Although meeting our Twin flame ignites within us a stronger than ever yearning for “home”, for many of us the search for this elusive place started long before we ever heard the term “twin flames”. Perhaps you too recall moments where the distant memory of this place was triggered and you felt a deep longing, sadness or a desire to be somewhere you couldn’t consciously grasp or define? Perhaps like me, you too felt compelled to search for whatever it is that would fill that void and finally grant you inner peace?
My search for “home” started when I was a very small child…. Without knowing anything about reincarnation or even souls, I felt that for some reason I had ended up “in the wrong place”. This was not just about physical appearances (I was dark eyed/haired in a country of blue eyed and blonde haired people); I felt just as out of place inside. I was fascinated with other cultures and languages; particularly North Africa and the Arabic culture (incidentally, where my Twin grew up). From the age of about 7, I became aware of the presence of another being within my energetic space. In my dreams he would become a real person and. we would sit on top of sand dunes at moonlight looking down on sleepy towns, sharing our hopes and aspirations. Our togetherness, albeit imaginary, became the foundation of many of my childhood games, drawings and stories about eternal lovers hidden behind the veil of illusion; overcoming obstacles to finally be together.
My experience is by no means unusual: many of us maintain a REAL, living connection to our Twin flame YEARS before meeting them. After all, twin flames share the ability to reach out to each other through the boundaries of time and space and many are able to pick up on things, such as their twin’s name, or perhaps where they live. Later in life, some find themselves guided to travel or even to move to a different State, country or continent in order to cross paths with their twin flame. I am one of those who took such a leap of faith after I, aged 17, had a profound experience visiting Paris where I wept with joy feeling myself closer than ever to this elusive “home” I so yearned to find. It was there that I knew I had to settle; and it is there that I met my twin some six years later.
While being in Paris gave me a temporary sense of peace, I spent most of the year leading up to our meeting obsessively travelling the world as far and as wide as I could – and so did my twin. The sense of imminent arrival of this something I had searched for; this something I had wanted so long made me feel restless to the core, until one day, BOOM – there he was. HOME. I knew there and then that it was him that I had been searching for all my life. My life was complete.. I was complete. Needless to say, all my feelings of not belonging that had plagued me since my earliest childhood simply vanished with the realisation that this person -this ONE person – existed and by some miracle not only saw me fully but also loved & accepted what he saw 100%.
Was it a coincidence that we met? Absolutely not… The thing about the journey home is; you never just happen upon it. You have been on this path long before you ever awakened, long before you ever heard the term “twin flames”. In fact, the yearning for home is deeply ingrained within us and being with our Twin satisfies only part of this hunger through the sense of physical, emotional and spiritual nourishment that only they can provide. Our Twin FEELS LIKE HOME to us because they help awaken the memory of the vibration and energy that we held whilst in our original state back home. The desire of the soul to reunite with itself will always remain, however the craving for the original feeling of oneness with Source, or God will follow sooner or later – and it is here that our journey home truly begins.
Many of us may catch glimpses of “home”in meditation or in dreams and the yearning to return there may at times feel stronger than our desire to continue living in this third dimensional reality. For me and my twin, the yearning for home was felt long before we ever laid eyes on each other. It was also the catalyst for our first reunion, as well as a reoccurring element in our connection ever since.
When I spoke to my Twin for the very first time after ending my three years of running, he asked me: “Where is your home, Jonna?” It was a very poignant question because we were both restless travellers at that time, living thousands of miles away from our places of birth. There was no denying that he was the closest to home that I had ever known, and if there was someone on this planet who I knew would take me there, it was him.
His question stayed with me that night and caused me to write my first ever inspired piece of writing. The words just flowed, as if by Divine grace. I didn’t know much about Twin flames or anything spiritual for that matter but his question stirred something deep within me and I had no choice but to lay my soul bare, speaking about our connection for the first time. This is what I shared with him.
“I thought about our last conversation and especially about when you asked me where I felt my home was.
I have to admit I did not give you my truest reply. You see, nobody ever asked me “Where is your home?” I guess it’s quite ironic for someone who’s lived in and travelled to so many places. Nobody asked – only assumed. Maybe they thought they knew, maybe no one really cared. But you did: you asked. Now let me answer you from my heart.
I have felt this all my life. If there was ever something I knew for sure, this was it. The deep longing, the sadness; a strong desire to be somewhere I couldn’t quite consciously grasp or define. There was a knowing in my heart that I was born in the wrong place, under the wrong skies. This is not my soul’s true home, I thought.
Then came the questions without answers: why was I dreaming of faraway lands? Why did foreign languages come to me with such ease? Why did I identify so much with different cultures? I had the intense feeling that a part of me was somewhere out there, beckoning me … Something was missing and it was calling out to me.
The older I got the more intense the feeling. Then came the searching; yet not knowing what I was looking for. And the more places I visited, the more obvious it was. Yes, the travelling felt good but none of the places I visited was “home”. But I knew it was out there and the certainty of it kept me going.
