Mirror of my soul – Stories of you, me, the world and eternity

As humanity evolves and ascends into a higher vibration, relationships are changing too. The expansion of consciousness brings with it a broader understanding of the different ways we relate to and connect with each other.  As we move into the 4th and 5th dimensions, the old paradigm relationships of the 3D consciousness are crumbling, causing many to question the many inherited symbolic systems which govern our lives today.

One of the systems in need of being redefined during this time of rapid spiritual evolution is the old stereotypical concept of marriage. Marriage today has become a contract, an institution of society, and the couple a property of that society. Not so long ago, people still married for the sole purpose of ensuring their physical survival or to obtain an heir, and although people still marry for external reasons (money, family, social status etc.), many now enter into marriage in order to pursue emotional fulfillment and spiritual growth. But if marriage is the ideal platform for this then why are so many marriages failing? The thing about spiritual growth is, it can make us incompatible with someone we used to be in harmony with. Since spiritual growth is accelerating and humanity awakening, more and more people are working through their karmic lessons and “outgrowing” their marriages faster than ever before. As such, marriage as it exists today here on Earth is not meant to last forever – but only until the full potential for growth has been reached which often isn’t “until death do us part”.

Underlying the disintegration of marriage is the spiritual amnesia we all suffer from to varying degrees. Humanity has forgotten it’s true nature and with it, the true meaning of marriage. Marriage as God intended is a sacred union of two souls, created for each other, with each other. It’s a Union where God sets the balance between the two. Unfortunately very few marriages today are founded upon the resonance of souls. This is where many of us feel our calling is: in bringing forth a partnership where true love is that of the soul and where our love for our partner mirrors our relationship with our Self and God to the most intimate degree, allowing for endless spiritual and emotional growth and discovery. This is not the template of a relationship but of a union which awakens the divine sparkle within us and draws our divine counterpart to us, reminding us of the eternal life which awaits us once our shared mission here on Earth is complete.

Since consciousness is the basis of all reality, any shift in consciousness changes every aspect of our reality. Meeting our beloved is definitely such a shift; they catalyze our spiritual awakening and cause total upheaval in every area of our lives. It only takes one second, one moment for the memories of real, unbridled love to come rushing back. These feelings originate in the soul and spread like fire to the rest of the body. They push us onto a guest for a more authentic life; helping us see beyond the illusions. We find ourselves questioning everything; not only who we are and what we are doing, but also the decisions we’ve made in the past, including whether and whom to marry.

Meeting our beloved when already married is truly a test of fire – just like our soul intended. The omnipotent, cellular level awakening we experience causes our vibration, awareness and energy to immediately jump up a notch – or a dozen – making us acutely aware of the energetic suppression we’ve been living under. The soul is adamant: it wants resonance, it wants freedom, it wants union – and it wants it NOW.

The souls magnetize each other and we truly feel the magical Universe at play through the synchronicities and signs that surround us. Maybe like many others it is being made clear to us, from within, that it is time to leave our marriage – not because of the promise of a blissful Union but because our own soul demands it. The soul does not make mistakes. It knows the path it wants to follow.

Many bolt out of existing relationships upon meeting their beloved since they can no longer find alignment with the old. The call to return to our original state of Oneness is so intoxicating, and the otherworldly soul connection to the other felt so strongly that staying in the old relationship becomes unbearable. Every second, every minute we are aware of the pressure upon us to follow the call to be who we really are, at the deepest level within us.

Unfortunately as the magnetic pull reverses signalling the start of the journey within, many find themselves returning to these old relationships – not because we fell out of love with our beloved but because all the hurt and disappointment we caused our partner and the other important people in our lives finally catches up with us. Subconsciously we know there is still unfinished business to work through. We retreat into the “safety” of our old paradigm marriage, where we hide and try to make sense of things, protected by the society which demands we do the “right thing” and remain with the person whom we promised our life.

This pattern is a sign of old energy that needs resolving. It is resistance to our own evolution. There is no right or wrong way here – just more work to do and lessons to learn. Ironically, once the dust settles, we may be surprised to find that the marriage seems better in many ways; our spouse may be awakening too, there may be less conflict, and things generally seem to flow better. Of course, this is not because the spouse changed but because we changed, our perception changed – and in turn it affected the whole relationship dynamic. And even though we realize we can never quite go back to the way things used to be, we feel relieved being able to carry on in a marriage where we feel safe and secure but which also does not require us to “invest” ourselves like the “Twin flame” union does.

