Awaken dear soul and release your illusion
Seeking love in the world only leads to confusion,
Instead put your faith in the grace divine
Trust the invitation with your destiny to align,
Listen to the silent voice that whispers in your heart
“I am always here, we are never apart”.
In the naked truth of our eternal connection
The soul recognizes its truest reflection,
After all these years you still have me awed
You are close to me like the breath of God,
And it is there in our closeness that we find
the elusive marriage of the heart and mind
where behind the story of our mind’s creation
lies awaiting the path to eternal salvation.
Love from the eternal plains descended to life
Planted between the hearts of a man and his wife,
What was born out of just one look from your eyes
with true love transforms to a promise of Paradise,
For it is only once we experience love for God’s pleasure
That we receive the guarantee of JOY beyond measure,
In the celestial realms of beauty sublime
in our eternal home outside of space and time.
You have ignited in me the flames of desire
Now burning my senses with passion and fire,
So surrender your struggle and give up this trying
For your immortal heart can never fear dying,
Our love like the phoenix reborn from the ashes
Our illusion of reality into oblivion crashes.
When you finally accept there in your heart
The perfection you are, as I’ve known from the start,
Our love will have lived through its own resurrection
The immortal soul purified for its final ascension,
Then every measure of our love and affection
glorified returns to the Source of perfection,
For there in the Oneness of our souls entwining
Lies the pathway home to the City of Lights Blinding.
So many spiritual paths, while seeking the same closeness with the Creator, still manage to uphold the illusion of separation. God is made into something so vast, so unattainable, that we forget and are discouraged from exercising our own ability to reach into the spiritual realms, to reach God and to commune with Him, where in truth this close relationship with Him is needed.
The meeting with our beloved is in many ways an invitation from God to re-establish this personal relationship since it offers not only the potential for self-realization but also for the realization of God. Just like the twin flame reunion first happens in consciousness before a physical reunion of the two human individuals can happen, the closeness with God is a prerequisite of our lasting union with our beloved, to be realized through the process of surrender.
To truly start to yearn for God, God must at some point give us a glimpse of His sublime existence. The predestined meeting of the twins happens for the very purpose of igniting this longing within both; however we rarely realize that it is God that we are in longing for and instead associate all our longing and love with our twin. When we seek to know God in this way (initially disguised as a longing for our beloved) this progressively expands the consciousness of the two souls. Furthermore, the strong bonding this creates between the coupling guarantees the accomplishment of the spiritual purpose behind the meeting regardless of whether the two individuals are outwardly ready to complete the work or not.
Part of this expansion is the humble realization that our beloved was sent to us by God to challenge us and to awaken us so that we could be guided back into Union, into our eternal life and home to God. In the spiritual realms, the twins work together towards achieving this goal, however on the physical plane it takes a certain level of spiritual maturity to be able to discern the intricate way in which God and the lovers themselves guide each other by using the mirror effect as a tool for triggering and healing. As such, the physical plane is only ever a reflection of what God needs the two souls do in order to better serve the union and the shared mission to anchor a higher love from the spiritual realms into the physical realm.
In the same way that being a twin flame provides us with a vehicle of transcendence and ultimately ascension rather than a guarantee of romantic bliss on earth, the source of the immense love that we see reflected in our beloved can only be found by seeking within; since searching for the love that heals the world in the world which is the result of the illusion of separation only creates more illusions. Only pure unconditional love can elevate us and purify our heart in preparation for the ascension back to God. As part of the process we must come to realize our own wholeness and our own perfection because if we don’t, we remain unable to accept the very love that we crave, since the love that we are able to accept directly equates to the love that we are able to give our self.
The divine conspiracy
For the first 25 years of my life I had no idea that a person could reach into the realm of the divine and sublime and experience God in a way that I now know to be true. I was brought up as an atheist and so the whole idea of God or of people having faith in a God seemed ludicrous and foolish to me. Then I met my beloved.
In meeting him, I felt within me but also emanating from him a LOVE so huge and so unlike any that I had ever known. He was like the Sun that warmed up all the unloved, hidden parts of my heart and soul covered by eternal ice, never to be rediscovered, always to be kept from the Light. The feelings of recognition, belonging, and remembrance, of unconditional love, acceptance, friendship and passion knocked me into another dimension. It seemed as if the whole Universe, God, had conspired to bring us together.
I had never felt the closeness of God, or anything remotely like it, but suddenly I caught myself feeling complete, at one with him, the world and with God. All my feelings of not belonging that had plagued me since my earliest childhood suddenly dissipated in the comfort of our immediate and timeless connection and in the call to return “home” emanating from the cosmos which reassured me that this was the love that I had been waiting for all my life. I felt the divine seed within me start to awaken, and I realised that the God that I had denied existed was not in the unattainable vastness of the celestial realms but fully conscious and fully present in me. Clearly this God knew me better than I knew myself by not only sending me my perfect reflection but also the physical manifestation of the person I had loved since the beginning of time. My beloved was so perfect in my eyes that only perfection itself could have created him – of this I was convinced.
Yearning for Oneness
Unfortunately what often follows these shortly lived moments of love, friendship and passion is the inevitable separation – and our story is no different. With our beloved we are so close to the intensity of Oneness of God that nothing other than pure love can withstand it. When we are not able to remain in the high vibration of unconditional love, the magnetic pulls simply reverses and creates repulsion. The reason this happens is that God, just like our beloved, cannot give us our answers until we set ourselves in the correct position towards them. Both are here to point to the answers that are already within us. We are only meant to search within, to get to know ourselves and our own truth, to fully connect with the divine guidance in our hearts, which in turn leads us Home to our beloved and God.
The thing is; when the longing and memory of LOVE of such magnitude is in a person’s heart and when one has tasted such love then one will do everything to feel that love again. Everything, that is, except to face their own soul, their own pain – initially at least. Many get caught in the illusion that somehow they can avoid their internal work and instead seek to find that feeling of fulfilment and nourishment either by pursuing their beloved or by throwing themselves into other relationships, work, casual sex etc. I was no different. Instead of facing myself head on, I fell back into my old relationship, and then eventually into a new one.
Nevertheless, while the soul never stops seeking wholeness, sooner or later it also starts to yearn for the original feeling of Oneness with its source. While it is undeniably the voice of our beloved which beckons to us from the dark when we stand on the edge of surrender, only the closeness with God can fill every empty place, every feeling that is less than whole, less than perfect. In surrender, we reclaim this closeness by releasing our illusion of separation by rising into Oneness with God. It is here that we realize why our beloved has been kept away from us. It is because God does not want us to depend on anyone else for our sense of completion, or for being able to connect with the flow of God’s love within us. We are to recognize the source of these things within our own being first. My beloved once asked me how I had come to know God if I had not read any spiritual books, followed any gurus, or read any Holy Books. To put it simply, since it was with him that I first experienced the closeness of God, I sought God because it was the only way for me to stay close to him. There was no way for me to separate who he is to me from my connection with God. They were always part of the same experience, of the same love.
There is a saying that a woman’s heart must be so lost in God that a man must seek HIM in order to find her – and truly this is what happened. Through my surrender, I gave myself completely to God’s will. He took my emptiness and filled my heart with love and spiritual insights until this love started to overflow. I understood that it had been my error to seek my wholeness through my beloved before finding it within myself. I was then able to go on with my life, safe in the knowing that if my beloved also committed to his evolution and surrendered to God, he too would recognise me as the one who God sent to guide him to salvation.
Once we come to trust the divine plan in place and seek to align ourselves with it, we can simply allow this love to flow freely, without triggers, without expectations, without dilemmas. Knowing that this love comes from our own closeness with God, nothing anyone can do or say can take it away from us. Then once we focus this love towards divine service, then all other life, including our beloved, responds in patterns of their own perfection. This love is then delivered to the world in a joyful act of worship which helps uplift others and points them towards the one clear answer – closeness with God.
On my journey I have learned that the path to true and lasting union is for both individuals, together or apart, to first achieve wholeness within. Both twins must feel these things on their own and must come to recognize themselves as part of the equation, within the bigger plan that God has for them. Ultimately, the union with our beloved is only a reflection of our own togetherness in love with God, which once sealed in the celestial realms has no choice but to manifest into the physical plane as such is the divine law: as above, so below; as within, so without.
Each set of twin flames goes through a period of preparation leading up to their reunion. Having fully surrendered, they enter the flow of synchronistic & predestined events, finding themselves increasingly empowered and guided by a higher power. This is the magical path from surrender into illumination where many lessons are finally understood, where insights and events bring about validation and awareness, and where the twins align with the vibration of the Twin flame Sacred Heart and Consciousness.
Since I wrote about the positive direction my own path has recently taken, many automatically assumed that the shift happened because my twin had finally “got it”. Unfortunately, this perception that our twin flame is somehow the culprit to our reunion not happening is both misleading and counterproductive. Rather, what enabled the shift was BOTH of us consciously seeking to take FULL accountability for ourselves, as well as our part in bringing about balance within our connection. Personally, I came into realization about who I am, about how I perceive and create my own reality and then consciously sought to align these with the KNOW WHAT YOU KNOW of my heart. Here is my story of the events and realizations which catalysed these changes.
You are responsible for giving yourself the love that YOU need
Almost a decade ago, I spent 18 months trying to build a relationship with my twin and failing at it. I grew increasingly frustrated at his contradictions and not knowing which foot to dance on with him. While he insisted on how much our “close friendship” meant to him, he kept pushing me away using my supposed “expectations” as an excuse. In the end, the emotional price simply became too much to pay and so I jumped at a chance to marry and build a life with someone else. This life, while not fully reflecting who I was inside, provided me with a respite and a temporary escape from the connection – and more importantly, gave me the family I had always wanted. Not realizing it at the time, I acted in perfect reflection to my twin who at the time reverted to his “safe” marriage where he was not able to be his full authentic self but which did not come with the intense fire brought on by the mirror of his soul.
It wasn’t until crisis after crisis started to appear in my life at a fast succession now nearly 2 years ago that I became aware of all the time that had passed. I knew in no uncertain terms this was my wake-up call from the universe. After six months of personal hell, I ended up critically ill in hospital. On that very day, my twin sent me a letter telling me about “a positive image, reflection and energy” of me which he carries within him wherever he goes. It was the first time in 8 years he mentioned our connection and the first I’d heard from him in over 18 months. However as I lay in hospital ravaged by a potentially deadly infection and recovering from major surgery, he was the last thing on my mind. I simply felt numb and I knew things had to change.
