

But I trust that there is a greater plan for me. Instead of focusing on the negatives, I ask the Universe to guide me on the path to Union.

I reclaim my life.

I reclaim my path.

I reclaim the Union within.


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17 Responses to The Married Twin Flame & Divorce – Aligning with the Truth Within

  1. mamata26 says:

    A wonderful piece! Amazing to see such fundamental truths of Twin Flame journey – which many experience within – being written in letter.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Sakura Xia says:

    Thank you for this. You are very courageous. Do you have children? I have three, the youngest is 3yrs old. I stay for them and feel this is right for me at the time.


    • doucejonna says:

      Thank you Sakura. It’s not easy but I did a lot of work on self love these past few years. Yes, I have children, three in fact just like you 🙂 – My youngest was only 2 when we separated, the others barely 5 and 7. But I have to say, my husband was not around a lot the last 2 years of our marriage. He was working away, and would often leave us for months at a time with barely 24 hour’s notice. It was hell. I was already doing everything, financially and emotionally for me and the children. Had been for a long time. I live in a foreign country with no (or very little) support network. In fact, my support network was mostly people from my husband’s congregation so obviously once we separated that was it. My family is 2,000 miles away. But I put up with a lot for so many years, I truly gave my marriage my all.. It just came to a point where I felt I had no choice. My husband’s hurtful behavior and his “whatever” attitude to everything including his cheating etc. really conflicted with the love & care I felt for my soul. The inner pressure to leave was tremendous. And so I did.. But it took me two years from the point of knowing I would have to do it for the events to take place that gave me that opportunity. I think you are where you need to be right now – do what feels right for you. It’s good to go with the flow – just make sure you are safe and don’t lose yourself in the process. I know what it’s like to have three little souls to think about too. There is a time for everything. Sending you and your little ones lots of love! xx

      Liked by 1 person

      • Sakura Xia says:

        Oh wow, yes a very difficult situation for you! My youngest was 2 when I met my twin. My other two are 6 and 8 (almost 9) now. My husband does not treat me badly, nor has he cheated or done anything except be nasty when I told him about my twin (which he still doesn’t understand). I have family close by but in my last marriage they were thousands of miles away and such distance can be very hard. I have been through divorce before so I know how it works and with my kids so young and my husband being so accommodating, I just can’t do it yet. I want to, though, but just thinking about it makes me sick so I know it is not the right time. I assume you kept your children with you? I would not be able to do that. 😦


      • doucejonna says:

        Hi Sakura, I am sorry your husband is not more understanding – maybe he will come around in time? It’s hard to understand, I guess it brings out his insecurities too. 😕It is a chance for growth for him too. I am sure as time goes on you will get stronger and more clear on how you can take this next step in your journey. Take your time, listen to the signs and signals from the Universe. Work on self love, there’s some really good stuff out there on the internet to truly give you the feel for how to honour and love yourself. 😍
        Just like you I would never have left without my children, never ever. They have always been with me and even now stay with me 100% of the time. They are my life. 💗💗 Wishing you well on your path xx

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Lily says:

    Thank you for expressing the truth in my soul with such grace. Ending my marriage was difficult. Knowing the journey brings life, even with its uncertainties, gives me courage. Wishing you and your loved ones well as you continue forward.


  4. Light Warrior says:

    Thank you very much for this amazing heartfelt message. It is very timely as I’m going through the exact situation. It is indeed very challenging, especially when there is nothing wrong with the current situation and you have souls (3 in fact, just like you) to counter into your life decisions. But then again how do we define what a wrong situation is, especially if there is no ‘ready’ alternative. I wouldn’t wreck a family, even if it sounds ridiculously selfless, to pursue my own happiness and emotional and spiritual fulfillment. Not unless the Universe shouts that it is the right time, including my twin-flame who I know has become the runner and so is not ready. I will continue to wish for that unity to materialize and pursue spiritual growth but if the timing is not right, I don’t think it is wise to disrupt an entire family. Not just yet. Sending you love and light.