Yet as the time goes by… We still find ourselves thinking about this wondrous person who flipped our world upside down, wondering what went wrong and why they could not be a part of our life. They are still the first person we want to run to with news of our greatest joys and deepest sorrows – and the one whose energy we seek when we want to calm our spirit. We may feel their heartbeat inside our own, or pain in our heart when they intimately give themselves to someone else. We may hear them speak to us and feel the warmth of their presence in our heart. The impact of such an encounter on the energetic body simply cannot be undone or permanently ignored.

This is where the two paths separate. For some, this will be a moment of truth, a recognition of the staying power of this connection; a realization that this person will always be a part of their being, whether they like it or not. These people will do their best to find a way to include their beloved in their life, for the benefit of everyone involved. Rather than hide the connection, they may even come out to their spouse about it. For them it may not feel right to leave just yet; maybe there are children to consider, or  simply more growth to be done.

Then there are those who miss their beloved just as much but who are determined to keep this person away from their marriage; not because they worry about that person crossing any lines but because they do not trust themselves not to. The connection is still there, alive and kicking, but suppressed underneath feelings of guilt, duty and responsibility towards the spouse. Even if they do want to reach out, they cannot find the words, frustrated at not being able to express their true heart – or for fear of opening the can of worms that they perceive this connection to be. They may feel confident that they are doing the right thing, yet they still feel stuck. They may not even realize this has anything to do with the other, but they find themselves spending more and more time away from home. Sex and intimacy become a struggle. Health problems crop up – often for them and their spouse; abdominal pains, sciatica, headaches, pain in the legs, feet and lower back – all just a reflection of how stuck they feel emotionally. Since their creativity up and left with the beloved they find themselves moving completely into their head space – after all, the twin now occupies the heart space they refuse to visit.

To occupy their mind they throw themselves into religion, politics, work, studies; into anything else that they can obsess over and fill their mind space with. Deep within they know they really should be honest with everyone and end the marriage for that one true chance at happiness – yet what is holding them back is that long shared history, no matter how unhappy or unfulfilling. They feel that they owe it to their spouse to “stick it out.” Maybe this is the one promise they hold sacred above all others? Maybe they already tried to leave, more than once, and instead of compassion and understanding received emotional outbursts, suicide threats and more. They may feel like the worst person in the world, just for feeling this love within… I know many of you can relate. On top of everything, they know they have let their beloved down. They haven’t forgotten their promise of Union, made eons ago and reaffirmed in each incarnation. Deep within they have not given up on that promise; they are just postponing it… but to delay Union is a dangerous game that easily traps us for a lifetime.

Of course by now both these individuals realize that they will always carry a part of their beloved within; as an energy, a reflection and a presence, as an integral part of who they are. By deliberately disconnecting from that which is within, a divide now exists within their very own being. It dawns on them that the spouse will never be able to return that vibration of unconditional love to the same degree that the beloved could. No matter how much they may try, it will never be as nourishing, as deep, as intimate, as spiritual, as infused in God. Time and time again, the dilemma will continue to present itself: to keep the status quo and die a slow spiritual death only ever giving a part of yourself to the spouse – or to divorce and finally be fully who you are, with or without the beloved?

Making the decision to move on is a very difficult one. Feelings of confusion, guilt, hurt, betrayal, loss and emptiness will be daily companions throughout the process. The best advice I can give anyone in this situation is to follow your inner voice and look to God – not to anyone else – for guidance and direction. Ask God for smooth transitions and an outcome for the highest good of all. Also know that meeting your beloved does not always equal “happily ever after”. Union is a choice you both must make. You must understand this: there are no guarantees. It is possible in the course of a lifetime to meet many people of similar vibration or with whom you share a deep spiritual bond  – this does not always mean they are your beloved, nor does it necessarily translate into a compatible lifelong romantic relationship.