During my slow recovery I could hardly muster the energy to do anything other than the bare minimum to look after my job and children. Underneath it all I just wanted to find myself again. Inspired by a YouTube video, I started doing only things that a self-loving person would do. I would ask myself “What would a person with self-love do?” and go by that. As I made loving choices for myself, I began to feel my whole and complete self being activated and my soul began to feel free. I finally understood that it was MY responsibility to give myself all the love that I needed. I could not expect anyone to fully love me if I did not first fully love myself.
As I started to love and recognize myself more, I moved from making small positive changes to making bigger changes to create a more balanced, loving life for myself and my children. Eventually I made the decision to leave my marriage as I finally had enough self-love to recognise all the ways in which it did not serve my highest good.
You are already whole and at One with your Twin Flame
It didn’t take me long to notice that the more I did things that I loved and that brought out the real me the more I was feeling my twin as part of me; always present when I was present. It was more than just a lingering static memory of him; it was his actual loving, reassuring presence and energy completely entwined and interacting with mine. The more I became my true Self, the more I was moving into closeness with him – and with God. This led me to the deep realisation that the disconnection from him all those years ago had actually led to a disconnection from my Self. This was the first of many Aha moments to come.
It hit me that this reflection, this part of him that I carry within me will never cease to be magnetised by the whole that is him because it is part of him. And I will never cease to long and ache for the part of me that he carries with him, because such is the divine rule; that all that which has been separated from God must return to him. I knew now that I would never return to the way I was before I knew him since this connection would ALWAYS be there. It is forever. I understood that to find peace and wholeness within myself I needed to accept who he is to me. The choice was mine: to accept and deal with it; or to live a life of pain exiled from my own wholeness?
I realized that the Twin Flame reunion is an inside job. Undeniably since we are part of each other, to gain balance within our greater One-Soul, we must first gain balance within. It is only by creating harmony within that we can bring about harmony without. As I remembered the words in his recent email, I wondered whether he was feeling this same oneness with me that I was now recognizing within myself.
3. You can change your reality by changing your perception
With the realization of my own wholeness, the feeling of my twin being very close to me at heart level became very real, and I was feeling him moving closer and closer with each breath. Spirit was now nudging me to approach him and so seven months after his email I wrote and told him about the events of the past year. He replied, saying he hoped I still considered him a close friend and how he wished that I had told him about my illness so he could have come and looked after the house and kids. I was perplexed. How was he still, after almost a decade of little or no contact talking about our “close friendship”? Surely he hadn’t expected that I would contact him in time of need after he had constantly failed to show up for me in the past? This puzzled me a great deal.
In his email he also told me how sad he was that I never had the time to see/catch up with him. It dawned on me that he had asked to speak to me, to see me or to catch-up with me in almost every email during the past 8 years, and that I had simply ignored these requests without any explanation. I suddenly felt like he deserved to hear my reasons and so I wrote to him again, telling him the simple truth, which was that I could not consolidate him with the rest of my life, and how seeing him would bring into ruins the life that I had so carefully built for myself. It was the first time that I had been able to be honest with myself, let alone him, about the pain that I still carried. However as I wrote the words down, I knew I no longer wanted to be afraid.
He replied saying he hoped my dilemma would never get in the way of our common ground, shared values and dreams. I was even more puzzled. This was not the first time he had told me this. Why did he keep on talking about our shared values and dreams when clearly he had never wanted to nor had any time to share them with me? I was now seriously questioning my interpretation of past events, choices, words etc. I was so puzzled that I read through nearly a hundred of our old emails and suddenly a new level of understanding and consciousness was bestowed upon me. My understanding suddenly shifted and I saw both him and myself with new eyes.
You are not your story – and neither is your twin
I realized all the ways in which, my vision blurred by my own ego, I had misinterpreted and even completely misread his words and reacted to him from a place of fear & ego rather than love. Things, conversations, moments all came back to me. The first thing I saw were all the ways in which I had simply not been ready or mature enough to step into my union. Having blamed him for 12 years for being the “runner”, I could now see that I had been the runner all along and that I had been just as scared and unprepared for the intensity of this connection than he had! My heart melted in compassion for him as my renewed understanding towards my own behavior allowed me to deeply understand his.
I could see how our long separation had been both necessary and inevitable. I also saw that his past and current withdrawals had nothing to do with me but rather with the intensity of having to face himself. Certainly I was not the victim here; it was just a story I had been telling myself. At last, I made the decision to finally release all the false stories, beliefs, roles and personas and to fully embrace WHO I ALREADY AM. As I did this I felt free; free from want, from sadness, from my restless search, from all the conditions and barriers that I had set up for myself when I hadn’t known my own power, or the power of God, yet.
5. Your twin flame is of divine service to you, as you are to him
I had been quick to assume that my twin was the unconscious one who either failed to see the truth or who denied it, however I was now bestowed with the knowing that he had always known about our connection, just like I had, and that all this time he had been waiting for me to come into this same awareness. I finally understood that this validation regarding his feelings could never have come from him – it could only come from realizing the truth of our One-soul where our love is always felt and experienced as a One.
Clearly, his love for me was just as unexplainable to him as my love for him was to me. He had always, regardless of circumstances, loved me and cared about me – I no longer needed to hear it, I could feel it. He had always showed up to guide me past the thresholds of the various stages and realizations of our journey, facing me in his own way, in order to serve our spiritual growth. I saw how by triggering and challenging me, he had always invited me to heal, to connect with my true self and to face my fears. He always knew just what to do/say to get me to expand in the love.
My twin flame had always been my biggest champion, my biggest ally and my closest friend even when appearances had me believe the contrary. I realised that it was him who by not being there taught me to seek and find comfort within our shared inner space; it was him who by triggering all that was unhealed within me taught me how to heal it; it was him who by turning down my love taught me that it needed to be returned to God; it was him who by withdrawing his love from me taught me that I did not need anyone’s permission to give it to myself; and it was him who by allowing our separation to go on for nearly a decade guided me to a place outside of time where we are never separate.
I suddenly felt humbled and immensely grateful as I realized that all this time he had been of Divine Service to me. He had awakened me, reminded me who I am, taught me the meaning of true love, and then called me home to him, to God and to Divine service so beautifully. I felt such deep love and reverence for him. This love filled all my empty spaces and started overflowing everywhere and I prayed to God that I could be of such Divine Service to my Twin in return. I wanted to always be there for his growth for the greater good of all, whatever it took. I now trusted him fully, and I could finally sigh in relief – we are in this together, no matter what.
6. You set the standard for how you show up in the connection
I had always known he was my mirror but I was now starting to see the precision with which the mirroring happens. I saw the internal balance and vibration that we BOTH had to demonstrate to be able to come together and I started to relax in the knowing that if I could balance the inner, the outer would alter in reflection, and that if I increased my vibration, he would have no choice but to do the same.
I felt like there was still a way to go to for things to fully fall into place, however in the meantime I decided to set a new standard for how I show up in the connection. I vowed to remain centered and connected and to meet whatever arises with love, compassion and honesty. I would no longer pussyfoot around him or treat him like some emotionally and spiritually impaired person who is afraid of my love, my passion, my feelings, or expectations, and I would no longer censor my words, emotions or experiences for fear of scaring him away. That energy had only ever created doubt and confusion between us. Instead, I would only emanate the power of knowing what I know and I had absolute faith that he would reflect it back to me. If he didn’t then it simply wasn’t time yet.
I wanted to reach out to him, to let him know that I now take full responsibility for my part and acknowledge all the ways in which I had contributed to the imbalance between us. I offered to meet him. No reply. I sent him my phone number: no reply. I was intrigued. Why was he suddenly silent? I could feel the energy between us pulsing with something unprecedented. Little did I know that once again he knew exactly what to do in order to get me to fully open up to this new awareness within me. His silence literally pulled the truth out of me.
7. It is by knowing WHAT YOU KNOW and by owning it that both you and your twin will be lifted out of confusion into alignment with your destiny.
With a whole new level of transparency and accountability, I wrote him a long, heart-felt letter. I didn’t ask, beg, hope or make any demands – I simply told him everything and invited him to take my hand and rise in love. I was responding to a higher calling, to a sense of belonging and being where I need to be, not only in the greater scale of things but within my own journey. I felt like a bird who never questions its existence or path yet which without any hesitation simply arises high into the sky and allows the warm winds to carry it to its destination.
I knew I did not want him back at any less than his fullest and truest self and he could take all the time and space he needed to get there. I knew that in the meantime God would continue to guide me and provide me with all the love that I needed. However, if I was hearing this call to return to him in order to align with the divine plan, then as part of the One-soul he had to be hearing that same call. There was NO OTHER WAY. Therefore, wasn’t I simply claiming our destiny by asking him to join forces with me on the outside like he had done on the inside?
I knew my email was a signal which would tell him that it was time to come HOME. I was truly calling forth his divine masculine to match my divine feminine; I was now a Queen ready for my King to return home to rule the Kingdom that we had built together. No matter what, we would end up being ONLY LOVE, vibrating together in the heart of God in our eternal Oneness and Life. To return to who we are, to where we belong is to simply stay there: to stay in this love, and this now became my only option.
Right this moment, there is a trumpet sound in the skies calling all true twin flames into union. Many, including me & my twin, are hearing the call from God to return to consciousness, to each other, to “home”. This call comes with the reactivation of the cosmic magnets which first drew the twin flames to each other, often across long distances and regardless of personal circumstances. It does not matter how long we have been separated from our twin flame; truly we are being awakened from this dream of duality, and the belief of separation that our mind holds onto. For many twin flames, especially the masculine ones, suddenly the whole idea of a twin flame reunion no longer feels like a delusion, but rather something within reach firmly grounded in this reality.
There is an amazing opportunity for those hearing this call to come into sacred union in this time of planetary ascension. Both twins must reach a certain level of spiritual and emotional maturity for this and there is a lot of assistance available to us at this time. The universe is promising us miracles if we are able to demonstrate our new vibration, i.e. the free-flowing divine, unconditional love anchored in the twin flame consciousness. This is what all of us in surrender are striving for, and while our unions may still be “work in progress”, many twin couples are finding that they are already united as ONE in all the ways that matter; and that the physical reunion is merely a natural and inevitable consequence of our deeper energetic and vibrational alignment with each other and with the divine plan; and therefore it is by making changes on the inside that we change what is being seen on the outside.