You see, “Home” can mean different places to different people but wherever it is, be it a dimension, another universe or the return God, it is that inner space of the heart that gives you an incredible feeling of rightness and warmth within. For those who truly love, home is not a place, it’s a feeling. Home is where you are welcome, accepted and loved. It’s warm, relaxing and open. It’s where our truest selves step out and we can be completely and honestly who we are. It is a place filled with trust, patience and acceptance of each other’s weaknesses.
Home is where you don’t have to pretend or be on your guard. Instead of envy, irritation and exasperation, there is a great understanding, support, forgiveness and compassion. There is no judging, possessing, controlling, boundaries or competition. This is a place where you are loved more than you are needed.
One day you will all meet the person who will take you there. You will instantly know that you’ve known this person for eons, in many lifetimes and beyond. She is your polar opposite and like magnets you are being pulled together. Yet even in this most powerful energy field, you feel relaxed and totally at ease; engulfed in the warm security on a familiar ground. In their embrace you know you’ve come Home. Time and place are no longer matter.
There is an immediate tie between you which defies verbal description. You recognise yourself in them; those eyes you had looked upon so many times before in so many faces; so deep you could see their soul and touch the feeling of pure light and love inside. Like mirrors reflecting only your true self back to you.
Your mind, heart and consciousness flow together from the same fountain. She is not only a mirror of mind and spirit, but of the soul, the secret longings and aspirations. You love this person like you love yourself, with no expectations or conditions attached to that love – because you are One. You know that life will never be the same and you feel truly blessed.
She is someone who reads you like an open book, who understands you in ways no one else can. She doesn’t have that raised eyebrow look that the rest of the world does. It is because she knows you inside out, yet the discovery never stops. You share the same soul blueprint and soul energy, the same essence. The vision, feeling and purpose are the same. You are like the two sides of a coin: one but not the same. Together you create the perfect balance and become more than just the sum of your parts; each part fitting the other, interlocking like Roman rings, stretching but never snapping apart. When one moves inward the other fills the gap and when one overflows, there will always be space to send that abundance towards the other.
The power of her love is not in what she tells you to do, but in what you are inspired to be. The measure of her love is not in how much you are able to love her, but in the way you are able to love others as a result of it. She understands that you may need to journey deep within to recognise the other within yourself and that there may be some false turns and mistaken identities in the process. Therefore her love comes with the freedom to explore life with whomever you wish because she knows in the end it will help you find your way back HOME, to her.
This love will not come without its challenges. Being with this person is like cradling your sacred self, but also facing every shadow, every part of yourself, leaving you with nowhere to hide. It has the potential to inspire great inner healing but only through dealing with a part of yourself that you have chosen not to look at for quite some time: the mirror of YOU in the other that reflects all that is within you.
As your mirror, she will make you experience yourself directly, not through your past experiences, beliefs or ego, but through your heart and soul. She’ll make you dig deeper, reach higher, shed light on parts of you that are painful for you to see. She will have no choice but to make you expand and confront yourself. You must be made empty so that light can come in and fill you…
Some days you will be so lost that you wish she never existed and there are days you believe she never really did, except in your imagination. There will be days when you fail and those days will feel like you are going mad. Other days the mirage transforms itself into the oasis just long enough for you to rest a moment in her arms; just enough to simply “be” and feel her as a part of YOU again.
Sometimes we have to travel long and far before we recognize our true home. We may pass it by like a ship in the night. Maybe we are not ready to face it, maybe we are scared. We do not believe it is possible, we doubt it… So we run from it and keep travelling, searching for a place that feels like home, but isn’t… While we travel, our soul’s flame burns brightly, lighting the way for all parts of the soul that are in separation to return home to the heart of the soul.
So if you ask me where my home is, this is my answer”.
Within weeks of sharing the above with my Twin, we shared a beautiful and intense reunion. Years later, he is still the closest thing to home that I have ever known and I know one day we will return “home” together. For me, our ultimate homecoming will be the return to our original state of Oneness; a return to source, to our eternal life. Seeing the twin flame connection and all its challenges and blessings as simple steps towards this return gives me a sense of peace that I might otherwise have struggled to gain.
Please be reassured that even if your Twin flame is not physically part of your life, there IS comfort to be found in their energetic and spiritual presence. Earth itself begins to feel more like home, just because they are here. You see, the journey home takes us beyond the desire of a physical connection into the fulfilment of a “deeper longing than the flesh”; that of a shared consciousness. At this level you are already ONE; you are already in UNION – even when everything else is up for grabs. Even when your Twin flame is not physically present, you can still heal, evolve and continue to live without feeling like you are missing something inside. In fact, the twin is within you for you to connect with; for you to enjoy and love, be it near or far. Settling into this joyous realization is part of coming home.