Nevertheless, beyond all the questions and moral dilemmas is the reality of Real Love. Is your beloved the One with forever in their eyes? Is it their face that appears before you as you call upon your beloved? Did you always know that you came here to reunite with your one true love? Has your soul confirmed this to you? It is not by mistake that they show up in your reality. You are both being given a chance to embody your highest self here on earth in THIS lifetime.. You are being shown that Union is possible – that it is within your reach. It is already something your soul aspires to. Why settle for anything less? Be brave and ask yourself: is it in the highest good of everyone to put blinders on and persist in a profoundly incompatible marriage, denying yourself and your spouse the chance to find true love; or to trust that small voice inside your heart which tells you to take that leap of faith and to follow the call home?

Real love is forever, it will never leave you. This journey only ever leads to one place: back to each other – and to God.

So many people know the truth of their heart yet fail to follow through. So many choose to stunt their growth by remaining in an unfulfilling marriage rather than to move on to new spiritual paths for fear of the unknown. This is the epidemic that still plagues the Twin flame community. I am not saying that a person should leave their marriage at the first sight of the twin, HOWEVER creating something new requires action and sacrifices and it is here that so many of us fall short. This journey demands we give it all. If we do not take the first step then who will? This is about YOU; about following the path you always believed in.

Divorce is not easy but so many obstacles can be cleared by remaining positive and holding the intention of the highest good for everyone involved. Personally, I cleared a tremendous hurdle on my journey this month. As you may recall I took the leap two years ago to leave my husband (I blogged about it here) for no other reason than to finally be who I am – including allowing the energies to flow within me freely. When I told my beloved about it at the time, he mentioned how ironic it was that I seemed to have “gone over the edge” whilst he was still “standing on it“. Two years on and for all I know, he may never take that leap but I must still follow what is true to me in my heart.

But he was right about one thing: I took that leap and never looked back!

The big news is that my divorce was finalized earlier this month, ironically just days before what should have been my 10th wedding anniversary.

It’s weight off my shoulders like you wouldn’t believe it.

And I can say, hand on heart, that the promise of a physical reunion with my beloved had very little to do with it.

I divorced because I was presented with a choice; me or my marriage. To stay married and forever deny a part of me, or to divorce for my own soul, sanity and destiny and the path I always knew I was born to follow? The decision was not difficult once I reached surrender and found my wholeness within. Surrender because I could finally allow this pure, transformative, soul-shaking love to flow through me, allowing the path to unfold freely – and finding my wholeness because accepting the truth of union within allowed me to finally love and accept who I am fully. Furthermore, it no longer felt right to me to mix my essence and energy with anyone who does not know, love and match that which is eternal in me – and who is not going to step through the pearly gates with me once this life is over. My soul could want nothing more, nor accept anything less than this. It may sound silly – and it certainly will to those not on this journey – but it is truly what gives me peace and allows me to move deeper into the reality of this love, as well as manage the struggles of every day life without the man that I love.

This is the first time in over 20 years that I have been single. Like many others, I have moved from one long term relationship to another without ever having the time to get to know myself – one on one. I am aware that I join an increasing number of self-realized women who embody the fullness of their inner being to varying degrees but who are at this moment in time unable to find a man to match their vibration, because the man who once did and who continues to call to their soul is still caught up in a lower vibrational situation. I remain open to meeting my eternal lover in this lifetime if such has been planned for me, whether that person is my beloved or someone else. Only God knows. All I know, it was not my husband.

Having said this, I am not waiting for anything or anyone. I simply want my soul to lead me further down this path and to show me just how deeply I can love and what that love feels like when it shines a light upon the still unexplored places still within me.

As for my beloved, I love him, *oh so much* but I also know we are not “meant to be together” right now just because of the “Twin flame” label. The Universe is all about energy and vibration. I sincerely hope we can meet in that vibration of unconditional love once more within this lifetime – but having said that, I trust that he is exactly where he needs to be in this moment. He is still in alignment with his past, but things are shifting. Until then, I want his 3D persona to be absolutely free of any pressure; so much so that I have kept the status of my marriage to myself.

To all the soul brothers and sisters walking this path with me, I honor you for remembering that the most important relationship you have is with your Self. Please do not lose it to uphold an institution.

Divorce is never easy. I know.

But I trust that there is a greater plan for me. Instead of focusing on the negatives, I ask the Universe to guide me on the path to Union.

I reclaim my life.

I reclaim my path.

I reclaim the Union within.