This phase of the journey requires stamina and patience. As twin flames, it is fully within our gift to create the energetic and vibrational resonance needed to reach the higher vibration of illumination, where we not only know exactly what is required of us but also HOW to get into union with our twin, if such is our desire. A whole world of opportunity opens up to us as we become like Neo in Matrix when he finally believes that he is the One and learns that he is in control of his own reality. In the same way the cheat codes are there for each twin flame coupling to stop the endless cycle of push and pull, the triggering and the unbalanced dynamic of running & chasing, and ultimately create the life that both twins always knew was theirs to claim. Many are finding the urge to align with their destiny and their position within the divine plan, taking full accountability for their part of the twin flame reunion; and in the process holding that space for the other to do the same.
The twin flame reunion is a gradual and mostly internal process, and one of the prerequisites is that the twin flame couple enters into the reunion fully conscious; and this is certainly a new experience for many of us. What is happening is truly a CONSCIOUS coming together of twin flame couples, which is every bit as magical and awe-inspiring as the initial bonding. Whereas the initial bubble phase provided an intense but temporary energy flow from the cosmos, this energy is now free-flowing and deeply anchored within us, and we are better able to handle its intensity.
When we first catch sight of the endless possibilities of our union within reach, this comes with full awareness of what must be brought forth by BOTH twins in order to successfully navigate this part of the journey. Firstly, both must let go of the very notion of “getting there” at all, and instead surrender deeper into the synchronistic flow of Divine timing for ALL outcomes. Both twins must be willing to seek to fulfil their divine mandate, as well as taking full accountability for their own actions, thoughts and behaviors. Both must then take action individually and together to restore balance within the twin flame dynamic and the stronger cosmic energies, always outwardly extending love to each other. This requires both self-mastery and discernment – and it is amazing to see so many twins finding their feet and riding this wave.
On the flipside, way too many twins still fall into the (ego) trap of believing that the person holding back their union is their twin. They believe that they have done all their internal work and healing and are now ready to reunite, except for one huge hick-up: their stubborn ass twin simply won’t “get it” and is avoiding them, pursuing other relationships, priorities etc. If only they did get it, then reunion would happen instantly. However, no twin ever came into reunion (or anywhere near it) without becoming fully aware and accountable for their own share in creating the imbalance both within themselves and within the greater whole of the union. Therefore thinking that your twin is the reason that you are not united is the VERY REASON you are not.
For all true twin flames, now is the time to step up and call ourselves into greater accountability in relation to our twin flame connection and union. Many of us now understand that to attract our divine masculine counterpart twin flame, we must step into our full power as the divine feminine. We are being assisted with this, as the call has gone out to the divine masculine to RISE IN LOVE and to leave the old ways behind by surrendering to the eternal flame of transformation – and many twins, including my own, have responded to this call. As our masculine counterparts balance their internal energies, connecting with and balancing their feminine aspect, many will come forward with a renewed confidence in the divine plan. This then allows the divine feminine to soften back into our true feminine power, bringing about balance within the greater One, thus bringing about union.
All this takes time to filter down, so be patient and allow your twin the time to come into balance within himself. If my own union is anything to go by, your twin will be feeling and experiencing the EXACT same changes and energies, in perfect sync with you, even when no information is being shared. In the meantime, stay surrendered in the higher vibration and allow God to do the rest. There truly is an opportunity to create and witness miracles. Truly dear souls, EXPECT THE UNEXPECTED.
You can take all the time you need to navigate our Union with honor.
You can take all the space you need to bring a fresh perspective to our Union.
You can take all the opportunities life presents, in any form, to amass the information essential to spiral-up our Union. [extracts from the blog)
Last summer, as I dabbled between surrender and illumination, I suddenly came into the realisation that I had been the runner all along; something I had blamed him for for YEARS!! Yes, he may have avoided me, however I was the one who erased him from my life totally for 3 years. I hung my head in shame as I realised just how I had failed to see that despite all his fears and choices that took him away from me (I thought), he had always kept showing up for me & us – and he kept doing so. There are no words to describe how sorry I felt, and also, the relief I got from realising that he had forgiven me and that I could forgive myself too.. It was all for a higher purpose, after all..
The Twin Flames journey never ceases to amaze me. The stage I’m in right now I affectionately call ‘the humbling.’ It’s not the first time I’ve been humbled by my Union and I don’t expect it will be the last (but I’m crossing my fingers, toes & eyes anyway).
One of my recent humbling realizations on the Twin Flame journey was that as long as I could point the finger at my Twin for being the runner, I wasn’t able to see my own tendency to run. Me? The runner? NEVER! It was HIM!
The arrogant, superior, judgmental part of me thought:
If he’d only turn and face me fully, acknowledge the Union, step into our original agreement (or whatever other creative way my mind wanted to make him wrong), then we could rock this adventure.
Blaming him for being the ‘runner’… ugh… so tiresome and so small…
Miracles are happening in my life: my twin has signalled his return to me as a changed man. Not only is he approaching me; fearless, determined and open, but the signs and synchronicities I am seeing are in-my-face, bold and mind-blowing. I feel guided, protected, loved – not only by God, but by my twin flame. As I watch the events unfold, I am once again overtaken by the magic, timeless and God-infused love that flows between us. Finally, it feels like we are in this together, no matter what.
We have been dancing the twin flame dance for nearly 13 years, majority of which we have had no or minimal communication with each other. I have not seen him for the past 9 years, which we have spent married to other partners, yet it turns out our spiritual and emotional development during this time has mirrored each other perfectly. Right now, the bells of reunion are ringing for us. It’s like a trumpet sound in the skies that neither one of us can no longer deny. Once again, we are experiencing this all in perfect sync with each other, with thoughts, emotions and feelings sourced from a common heart space. God is drawing us to each other so loud, so clear that it’s undeniable: not just for me but for him too.
We let go of each other a long time ago, through miscommunication and misunderstanding, through denial and fear and through choices we considered morally right. However what we had not done until now was to release the love that was within us all along. That love was meant to flow freely through us, without attempts to control or to restrain it. We were both meant to remember that such love does not belong to us, it does not come from us: it is divine love which is to be returned to God, glorified. The call that we both hear now is to surrender to the love and light that is within us. It is a call to allow the love between us to flow freely, to return to God, to fully align us with His perfect plan for us.
Did it really have to take that long, you ask? Could it not have happened sooner? The truth is that surrender cannot be rushed, since it does not happen by a conscious choice but rather only once we have exhausted all other means of finding purpose, serenity and meaning – and failed miserably at it. In addition, since the reunion of the twins is orchestrated by God, its final pieces only click into place in God’s perfect timing. Part of surrender is therefore accepting that the separation; the silences, other relationships and denying our feelings for each other, were all necessary. It is an illusion that we could have done anything differently to come into union sooner; after all, everything we went through has now led us to this. It led us to God, to an undeniable oneness with each other, feeling fully supported, coming closer and closer to full alignment with what God has planned for us.
The power of surrender
Surrender empowers us to get closer to our TRUE nature, which is that of our soul infused with eternal life. It is the final step before fully understanding and knowing ourselves. Our twin flame is the one who by just being themselves calls us to return to the heart, to our authentic state; a higher state of existing & being, because this is the state in which God expects us to return home. For this, we undergo a process of purification; from all those things that our egos held onto and from all that which no longer serves us. It is only by surrendering ourselves to the reality in front of us, i.e. acknowledging our feelings and facing our fears that we can return to the wholeness that we are, by forsaking and shedding all the conditioning and false beliefs that we hold on to. Surrender is the letting go of the old, and instead building the world that we’ve always dreamt possible.
God loves us and wants amazing things for us, but we need to know when we are standing in His way. More than anything therefore, surrender implies the end of resistance. It requires total acceptance since we cannot surrender something that we deny, or something that we won’t face. Rather we surrender when we no longer blame, control, deny, compromise, expect, push or pull, ignore, avoid, force, wait or manipulate. Surrender asks us to die to ourselves; to release who we think we are and to become nothing once more so that God can become everything in us. God needs space in us to work through us and he can only do this once we finally just allow whatever is to be.
Facing our Shadow self
The external battle against our twin flame is only a reflection of the conflict we have inside us. The real enemy withholding us from surrendering is within and so in order to find peace with others we must first find peace within ourselves. We cannot do this if we haven’t become fully aware and conscious of ourselves. This involves a lot more than just letting go of our twin flame and moving on: it involves total honesty with our Self.
We find peace when we accept the truth of who we are. Since we are LOVE, to reach surrender, we must allow the LOVE which is in our hearts to flow. The way to do this is to remove all the obstacles, such as our internal demons, standing in its way. Part of this is acknowledging our shadow side, whether we call it the ego or the lower soul. It is only through bringing into light, loving and disciplining this part of our self that we start to experience the oneness & remembrance of God – and that we can ever hope to reunite with our twin flame. In fact, much like Jung believed, it is only by embracing this shadow side that we can feel fully alive and whole. By not facing our demons, we are in fact feeding them, allowing the darkness within us to grow.
The truth is that we cannot reach our authentic state if we refuse to face the TRUTH of who we are and what is in our heart. If the truth of our heart overwhelms us, shocks us into silence or puts us in internal heart-mind conflict, then clearly we have not fully come to terms with ourselves. For example, in our heart we know that we belong with our twin flame. It is painful, uncomfortable, and inconvenient but deep inside we know it’s the truth. It’s a love that just won’t quit! But it’s also the truth we deny because of all it entails since, for whatever reason, we are being held back by our own conditioning, responsibilities and old paradigm relationships. Or perhaps we are not the one being held back, but it is our twin flame is simply unavailable and uninterested.
Part of becoming whole again here is changing the false beliefs that are in our heart. We cannot recognize the truth until we recognize the lie which is holding us hostage; the lie being that we could be anything else than our true self. Our twin flame is very much a friend of our shadow: always inviting us to embrace the parts that are the most painful, difficult or those buried the deepest. They hide in the very shadows that we are afraid to face, always inviting the heart warrior in us to step forward. To proceed, we must find this warrior; the one who will slay the dragon in the shadows guarding our true Self.
Eventually the longing for that love which fills us and nourishes us grows so strong that the love within us, in its quest to be freed, exceeds our fear of our shadow. Once we take the conscious decision to proceed and face whatever arises, we take ownership of your shadow. By having the courage to face our anger, fear, jealousy, feelings of rejection, loss of love, and guilt, we reclaim our own power.
My surrender
For years, I was under the illusion that I was surrendered. After all, it was almost a decade ago that I let go of any hopes of ever being with my twin flame, of ever seeing or holding him again. I had made peace with the fact that although I knew in my heart that he was the One, he did not see it, want it, feel it or choose it. I let go of trying to understand him: his pushing and pulling, denials and contradictions. Ultimately, I knew I had to allow him to follow his own path, with the hope that he would find the happiness that he so desperately sought.