  5. Pingback: The Married Twin Flame & Divorce – Aligning with the Truth Within | Mirror of My Soul – Stories of You, Me and Eternity | Still Shining Now

  6. alda says:

    Thank you Jonna , I appreciate much that you started writing again ! For this reason I should like to comment, something I never do . I divorced also before two years, and I get pusht by the universe/ my soul . I could not resist it, it was a very strange feeling. I also get guided with many articles which were popping up suddenly about divorce etc. Anyway I could not stay also anymore in a marriage, with so much love in my heart for another man……I am asking myself how other people can live this way. For me it would be living everydag in a big lie, and not living your truth, which is for me personal not possible. My twin with who I am for almost 3 years in full separation , is still in his ( not loving ) marriage although he is awakened, but out of social and family reasons till now he can not take this big step. I have my guidance and strong inner knowing and know that one day also he will get pusht by his soul or the universe to choose for his own happiness. Of. course I have my up and downs but in general I have an inner peace with everything and have my freedom and happiness in my soul. To finish I will share with you that the next morning when my husband has left I had an angel exactly in the middle of my garden in front of my house. A present from the universe for the big step I had made and the trust I have in the universe. With love


  7. Bluebell says:

    I left marriage 3 years ago. I could not have stayed any longer, things were becoming very difficult. I could not stand to be touched, I needed my own space and quietness around me. No children so an easier decision to make but I walked away with no job, little money and a sense of guilt. Very glad I did though, I really felt a deadline to go away by, life has been good since although very much on my own.


  8. Slava says:

    I resonate with this 100% percent! “Divorce is Not a bad Word” is a book title I came up with after I signed my divorce papers, I even have an idea for the cover photo. It’s been so liberating to come back to myself, the greatest love of all indeed! Love the choice of song, thank you so much for sharing! ❤ When we move where the soul leads us to, the journey is an effortless flow.


  9. Steph Ev says:

    I’m extremely thankful for this article and the comments. I want to be with my twin someday but not right now, which other twin flame blogs say is running. The thing is, I’m finally facing many of my problems. I’m working though depression and past abuse. I’m working a 12 step program for co-dependency. I’m learning about myself through regular meditation practice. I’m reading tons of books about esoteric topics and learning new things every day. In addition, my twin and I are married to other people and there are kids involved. My husband is a wonderful, smart, sweet, supportive man and I can’t imagine just walking away from my marriage without truly seeing it through.

    Other twin flame websites talk about one person running while the other person chases and make me feel like I’m letting down humanity if I don’t want to be with my twin RIGHT NOW, which just doesn’t resonate with me. I don’t think either one of us is running or chasing. My intuition tells me to work on myself, appreciate the family I have, increase my frequency, etc. My twin occupies a very special place in my heart and I’ll always love and appreciate our connection. I pray for the best possible outcome for all involved and hope that as I raise my vibration, my life will move forward just as it’s supposed to. This article really speaks to the many facets of actual situations and I very much appreciate that.


  10. myster8 says:

    Really great reading. I made it through my divorce last year after a 3 year separation which I knew I had to do almost immediately after physically meeting my Twin. I didn’t know she was my Twin yet, but my energy had been changing just from our texting and conversations before we ever physically met. I treated the decision to leave my marriage as separate from my Twin issues, meaning that I didn’t expect her to leave her boyfriend (then husband) at the time (she never did.) But I just had to make my own decisions that I had outgrown my marriage and that I certainly couldn’t continue existing in it with this other person living in me 24 hours a day (she still does.) I feel a lot of relief and peace after getting through the divorce and I held the intention of wishing the best for everyone involved throughout. It made a world of difference and my ex and I are fairly amicable and raising our son very well. I consider us to be life partners but in a friendship/parenting context now. I still wish my Twin the best and feel her often. The synchronicities never stop, but I am mostly at peace with whatever path is before me. I feel I made it back to the present for the first time in 20 something years. Thanks again for your words!


  11. Vivie says:

    Hyvää päivää Jonna!

    Mitä kuuluu?
    I simply wanted to let you know about the version of a song that makes me think about your story of Love.

    Hyvää päivänjatkoa!

    Cheers, El hamdu lillah 💛


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