Throughout the years I told myself many lies, including that I had simply not been worthy of this love, however the biggest lie was that I could find my wholeness outside of anything other than my truth. I was not understanding that for me to be who I really am I needed to allow the LOVE that I felt for him to flow through me, because it was this love which nourished and sustained me at the core. In fact, blocking this love which kept growing with each day was making me ill: physically and emotionally. I ended up in hospital fighting for my life. This was a turning point which came after years of unconsciously restraining this love underneath a hectic life of work, raising a family, law studies and keeping busy. As I lay there in my morphine induced state, unable to do anything other than to just be, I knew things had to change.
During the months of my recovery, I started to feel like I was slowly coming back to life. From a place of numbness arose the deep realisation that even after 8 years of not seeing him, he was wrapped up within me so tightly; connected to my soul in a way completely unlike anything or anyone else. There was just no way to replace him in my life. The connection to him was alive within me, and the love now overflowing to the point that I could no longer contain it. It simply wanted to flow; it needed to flow: not because of my twin flame, or even me, but because it is a divine decree that all true love be returned to God.
It became clear to me that since it was God who had put this pure, eternal love between our two souls, this too was God’s will, and not a mistake like my twin had once told me. This truth that there is nothing other than God’s will in existence set me free. It finally freed me from trying to understand it, to analyse it, to attempt to control it or to restrict it – and so I set the love free.
I had faced all my darkness a long time ago, but what I hadn’t faced was my Iight – and JUST HOW MUCH of it I had within me. Marianne Williamson once wrote: “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. … And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
This was truly it: I had been afraid of what would happen or the consequences on my life, marriage and sanity if I just allowed all the love and light to shine through. But I came to the point where it was the ONLY thing left to do to make peace with myself & with God. I had to come into alignment with what I always knew in my heart, regardless of my twin. All I ever had to do was to follow God’s guidance and have faith in his plan.
As I surrendered, God showed me that I could love him without dying, without pain, without anxiety, without expecting anything in return and that I could do this simply by not only staying in this love but by BECOMING this love: my love for him of which God is an integral part. And that God is not only above me or beyond me, but that His light is also within me. Then, a miracle happened. As I finally allowed myself to love him, this catalysed him into allowing himself to be loved – and vice versa! Suddenly the love between us, instead of looking into the past, found itself being renewed in every moment, just like energy of our ever-green souls, replenishing the vision and emotion on the inside: reaffirming what is and what will be. This love did not need to be concerned with the past or the future: it had been waiting for us in the NOW all along.
Coming into Union
The faith that is required to unite with our twin flame does not come from any person or book or one religion, but from the ONE GOD who is also within each and every one of us. It does not come through understanding, but rather it arises in the absence of understanding. The union with the twin flame is divinely decreed and protected, and so what unlocks it is our personal relationship with God. This relationship is based on trust. Because Love allows, God allows; He does not want to rob us of any experiences, even the ones that take us away from Him and his Love, because once we turn around, once we know where we belong, the remembrance & the reunion are that much sweeter. It is only through separation that we get to know the REAL meaning of union.
Although I still believe that the journey to wholeness is always towards another soul, my twin flame is not the one who gives me my wholeness and purpose in life; that is God. Therefore, the journey is a personal one: it was never about the connection between me and my twin flame at all, but about the connection between me and God, and him and God.
The cosmic and divine laws that govern the connection to our twin flame are very much the same than those which guide our connection to God. These laws do not allow the twins to manipulate or interfere with each other’s choices; or to give each other the answers – even if they wanted to, their higher self will stop them from doing so. It is never meant to be our twin who is going to help us make sense of the connection or the love. We are not meant to give each other the answers our hearts already know. We are only meant to search within, to get to know ourselves and our own truth, to fully connect with the divine guidance in our hearts, which in turn will lead us Home to our Twin flame. Once we position ourselves correctly with regards to God, only then will the clouds dissipate and reveal the sun that has been hidden from us all this time.
The truth of what God wants for us
The moment of surrender comes when we are finally ready to rise into closeness with God. We clear the final stretch before Union by faith alone since only faith can propel us forward into our new life – that’s why it’s called a leap of faith! As we leap off the proverbial edge, likely for the nth time, we find ourselves being carried by the love that is within us. Much like Peter Pan, all we have to do is to truly BELIEVE.
A lot of things can flow to us when we surrender to the reality that is before us. Surrender empowers us from within and makes us realize that there are no limits other than those that we imagine for ourselves. We see that our life is God’s playful imagination; only to be limited by our own vision, by our own thinking, only to be diminished by our own shame, by our own perceived lack, feelings of unworthiness and imperfection. We can then see where we need to take action since we are no longer blind but rather trusting in God with our eyes wide open. This is where we are finally consciously able to see and accept the person who is right for us: the one who was calling us to return to God, to Love and to ourselves all along.
The only thing that is keeping you or your twin flame from sharing in your own authentic self, in your mutual eternal love, is the illusion that you could be anything other than your truth. To accept the truth of who you are is to return to you, to the light; towards your own planned destiny and Perfect Plan, where your twin flame will be waiting for you. When you are ready for this, so will they be! Don’t let anyone, not even your twin flame to persuade you otherwise. The divine decree is that as long as you do your own work and allow your heart to lead you, he too will do the same. In time you will both find each other again as the clouds dissipate with the dawning of a new day to reveal the blessings of the eternal sun on your lives. Whatever then is revealed to you is God’s will, to be graciously accepted with no ifs, buts or doubts.
We come into this world as God created us; radiating pure love, joy and innocence. The world that we are born into, however, is a world of illusion made up of the projected feelings and thoughts of others. Through our earliest experiences of human interaction, we learn that we must behave a certain way or meet certain conditions in order to receive love and affection. This plants a deeply seated fear in us that somehow simply being our authentic self is not enough and so we live our life from behind masks to suit every person and situation. Eventually, we mistake this projected reality for our own and forget that underneath our human exterior we are an eternal soul, perfectly reflecting the love and light of our Creator.
Regardless of the depth of our spiritual amnesia, our illusion of reality shatters in an instant when life presents us with the most powerful mirror, our twin flame. God sends us this perfect mirror to help us remember our exquisite and divine nature and to become the person we were intended to be. While all relationships reflect back to us certain aspects of who we are and the beliefs we hold about ourselves, our twin offers us a full look at ourselves, down to our deepest core. Just like Rumi once wrote: “You cannot see yourself without a mirror; Look at the Beloved, He is the brightest mirror”, meeting our twin flame is like seeing ourselves in a full-length mirror for the first time. Since our twin flame, at the level of the soul, is the same as us, we recognise ourselves in their eyes. What we in fact recognise is something we have, often unconsciously, been looking for: in them, we find a reflection of the pure light of our own soul.
As the two complimentary parts of one soul, both carrying either the masculine or feminine polarity, the twins face the challenge of awakening these internal energies and then bringing them into balance and harmony. In very simple terms, the twins do this by acting as cosmic mirrors for each other. Their powerful reflection shines the light of truth on everything that both twins need to address and balance before they can fully vibrate at the frequency of divine love. Depending on where each twin is in terms of spiritual and emotional maturity, the mirror can be our greatest ally or the very thing that makes us want to give up. Either way, the mirror brings disruption and acts as the catalyst between the twin flames.From mirrored lives to mirrored souls When we first meet our twin flame, we are amazed and delighted by the parallel life paths, mirrored experiences, shared interests, values and dreams. We quickly grasp that the sheer volume of synchronicities and similarities are not down to mere chance or coincidence but that there is a divine hand at play. This was certainly my experience. For our first “date”, the man I would later come to know as my twin flame insisted on taking me out to a café he loved. In a city of no less than 7,000 cafes, he took me to MY favourite cafe. We had grown on different continents, in different cultural and religious surroundings, yet we spent the entire evening completing each other’s sentences, speaking the same words at the same time and discovering so many parallels and synchronicities between our two seemingly different lives. But the thing that struck me the most was that as I looked into his eyes I kept seeing myself, as if looking into a bright mirror. He must have been feeling the same, since long before this magical night ended he turned to me with his eyes shining and said: “Jonna, you are the mirror image of me!”
The mirrored lives help spark wonder and curiosity for the twin couple, and the feelings of awe and affinity help create a strong bond between them. Eventually the magic of the connection drives both twins to search for the answers and meaning within, which is where they discover their energetic mirroring at a deep soul level. At this level, it is impossible to tell the twins apart; or to know where one ends and the other starts. Here the twins quickly understand that what they do onto their twin, they also do onto themselves and so they start to get an idea of just how closely connected they are.
Through their mirrored energies and lives, the twins embark on the path of learning what it is to really love another person unconditionally: what it is to “love thy neighbour like yourself”. Their love is so powerful, so potent that eventually the twins realise that there is nothing that can ever lessen their love or change how they feel about each other. In fact, their love for each other grows and grows until it can no longer be contained by the two lovers, and they become overflowing fountains of love for all humanity and God. In fact, when the twin couple discover the reflection of their own soul in each other, they often share experiences of love so infused in God that these leave both twins changed forever.
Within days of meeting my twin, as I was gazing into his soul, I experienced God looking out through my eyes at my twin, and the pure, sublime and infinite love that I, as God consciousness, felt for my twin was almost too much to bear. And as the mirror of my twin’s soul reflected this God consciousness back to me, I saw myself as if God was looking out at God itself. I was left in no doubt of the immense beauty within myself, as well as God’s infinite love for us both. This experience changed me in ways I could never fully describe; none the less because I was raised as an atheist and was one – until that very moment.Heaven or Hell? You decide. Meeting our twin flame can be an equally sublime and terrifying experience! A lot of this comes down to what we see when we look in the mirror, since being with our twin flame is very much like standing in front of one 24/7. Just like the love, the negative aspects are magnified and keeping anything hidden or unexplored is simply not an option. Therefore, if you are feeling unworthy, lacking in self-love and self-esteem, or refusing to face certain issues in your life, then your twin will reflect in unforgiving detail all that you have yet to deal with.
The mirroring may make you feel like your twin is purposely doing something to you, however in reality they are offering you a chance to let go of the your old patterns, beliefs, fears and templates by shining their bright light on the very obstacles that stand in the way of your union. If YOU are feeling aggravated, saddened or in despair because of something your twin has (or has not) said or done, this is an invitation for you to look within. This is not about your twin at all. This is about YOU and the internal work which awaits you.
For both twins, the aim is to get to a place of fully loving and accepting themselves and others. The truth is that it is ONLY once the twins embody unconditional love to the fullest and are able to meet whatever arises with acceptance, compassion and love that they can fulfil their eternal promise to each other to reunite in this lifetime. Your twin flame loves you too much to help uphold your lies or denial, or to allow you to make this about anyone else other than you. This is all about you: this is YOUR path back into wholeness, back to YOU. Therefore, your twin will hold the mirror up for you, without condition, doubt or hesitation, triggering you into oblivion for as long as it takes for you to get it.
Having our twin flame hold the mirror up can be so intense that it can actually bring about physical, emotional, mental and spiritual distress. My twin actually ended up in the A&E several times in one week when I first wrote him a letter telling him about my feelings. At the time, he was trying hard to convince himself that despite our connection, we did not belong together because he had done his “soul searching” and decided to stay in his “safe” soul-numbing relationship. Sometimes facing the obstacles brought to light by the mirror is just too much for the twin flames – and one or both run away. Running doesn’t however change the fact that our twin sees, feels and knows us as we are, warts and all.Making peace with the mirror Ultimately, we are who we are. We cannot change what our soul knows. If you are one of those twin flames who thread on eggshells trying not to show feeling or emotion for fear of triggering your twin flame into running, you must realise that you will ALWAYS be a reflection of them, no matter what you do. Not only this, but they can feel you energetically. If you are scared of losing them, they will feel your fear and doubts and reflect them back at you. It doesn’t matter how far backwards you are willing to bend to stay in your twin flame’s life, you are the light which reveals their deepest shadows and brings out their scariest demons.
The mirror will always throw a shadow on how they perceive you. Even if you are happy to be “just friends”, your twin will run away from you convinced that you expect them to be something that they possibly can’t be. Your twin will always project his thoughts, his ideas about himself, all his cannot’s and should not’s on you, until they gain enough spiritual and emotional strength to be able to remain centred without being triggered. Once you realise that you cannot change who you are and learn to love yourself fully, you can stop paying so much attention to your twin flame or how he behaves and you will regain your freedom, balance and happiness, and in the process help them too.
Letting the love shine through Often we look into the mirror that is our twin flame and forget that the image in the mirror is still us. Our twin flame is us. We are one. Just like your twin is not doing anything to you, the mirror is not there only to remind you of all your shortcomings; it is there to help you. The mirror is a two-way mirror and thus works both ways. If you show love and compassion, your twin will show love and compassion. If you do your internal work, rest assured that your twin will be doing it too. If you surrender, so will your twin. The best thing therefore is to always love your twin unconditionally and the way you would want to be loved.
What you need to understand is this: your twin already loves you perfectly but will only reflect back to you as much of the pure Love as YOUR heart is able to hold at any given moment. Thus, the love is already there; all that is needed is for YOU to remove all the obstacles which block it from shining through. Over time, the mirror effect will start to reflect this love back to you, and you will begin to see yourself as your twin sees you. In my case, it took me years but I finally found the beauty and radiance within me that he saw all along.Reclaiming your destiny It is through our love for our twin flame that we reclaim our innocence and true nature. Ultimately, our twin flame offers us much more than just a change at a relationship: they offer us the opportunity to be all that God intended us to be while fulfilling the divine mandate given for our life; together in sacred union with our divine counterpart. As we rise in love, we realise that the only way this can ever happen is for both of us to first find our own wholeness. This frees us to allow our twin to choose his own path, knowing in our heart that if we are meant to be together then by God we will be. In the meantime, a reflection of the external bond and love always exists on the inside, between the two souls and the shared sacred heart.
Therefore dear soul, do not worry about what your twin is or is not doing; he is only you. He is your mirror, always there parallel on the other side. Love your twin without reason, without pride, without boundaries and conditions, without fear of abandonment or of looking like a fool, no matter what the mirror shows. Remain focused on the love which nourishes your soul and surrender your need for control to God; fully trusting that as you do, not only will your perception of what is in the mirror change but that your twin will change too. Your twin is your reflection and if you change, so will they. Keep at it and you will see the mirror change right in front of your eyes.
Many are nowadays desperately seeking their twin flame, ignoring the fact that the meeting of the Twin Flames is entirely down to divine timing, rather than how long and hard we look for them. Sure enough, the first person they fall head over heels madly in love is immediately awarded the “Twin flame label”, with all the expectations that come with it. The danger here is that when problems later appear and they find themselves in a dysfunctional relationship or an unhealthy, prolonged on-off pattern with this person, rather than re-evaluating the relationship for what it’s worth they cling onto this person and justify their mutual behaviours under the twin flame label.
Not only is remaining in this kind of connection dis-serving to your highest good, it will also be detrimental to your twin flame union, if such has been planned for you. The co-dependency and energetic, sexual and emotional chords that you are in the process of creating with this person will make it very hard for you to leave them if & when your true twin flame turns up. Take it from someone who has experienced this. Don’t make this any harder than it needs to be!
Twin flame unions do not play on your ego; nor are they founded upon a co-dependent or desperate love you can’t live without. They do not come with intense emotional outbursts and highs and lows, but rather with a warm and fuzzy feeling of “rightness”, serenity and unconditional love, as well as a calm knowing that just simply is. Having your Twin flame in your life is energizing – even a few minutes with them will boost your energy and creativity for several days. It’s the complete opposite of being with someone who zaps your energy, such as a narcissist or an energy-vampire.
Patience is key
Personally I think that it’s important not to seek to label any person we meet as our twin flame early on in the connection. To be able to do this with certainty requires you to have a deep understanding and actual experience of the spiritual, energetic, metaphysical and divine properties of this very unique connection – and often this takes time. Furthermore, to start with the twin flame connection resembles other soul and heart-centred connections and drawing conclusions too quickly may make it harder to step away from the connection when behaviours turn unhealthy.
Generally speaking, there are many signs and stages to an authentic twin flame connection and information regarding these is widely available on the internet. Each of the “stages” is divinely orchestrated to bring us to past a point of awareness, acceptance and surrender which allows more of the connection to unfold. The only way to really know is to let the connection to flow and fulfil its purpose within our lives at each stage. During this time the twin partners are held together invisibly by an unexplainable inner force which strengthens the mutual affection and unconditional love between the two regardless of distance, mistakes or choices made.
When the going gets tough…
Meeting our twin flame, no matter who we are, is an intense spiritual, mental and emotional wake-up call. Not everyone who meets their twin flame is knowingly on the spiritual path or emotionally mature enough to handle anything like it. In a typical twin flame connection, after an intensely blissful yet short time together the twins hit a period of crisis where old patterns, fears, insecurities rise to the surface in both twins. However – and this is VERY important – instead of clinging to each other like in an unhealthy dynamic, the twins find themselves energetically repelling each other. This is a very important marker of a twin flame connection. This is also where the often mentioned “twin flame drama” flares up.
The crisis and test that follows the intense bubble phase is a trying and difficult stage for all twins. This is where both twins feel the energy start to shift and are often hit with fears of loss of love or loss of control. One or both of the twins will start pulling away, acting aloof, contradicting themselves, trying to define the connection in usual relationship terms, returning to old relationships, meeting someone new etc. This baffles especially the twin left behind since there was no sign or inkling of any incompatibility or discord; no alarm bells ringing in the distance. The separation which follows is unexplained and sudden and without much drama, ultimatums or huge emotional displays, thus leaving one or both twins in disbelief, thinking it was all just a dream.
The energetics of push & pull
Often this separation is dotted by intermittent periods of push and pull. These can be very intense times that make us feel insane, desperately looking to our twin and others for answers – and yes, even the most capable, balanced twins may find themselves acting in emotional, illogical and unbalanced ways. However while it seems that the loss, desperation and lack of understanding at this stage could easily lead to mind games, emotional blackmail, threats, and so on, this is NOT how twin flames behave with each other, even at the hardest of times.
It is highly unusual for Twin flames to force or impose on each other, make demands or give each other ultimatums, even when they have done this in the past in other relationships. It is simply not in the nature of the twin flame dynamic. If such behaviors do arise, the other Twin simply will simply not engage in them. A Twin will not emotionally manipulate you or intentionally hurt you either; it is simply inconceivable. If for whatever reason you did cause them hurt, it will be like stabbing yourself in the heart. You learn very quickly not to do it again. Your Twin Flame is your divine partner; here to help you discover the love that you are. They are here to take you home, to your eternal life together in the celestial realms. For them you are an angel, a vision, a dream – how could they ever treat you as anything less?
What happens instead is that your energies will simply repel each other and create a separation between you, without either one of you really understanding why. This is the very reason twin flames do not spend long periods of time in volatile and tumultuous relationship. They simply could not withstand each other’s energies long enough as any imbalance would drive them apart. Sometimes genuine twin flames even initially dismiss their true twin flame on this basis since as much as they feel a special connection to this person, they feel that if it was really “the One”, they would not have separated in the first place, no matter what the reasons were, but rather held onto each other for dear life.
The imbalance of the energies is also the reason why twins don’t stick around and help each other complete their internal issues highlighted by the connection. Twin flames don’t get their hands dirty assisting each other in the clearing process of the past life baggage, dysfunctions and false beliefs – this is more likely to be the job of a karmic soul mate and the twins higher Self. Twin flames can only come together permanently once all they have left is the LOVE that they are, and it does therefore seem that separation for most twins is inevitable: it is the only way to enable the deep changes which need to happen for the union to reach its full potential. In the meantime, the twin partners remain connected to each other spiritually and energetically, just like they have always been.
But we can’t keep away from each other!
Unfortunately some see the push and pull as a definite sign of the twin flame connection; after all, if they can’t keep away from you and you can’t move on either, it MUST be a twin flame. Unfortunately there is a lot of support on the twin flame forums for this mentality with mostly ladies mutually supporting and reaffirming each other’s stories of just how crap their twin is treating them. In my opinion, we should be very careful of how far we are willing to let ourselves be dragged into justifying dysfunctional relationship patterns or even validating other’s experiences of such in relation to twin flames – and what exactly is our reason for doing so.
Whilst some of these may well be genuine twin flames it is important to be honest with yourself here: is there a possibility that your “connection” is driven by something other than unconditional love and respect? Are there patterns of neediness, control or dependence on one or both sides? Perhaps they returned to an old relationship or only text when they’re drunk. Maybe they ignore you for weeks on end. Maybe you know that they being dishonest with you but you are happy to carry on “as long as they don’t sleep with anyone else”? Do they remind you of your “special connection” every time you attempt to distance yourself from them giving you false hope, yet are not available or willing to step forward? While it is possible that this is part of the “twin Flame drama”, these are also signs of basic human dysfunction and co-dependency. If this is happening, whether this is your twin or not is irrelevant; it is simply time to break the cycle and move on.
The purpose of the push and pull
The push and pull has its own specific purpose in the twin flame connection – and this has nothing to do with the reasons behind the dysfunctional on-off pattern we often see in relationships. In a twin flame connection the push and pull is meant to drive you inwards to seek your own answers within. Meeting your twin flame is guaranteed to awaken you spiritually, and this is another very important marker of a twin flame connection. Both twin partners find themselves positively transformed by the connection, no matter what the outcome is at this stage. The twin flame connection turns you inward, calling you to reevaluate your perception of love and relationships, causing you to balance everything in your life against the awakened knowing and remembrance, shedding everything that no longer resonates with it. In the end what you will find is your own wholeness as the Love that you are – in union with your twin and God. Thus delaying your self-work is only delaying YOUR UNION!
Another important marker of a twin flame connection is the presence of God or a higher power. Twin flames share a sacred love, which is divinely orchestrated to perfect and transform both twins from the inside out. Our twin flame is our guide to salvation, to the remembrance of God and to our ultimate home-coming. They command our deepest reverence, respect and love by just being their imperfect selves and we would never want to do anything that makes them feel less than what they are. Yes, it is heartbreaking when the timing is not right and the twins keep triggering each other into long periods of separation but there is always so much love there, all-ways. Both know internally that in the right time, the right circumstances, they will find each other again- and that this time will come, they just don’t know when or how.
Are you creating the drama?
The other thing to consider is that perhaps we are ourselves co-creating the twin flame drama. In other words, when we are still spiritually and emotionally immature, we may take on a victim mentality, believing that they are deliberately doing something TO US, to hurt us and to take us for granted. Are you trying to make your twin responsible for your own emotional responses to what they trigger within you? Be honest. If you are feeling needy and want them to fulfil some lack within you, then it doesn’t matter if this is your twin. Even if they are, you are not ready for a physical union with them. Simple as. Rather, you are being invited to heal and work on yourself. What you will learn is that no one else is responsible for your thoughts and feelings or how you handle them.
Sometimes we get so scared of losing them that we compromise our own integrity and peace of mind, and allow our happiness and stability to be defined by what our twin flame is doing – or not doing. Be brutally honest with yourself here. If you dropped the twin flame label and this person kept pushing you away, ignoring you, lying to you, sleeping with someone else, would you still be so hung up on them? Would you still want to be with them?
It is also important to investigate the source of the pain you are feeling. Twin flames bear no ill will against each other: they are simply too closely connected and too spiritually advanced to ever do so. Yes, the twin flame pain can be excruciating and horrendous but it is only serving to open your heart and teaching you to love more, not to crush your soul or feelings of self-worth. More so, if you are brutally honest with yourself, you might even realize that your twin’s odd behaviour has actually got nothing to do with you since the hurt between the twins mostly arises from fear, outer circumstances and external resistance.
Whatever it is, your twin flame will never try to force, manipulate or influence you, nor will they give you any ultimatums. On the same token, twin flames do not allow themselves to be manipulated. As soon as their or your energy becomes unbalanced, like it does when one tries to make the other responsible for their own imbalances, they will simply pull away – and they will have no choice.Even if they are your twin flame, they do not owe you anything. They are not here to fix you – and you are not here to heal or fix them. If this is your twin flame, you will not be expecting them to do your internal work for you. Nevertheless, they will be feeling the same love, going through the SAME intense feelings and triggering than you, and they will have their own way of dealing with it. It is not a very loving thing to point fingers or blame them for only doing the best they can. I can guarantee you: whatever your twin does or says, they want nothing but the best for your soul. They want your happiness and they do truly care about you. This does not mean that they will stick around or remain open with you as they go through their internal turmoil. This does not mean that they will engage with your unbalanced behaviors. So yes, there may be some “drama” but underlying it will be tremendous respect and unconditional love for each other.
The importance of remaining true to yourself
Regardless of the relationship label what matters in the end is how it makes you feel inside and how it changes you. If your relationship is helping you learn, grow and heal, making you face yourself and your ego and to become spiritually more enlightened, then this is where you are meant to be at this moment, regardless of who it is with. However if the relationship is negatively affecting your self-esteem or your dignity, or making you feel worthless, or if there is any kind of violence or co-dependence going on, then you have no business staying in it. Love yourself and the other person enough to let it go. The same goes for any relationship that is actually stopping either one of your from progressing on your individual paths, for example by keeping you stuck in a vicious circle of push and pull. You need to set this person free, even if they are your twin flame – and ESPECIALLY if they are your twin flame. You should not stick around when they continuously act in ways that do not reflect the exquisite beauty of their soul.
Always remain true to you and seek your own happiness and fulfilment. More than anything else, the twin flame journey is a path back to the Self, and once you get there, you will see that the only thing of importance is being in alignment with your own soul and with God’s plan for you. What is meant to be will fall into place. Never allow anyone to treat you badly in the name of love or under the twin flame label, and never seek to encourage others to do so. Instead, listen to your intuition, pray and surrender the outcome to a higher force, or God.
If in deed this is your twin then your unconditional love for them will help you let them go. I won’t say that it will be easy but you will survive – and you will be stronger for it. Sometimes letting go is exactly what the unconditional love for your twin requires you to do, since it is only by setting them free that they will be able to grow, to mature, to awaken, to feel the “loss” of you, to go through their dark night of their soul, and to realize their own wholeness, which in turn will inevitably lead them back to YOU.
True love always returns to us glorified and somewhere deep within true twin flames know this – and this soothes their pain. Sooner or later both twins will face a choice, to either remain in pain, or to return to each other and face the deep love. Everyone, even your twin, wants to be fully loved and known for their real Self and no one can run away from themselves forever. In the meantime, live your life from a place of acceptance, surrender and unconditional love. You will get there.
Regardless of whether we intend to or not, we are continuously sharing our energy with others. Since twin flames share the same one soul resonance and vibrate at the same frequency, their energetic flow makes them telepathic and emphatic with each other and enables them to intuitively know what the other is feeling, desiring or thinking. When we listen to our twin flame talk this is often with a sense of wonder as they seem to be able to read our mind, often taking even our most intimate thoughts straight out of our mind and saying them out loud using our own words. It is because of this telepathic bond that a twin flame pair will often find themselves texting, calling or emailing each other at the exact same moment, finishing each other’s sentences, speaking the same words simultaneously etc.
This is however only the beginning of the telepathic and psychic abilities between the twins. Telepathy in fact is an expression of the wider energetic resonance, oneness and binding together of the twins which naturally deepens and strengthens as their love for each other grows. It is often said that twin flames connect mind to mind, heart to heart and soul to soul – and this is certainly true from a telepathic viewpoint. True telepathy engages our whole being; the mind, heart, body and soul; requiring not only the mind to translate the flow of energy into a language which can be understood by the recipient, but also for the heart chakra to act as a transmitter of all the emotional and mental information. Telepathy is also received through the crown chakra, which connects us to our higher self, universal consciousness and the divine realms.
When twin flames connect energetically, the intense feelings of love spiral out of the magnetic vortex of the heart chakra and create a gateway of telepathic communication between the two. More than any other part of the energetic body, the heart is the essential thinking, feeling and knowing centre of a multi-dimensional being, generating a powerful electrical field 60 times greater and a magnetic field 5,000 times greater than that of the brain. It is therefore through the opening of our heart and crown chakras, often as result of our spiritual awakening, that we are able to fully tune into the telepathic connection with our twin flame.
Telepathy grows as love grows
The telepathic connection between the twins intensifies and becomes more fluent once their energetic bodies merge and they start ascending. Ascension purifies the heart, thus creating the possibility for sincere, honest and vulnerable communication between the two. This merging is where the twins exchange decoding codes to each other’s souls, and it is this which brings about specific spiritual abilities, such as sensing each other’s thoughts telepathically and each other’s energy naturally, even when physically apart. However the twins’ ability to transmit telepathically may not be equal, since it is the twin who is working on him/herself spiritually that will have the stronger ability to do so.
Being able to access each other’s soul transmissions, to an extent, allows us to read our twin’s mind as if it was ours. I have on several occasions been able to experience this, and it really felt like our two minds were one with very little difference between his thoughts and mine. The way in which a thought would pop into my head and he would act upon it or react to it as if it was his own felt very natural and right; without hesitation or questions asked. If for example the thought of being thirsty crossed my mind then without a word he would get up and bring me a glass of water. On another occasion, my twin lost his keys but before he even started to look for them, as soon as the thought of the keys missing crossed his mind, it crossed mine too and I automatically knew where they were. Even though I hadn’t seen him leave them anywhere somehow I “remembered”, perhaps through our shared mind, where they were.
Since the connection works outside of the normal boundaries of time and space, whether the twins are physically together or apart is irrelevant. It is when we have no way of confirming our telepathic experiences with our twin that we often wonder whether they’re actually consciously communicating with us or feeling us – or whether the communication is one-sided. The explanation here is complex to the extent that the communication is being passed back and forth between two multidimensional beings. For example, we may be able to perceive our twin thinking about us, and on the other hand receive loving, encouraging messages from them. One could be coming from their conscious mind, while the other is from their soul/higher self, which remains in touch and in love with us at all times.
This can be very confusing, yet as both twins begin to awaken and grow spiritually, they naturally align with their higher selves and the divine will. There is no way that a twin evolving spiritually would not at some point become internally aware of their twin and the mutual communication between the two hearts. Furthermore, as the twins surrender they learn to rely on this communication as a comforting, loving energy filled with spiritual nourishment always available to them and they begin to intuitively understand its slight nuances.
Radiant Heart
The importance of awakening our heart
At times during the twin flame connection we find ourselves confused, frustrated and hurt by the inconsistency of communication from our twin. While internally we feel their unconditional love for us, externally they may be acting cold and aloof. Perhaps our twin flame who once treated us like nothing else mattered in the world suddenly tells us they want nothing more to do with us, yet the energy and love emanating from their heart hasn’t changed. The thing to know about telepathy between twin flames is that while words can easily deceive us, the energy received through the heart chakra does not and cannot lie.
The Biblical fable of the Tower of Babel tells the story of how God put an end to the “one language”, thought to have been telepathy, and how this led to misunderstanding and deception among the humans since they were no longer able to communicate from the heart. This has very much been the state of humanity these past centuries; however with the awakening of the heart-centered consciousness, people everywhere are tapping into the ability to lovingly and honestly communicate regardless of all cultural, religious, linguistic and ethical barriers.
Twin flames are at the forefront of the heart awakening, since it is their divine mission to anchor the heart-centered consciousness and divine love onto the Earth plane. The language of the heart requires no translation, decoding or interpretation and therefore we are able to energetically tell whether our twin is being genuine and authentic in the words they speak. Our heart also tells us when we are not being true to ourselves and as our heart centre activates, it becomes harder and harder not to align with the infinite love that we are.
My twin flame often commented on how he felt like I could see into his soul and how he could not hide anything from me. It is simply impossible to hide anything from our twin flame, and when our twin’s words and thoughts don’t match, we can perceive this. One day as I lovingly confronted my twin about the inconsistency in the way he yearned for a deeper love yet chose to remain in a co-dependent relationship, I could actually HEAR his thoughts as if they were being spoken out loud. We were in the same room, and he was acting extremely nervous and I could hear him repeating to himself “I’ve done my soul searching, I know what I want” all over again, like a mantra of self-denial. I didn’t even realise at first that he wasn’t speaking the words out loud since it sounded the same to me, however when I called him up on it I could feel just how exposed and vulnerable he felt.
It takes a lot of guts and courage to look our twin in the eye when we have unresolved emotions and feelings and this is also one of the reasons we run from our twin; ironically, to attempt to hide away from the one whom we cannot hide from. It can be truly terrifying to have our feelings revealed when we are not even ready to admit them to ourselves, but the truth is, they are already being felt and known, whether we like it or not.
The ways in which we connect
There are many ways in which twin flames share telepathically and project themselves on each other. Generally speaking, when our twin reaches out to us, we recognise them by the unique energy that they convey. We may feel a quickening of our heart, and sense their presence/essence or smell their fragrance. Sometimes we are able to actually feel them touch us, usually by feeling a gentle caress on our hair, cheek, lips, hand etc. We are able to feel their warmth embrace us. Sometimes this happens at the most inconvenient time –in this case, its OK to send our twin away if the timing is off or if we simply cannot handle their energy at that time. Our twin’s soul loves us unconditionally and won’t mind!
Twin flames also often share the same dreams and communicate telepathically in the dream state and it is not unusual for the twins to have had reoccurring dreams of one another prior to meeting. Equally many twins, such as I, have developed a psychic connection with their twin flame before meeting them physically and have been aware of the other on some level since their earliest childhood.
Furthermore, the lives and daily events of the twin flames are often filled with synchronicities and unusual parallels. Whatever passes through one mind also passes through the other, in one way or another, and so the twins often find themselves reading the same books, sharing interests, liking the same music etc. These parallels often happen without any traditional knowledge of what the other is doing and can be as simple as one twin suddenly receiving the inspiration to cook many elaborate dishes only to find that the other was doing just that during that same time. As an example, when my twin immersed himself in his new job for a Japanese company, I signed up to study Japanese at University, and when he attempted to adopt a child, I instantaneously became an advocate for adoption – something I had never been involved with in the past!
We also know that we are picking up on our twin when we feel overwhelming emotions and feelings which seem to come out of nowhere. We might burst out crying for no apparent reason, or feel intense anger or happiness, etc. It is important to get to know ourselves so that when these emotions hit us, we are able to simply recognise them as coming from our twin – and let them go lovingly.
Personally, one of the most mind-blowing experiences of twin flame telepathy is without a doubt being able to talk to our twin in our head – and to be heard. For example, one day as I was getting ready to leave my twin’s flat, I looked back at him and in my mind said “See you later alligator “. Instantly he replied out loud “In a while crocodile”.
Sometimes twin flames share lengthy conversations which seem to happen entirely in the mind. This “mind chatter” can be a maddening experience since it can last hours and be quite relentless. Sometimes these “confessionals” go on so late into the night that we cannot help but fall asleep regardless, only to be woken up by the chatter in the middle of the night! The times where I have experienced this most intensely have been after my Kundalini awakening and after our mutual surrender. The conversations are very much like the intense face to face conversations that we would have had at the time if we had seen each other and involved planning next steps, and explaining recent internal growth and insights to the other, as well as mutual reassurance and expressions of love.
Naturally, telepathy is just as strong when the awakened twins are face to face, and their physical presence provides an excellent opportunity to validate their experiences. After my Kundalini awakening I found that I could literally touch my twin with my mind. The day I discovered this I was stood all the way across the room from my twin, and he was sat down at his desk, with his back to me. A thought crossed my mind: I wanted to run my fingers through his hair and kiss his neck softly with my lips. It was just a passing thought, yet in the same instant that it appeared in my mind, my twin jumped up; putting his hand on his neck. He asked me if I had touched him, even though he could see that I was too far away for that. I said “No, but I thought about it”. He said he had felt something, like fingers, running through his hair. I smiled: “That was me.”
Outside of time & space
What if I am no longer with my twin?
When we experience a merger with our twin flame it is indispensable to keep our hearts open and our thoughts upbeat. Whether our twin knows it or not and whether they believe in twin flames or telepathy or anything else for that matter, they will be deeply affected as they will experience the same thoughts, emotions and feelings as we do. Twin flames are always in continuous loving communication through their shared heart space; however when this is done consciously both twins reap the benefits. Sending love to our twin helps them wherever they are – it heals and uplifts them. Being able to remain connected like this is a divine blessing and a gift which enables the twins to assist each other’s soul growth by giving love, guidance, encouragement, strength, as well as emotional and spiritual support.
Initially, it is not easy to live with the connection once we are no longer in a “relationship” with our twin since we continue to feel each other and reflect each other’s mental, physical, emotional or spiritual states regardless. This shared vibrational frequency can certainly make us feel claustrophobic, especially when our twin suffers from mental, emotional or physical instability. We may be feeling the effects of our twin’s drinking, smoking, promiscuity, drug taking, emotional lows and much more – and it may take us years to understand this. Often we remain in this vibrational frequency out of choice; taking on our twin’s pain as if it was ours. We do this because we are, at least subconsciously, afraid that if we let go of our twin we will no longer feel them at all.
It is however only through detachment, surrender to God and connecting with our higher Self by increasing our own vibration that we are really able to perceive the benefits and endless possibilities of this connection – without the pain. Our ascension into a higher vibrational frequency will also help uplift our twin since the twins continue to be magnetised to each other. It is a divine law that what was once whole must return to wholeness – and the strongest pull is always towards the light!
Embracing our Soul
The depth of the telepathic connection with my twin has been a source of joy, wonder and also sometimes playful suspicion between me and my twin, since he has on more than one occasion reckoned that I’ve put some kind of a spell on him! Regardless of how the telepathy and its various expressions work or whether we believe this to be the work of our twin, God or the devil, feeling each other across the distance is an ESSENTIAL part in the process of becoming whole for twin flames. The reunion with the external twin can never happen without the discovery of the “twin within”, which is the complimentary energy of our twin which forms part of who we are. As long as we deny, block, undermine or doubt the truth of the energy of our twin INSIDE OUR OWN HEART, we will never be able to discover our own wholeness within.
It is therefore essential for every twin flame coupling to work on opening the conscious flow of love from the heart, since it is the energy field of the heart which connects us to our twin and others. It is only once we allow the telepathic flow of this Love into our lives through the exchange of unconditional love between us and our twin that we are able to align ourselves with the divine will and create balance within, thus radiating it outwardly through our light, awareness and well-being. Embracing our twin is embracing our own Soul – and life itself.
As human beings, we are born with an innate need to belong, to be loved and to find our own place in this world. This search for a deeper connection and belonging sparks in us the remembrance of our true spiritual nature through experiences of love and connection with something greater than us. Since our true nature is spiritual, it makes sense to say that true love is spiritual too. However finding such love is not as simple as putting a profile up on match.com and picking the one whose personality matches closest with ours; for we are not really looking for a counterpart for our personality, likes and dislikes, but rather a counterpart who in essence is the same as us.
Enter our Twin Flame: this awe-inspiring, wondrous person who completes us and whose mind, heart and consciousness seem to flow from the same fountain as ours. We recognise ourselves in their eyes; those eyes that we’ve looked upon so many lifetimes in so many faces; like mirrors reflecting only our true self back to us. It is like friendship set on fire: an instant, deep resonance that consumes us with its fierce, relentless flame of truth, passion and unconditional love. This person seems to match and understand us down to our deepest core and we simply KNOW that we are meant to be together.
Unfortunately while the heightened experience of love with our Twin Flame is very real and the feelings mutual, to come into permanent physical union with them is another ball game. Often at least one Twin will be unprepared for the intensity of the connection, or simply unaware of what is being offered, and there may be issues with timing. We find our dreams of romantic candlelit dinners and proposals at sunset crushed with the intense energies and complete ego annihilation involved which equate more to a test and a mission rather than anything to do with romance.
Meeting our twin Flame pulls the carpet right from under our feet, shaking our perception of reality and driving us inwards to find our own answers. It is a process where all our ideas about love, life and our self are totally picked apart and reconstructed. The twin flame connection is first and foremost a spiritual connection given to us to aid our Soul’s evolution and a shared spiritual mission here on earth. A physical union, if such has been planned, will only happen once both souls are ready – and this may be months, years, even decades down the line and may require a lot of patience, preparation and work!
Is this love that I’m feeling?
After a brief reunion with my twin flame after 3 years of running, we both tried to define and make sense of what we felt – and didn’t feel – for each other by trying to fit our connection it into a pre-labeled box of friend, lover, future partner etc. Unfortunately translating the Twin Flame connection into earthly terms proves impossible since it will not fit any preconceived notions regarding love and ideal partners. What’s more, we find ourselves confused and thrown off track because the connection involves such a wide array of human emotions, including those of a friend, lover, parent, child, teacher, student & many more – and these can all be felt separately or together in endless combinations. We expect to feel giddy with excitement with butterflies in our stomachs but instead we feel the deep pride of a mother one moment, and the love of a sister for her dear brother the next, followed by an unmistakable sexual pull towards them. The breath and width of these emotions simply cannot be put into one neatly labelled box.
In addition, our socially conditioned beliefs, air-brushed ideals of beauty and outdated templates all contribute to the image of an ideal man/woman that we hold in our minds – and which our Twin rarely fits. Our Twin is often unlike anyone we have ever been with or would usually be attracted to. We may be at a loss as to what exactly it is that we find so attractive in them since they are definitively “not our type”. On top of this, our definition of love is often based on previous experiences and fantasies of romantic Hollywood type “falling in love” associated with games of seduction, lustful sex and romantic gestures leading into a “happy ever after”. Therefore, when we meet our twin flame we suddenly find ourselves on unknown territory where we know we are feeling something special, magical and effortlessly “right”, but at the same time we do not quite recognize what it is or what it means since we have no point of reference.
A few weeks after our reunion in 2005 my twin told me he did not feel romantic love towards me. My heart sank since I had always known we were somehow meant to be “together”, and I knew of no other way to be with a man whom I loved and desired. This drove me inward to question what true love really is. I looked up definitions of romantic love and came across this one by Canadian sociologist, John Lee: “ Romantic love –the lover thinks constantly about the loved one, is jealous, unrealistic, will tolerate anything, is sexually attracted by physical appearance, needs repeated reassurance he/she is loved in return.” I agreed; this was not us, but what was it then?
In my writings and my mind I started meticulously revisiting every single lover I had ever had. I was asking myself whether I had ever really loved anyone – and had anyone ever really loved me? I was trying to understand what it was that I felt for this man I hardly knew in the usual sense of the word; yet whom I would have trusted with my life, my children, my all, from the first day we met. I started seeing things differently, identifying behaviors and patterns, and sharing it all with him out of some “necessity” to dig very deep within me; like I needed to show him everything about me, perhaps to get to the real me buried underneath it all.
The illusion of romantic love
My initial disappointment transformed into clarity as I finally realized that this kind of unrealistic romantic love – the weak-kneed, starry-eyed kind of love – had nothing to do with true love. Romantic fantasies fool us into thinking that all our problems will be solved once we find the perfect mate and fall in love. It is an infatuation driven by an emotionally intense game of ecstatic ups and downs; its lows temporarily painful but with no long term risk involved. Because it lacks real intimacy, we are able to hide parts of ourselves to keep our partner happy and to maintain the status quo within the relationship, giving us a false sense of security which ultimately leaves us unsatisfied and yearning for something deeper, more connected and more REAL. In trying to meet our partner’s expectations we take on roles for fear that we will disappoint them or that love will be withdrawn if we show them the real us. Sadly, by the time we awaken from this dream, we find ourselves in a loveless relationship, unrecognizable to ourself, with yet another mask, yet another layer hiding the real us; or perhaps already in middle of a bitter divorce or separation, wondering what went wrong.
The thing is; the co-dependency of this kind of unrealistic “love” keeps us from growing into a whole person, whereas true love is the acceptance of the fact that our lover is not perfect and neither are we. When we truly love someone we understand that each of us needs to grow, and that we can be catalysts for each other’s growth. We can nurture one another, challenge one another and encourage one another. True love makes us want to be the best possible expression of our true self. It is not a bond of love; it does not seek to bind, possess or dominate, nor does it make claims of exclusivity on the other. Rather, it comes with space; space to breathe, to grow, to evolve into a whole being.
True love is an ever-evolving and ever-expanding truth: it has no rhyme or reason yet remains steadfast and abiding. There is nothing our Twin can do or say to change how we feel inside; there is nothing they could show us that would make us love or respect them any less. Real love comes to us quietly with a stability of emotion. It is not a lustful, impetuous passion driven by sentimentality and emotionalism but rather an element of calm and depth which quietly slips into our life and which peers deep into our soul. When we truly love someone, we would never intentionally do anything to hurt the other. We only want their happiness, even when they make choices that do not involve us.
A relationship based solely on romantic love requires two people to constantly communicate, bargain and compromise to remain in agreement with each other. Since there is no underlying resonance, the lovers need constant reassurance that the other still loves them. However, the spiritual affinity of true love allows us to understand and relate to each other on a much deeper level; that of the soul. True love reveals an entire new dimension of energetic possibility: we don’t need any validation or reassurance from the other since our connection is felt on the inside, and the need for reassurance is replaced by telepathy and synchronicities, and generally being on the same page with each other. The only confusion comes when the other is not being true to what is in their heart; since we are always able to see the intention in their heart – so that even when the words lie, the heart cannot.
True love therefore requires integrity with ourselves; first and foremost. A Twin flame can only ever love the REAL you. How do we expect them to find us if we are hiding behind a mask? And how will we recognize them if we do not even recognize ourselves? We don’t even acknowledge our own falseness, yet we expect them to see us for who we really are. True love is a danger to the ego since it makes us experience ourselves directly; not through past experiences or beliefs or our ego, but by being alive in the NOW. True love therefore is an invitation to show up as you are; to peel away the layers of protection and social conditioning, let go of self-doubt, and start seeing life with your heart. It is an invitation to become more of who you are.
True love is a choice
Twin flames are two sovereign beings with no need control each other or interfere with each other’s choices. Any co-dependence should raise a red flag which tells you this is not your twin flame but more likely a karmic soulmate. When we really love someone, we don’t need anything from them. Yes, we may miss them terribly and wish they were part of our life but we also know “what will be, will be”. We would never want to deliberately cause them confusion or pain, or to make any unreasonable claims or demands. If they choose to be with someone else we can accept that this is something that they need for their growth and we wish them only happiness.
Falling in immature, romantic love requires no effort whatsoever. There is nothing to choose or decide: this kind of love chooses you with its “I can’t survive without you”. Co-dependency, attachment, jealousy, blame, self-pity, emotional blackmail; they give you no choice. When we are held in relationships by a perceived “duty” or out of guilt, then this is not true love – true love ALWAYS presents itself as a choice. Where there is love there is no duty and no responsibility.
True love is unassuming, without pride or shame. It focuses on the will and involves choices: I can live without you, but I make a choice not to. If people can love each other in a mature way, no one will have to compromise their feelings and preferences in order to be loved. Having a choice means having the freedom to choose. Freedom to choose only exists when all options are available to us. It is the greatest feeling in the world and a true experience of freedom: having the most important thing in the world without owning it.
The problem with true love
To truly love someone is to take full responsibility for your own emotional states and feelings. Since love is the only thing that is real, anything else that arises within you is yours and ONLY yours to deal with since it is all your own creation. Is your Twin Flame sleeping with someone else? Does he deny his feelings for you and constantly contradict himself? Is he ignoring your pleas for clarity on what is going on between you? Stop looking to him for answers that need to be found within your own being. If you truly love this person, you will LOVE and ACCEPT them just the way they are. Respect their right to travel their own path and don’t punish them for only doing the best they can. Make peace with your feelings by acknowledging these and letting them go, and lavishing yourself with all the love that you want to receive from them.
The problem with true love is that to be able to receive it, we must be able to give it. Unfortunately most of us don’t even have that quantity of love for ourselves. How can we accept having someone in our life that loves us more than we love ourselves? It’s impossible. Our twin flame makes us feel both understood and seen fully for the first time in our lives, but we also feel terribly exposed; all our imperfections acutely staring us (and them!) in the face. It is as terrifying as it is exhilarating. We are not used to seeing or displaying the vulnerable, not-so-pretty parts of ourselves – and here is someone who not only sees them but claims to love them too. This seems impossible to us; even we can’t love those parts; our own mother perhaps couldn’t… How could this person who on the surface has only known us for a few days, weeks or months, claim to do so?
Our imperfections are part of us as much as our qualities are; and it is only by fully embracing them that they can be transformed. The thing with true love is that it allows us to see an imperfect person as someone who is perfect for us. This does not mean that we try to ignore those less-than-perfect parts of this person, turning our focus on the “good bits”, which is often what happens in relationships. This is not even an option for twin flames since the eyes of true love see so deeply into the other’s soul that those imperfections are very clear to us and could not be hidden from view. Rather, instead of denying these parts we love them just as much as we love all the outwardly and inwardly good things about them. The imperfections are what make them fragile and creates an intimacy, a bearing of the soul and closeness that cannot be denied.
True love is a spiritual practice
True Love has no linear progression since it has no beginning and no end. It isn’t a roller-coaster of ups and downs, but rather a swirling vortex, which lifts us on its expanding spiral currents, transcending the prison of self-centeredness. It gives the two people a glimpse of the divinity within them both. Time does not affect true love for it does not exist on the same plane. Ultimately therefore, true love is a spiritual practice which connects us with ourselves and with others at soul level and since it comes from Spirit; it also creates a living connection to God and to a greater purpose.
In romantic love we start out with a supply of love which diminishes every time our lover fails to return our love or behaves in less than acceptable ways. We become frustrated, angry and think that their behaviour means that we are unloved and undesirable. However true love for our twin flame comes from God. It is divine love, regenerative and unbreakable. It is a calling to love another imperfect person as if they are already perfect to us – because in the eyes of our soul they already are. It is a calling to love them, this other aspect of ourselves, so much that everything else simply falls away; to love without conditions even when we cannot understand why or where from, and even when it seems too much to ask. The more imperfect they are, the more they behave in ways that we cannot accept or understand, the more we should love them. This doesn’t mean that we should accept any kind of behaviour from them, but that our love for them remains as strong as ever despite what they do or say.
Real love is divine; it comes from a relationship with God. It is a spiritual union which mixes friendship, a love affair and an act of worship; a mystical dance which takes us beyond our human ego into the realm of timeless, eternal, immortal and sublime love. As Twin Flames, we are here to create a shift in the hearts of humanity. We do this by embodying our Highest self and by remembering how to love an imperfect being perfectly – bringing something that is Heavenly, eternal and pure into this third dimensional plane. Such love nourishes and expands our heart to love everyone and creates revolutionary ripples of unity throughout all dimensions and timelines. Through surrender we learn that such love can never run out – even when it is not being returned. Since it comes from God in abundant supply, the more we draw at the fountain, the more abundantly it flows into our lives, regardless of what our Twin Flame is doing. Then our hearts no longer suffer with the “what ifs” but rather celebrate the love that ALREADY IS, in every moment of the eternal NOW.
To keep riding the ebbs and flows of this love asks for patience and resilience. This dance of the two souls requires our full surrender and trust for the connection, the process, ourselves, our Twin and God to allow things to unfold in their own way within the endless possibilities, limitless forms and abundant expressions of this love. When we surrender and set it free, we find that God works in our favour and if the love is true, it returns to us glorified because it knows NO OTHER WAY. As twin flames we must never give up hope but rather to keep making the choice of LOVE because that’s how it’s meant to be. We are meant to be together to love each other, to help each other, to catch each other when we fall, to light each other’s paths, to give each other wings to fly and to ultimately return to each other and to God.
Mirror of my soul - Stories of you, me, the world and eternity 