Mirror of my soul – Stories of you, me, the world and eternity

When our search for The One leads us to ourselves


The Twin flame connection carries enormous transformational potential but also comes with a higher purpose; that of bringing new paradigm of heart-based living and spiritual partnerships to the Earth through the clearing of lower vibrational templates. When we as twin flames agreed to take on these patterns as part of our blueprint we knew that the deeper and darker the pattern within us, the brighter the influx of healing light and love on the planet when this pattern was released. It is for this very reason that many of us chose to incarnate into some of the most dysfunctional families on earth – so that through our personal growth we could bring maximum benefit to all.

Being born into a wounded family, we could so easily slip down the path of dysfunction ourselves. Yet no matter what our lives are like, we all have the same opportunity to start anew with each day that is gifted to us. Sure enough, the struggle to break the cycles of abuse and addiction is real, but so is the potential for transformation allowing us to become more than the sum of our upbringing and inherited patterns. Since our growth is often reflected in the types of relationships we attract into our lives, the “rite of passage” for many Twin flames is the relationship with a narcissist, who often comes into our life as a “near twin” or a karmic partner prior to our meeting with the Twin flame.

It is a fact of life that as born healers and empaths, we tend to gravitate towards those who are wounded and in need of healing. We easily tap into the feelings, thoughts and emotions of others, understanding them intuitively; however we also often lack the ability to guard ourselves energetically, or to lay down healthy boundaries. This narcissist on the other hand is not interested in healing: he is a taker, an energetic vampire, ready to suck the life out of the kind-hearted empath. He has no self-love and no interest in hiding his needs: after all if he did these might be ignored. The empath, unable to see this manipulative agenda, quickly becomes attached to the narcissist in an attempt to “fix” him and heal all his pain – believing that as long as they do this he will love them back and not abandon them. Yet the more the empath offers their love and care, the more the narcissist’s grip on them tightens, sinking them deeper and deeper into despair.

Many twin flames have experienced these kinds of destructive dynamics prior to meeting each other and many are in such a relationship when they meet. Needless to say, this causes a lot of turmoil and it may be difficult for the Twin flame partner to understand why the other finds it so hard to leave. The thing is, in this dynamic the empath’s self-esteem comes to depend on the narcissist’s acceptance and love. They are desperate for it – even when the relationship is not working. When attempts to leave the relationship are met with a barrage of manipulation and emotional blackmail, the empath blames themselves for not having tried hard enough. They feel responsible for making the narcissist feel good and so even when they meet the Twin flame, this wanting to “fix” the narcissist stays with them, now with the added weight of guilt.


In my pre-Twin life, I endured years of abuse at the hands of a man I met when I was just 20. He was simply the funniest, most charming and romantic man I had ever met and I fell madly in love with his joie de vivre, sense of humour and spirit for adventure. Of course, for a long while I was completely oblivious to who he actually was – or to his past. Youngest of five siblings, abandoned by his violent father and raised by his immigrant mother in one of the most deprived suburbs of Paris, he had dropped out of school at 16 and fallen into a life of petty crime and unemployment. The repercussions on his life and character were huge yet in my eyes none of this mattered: after all, I was here now ready to show him what love could do.

From the start, our relationship was one with huge ups and down. His temper would flare up, I would get upset, and he would make it up to me with romantic gestures and so on. The dynamic was exhausting but highly addictive. When the abuse appeared about a year into the relationship through a gradual process of degrading remarks, guilt-trips and then physical violence, I did not know how to handle it. I forgave him, refusing to believe that he would intentionally hurt me: he was only doing it because he had suffered too. Perhaps I had said something to warrant such a strong reaction? It was my naïve belief that I could change him that made me stay. I wanted to show him that I would not hurt him like the rest of the world had. The truth was that I needed him as much as he needed me, and I was desperate for his love. And perhaps – and this is where the patterns passed down the family bloodline start to make sense – I also believed that “true love” did require such commitment and sacrifice.

It took me years and years to even realize that this dysfunctional, co-dependent relationship was almost the exact replica of my grandparents’ toxic marriage which had cast a shadow over three generations of our family. Growing up, I had often heard the stories… My grandfather beating my grandmother up with a hammer… My grandma being admitted to a mental asylum for psychosis… Pictures and cassette recordings of my grandad sat in his living room drunk shouting obscenities… Or simply the tales of my own mother marrying the first man who took her away from the hell that was her childhood. Bit by bit, the reality of my family bloodline became clearer to me.

As a child, I had never understood why my grandmother chose to stay and play the martyr in that marriage all those years (55 to be exact). Now I found myself in a very similar situation. Even though I tried to leave more times than I care to remember, the huge ups and downs never gave me the time to get my head straight. When things were good, they were fantastic and it was easy to become complaisant. He was extremely charismatic and manipulative and had a powerful way of turning things around; always making sure I knew he blamed me for his pain. When I emotionally exhausted struggled to understand his behavior, he would tell me there was something wrong with me or that I was “making a fuss”. For my own sanity I always ended up adjusting to what I was being told, allowing the vicious cycle to continue.


This man obviously was not my Twin flame and I never mistook him for one, although they came from the same Muslim country. Ironically this man’s tendency to push me past my comfort zone was what got me started in the career and job which actually led me to my Twin flame. In a further twist, I met my Twin flame on the day of our 5th anniversary. Meeting him, as you can imagine, was like being pulled into another dimension. I went from complete desperation into a world of love, hope and validation in an instant – everything about “me” finally made sense as I saw my true self reflected back in his eyes. I knew immediately what a LIE my life had been and how I had been selling myself short all these years. Within days, after an entire night spent walking around Paris with my Twin, I went home and tried to end the relationship. Just like so many times before, it ended up in a fight.

The weeks that followed were both the best and worst times of my life. I was spending every possible moment with my Twin while simultaneously being forced to deal with my boyfriend’s emotional displays; ranging from angry, threatening and violent to suicidal, depressed and deeply distraught. I didn’t want to tell my Twin how difficult I was finding it all; after all, it should have been a no-brainer: abusive co-dependency or true love and freedom? Looking back, my twin probably thought I was “choosing” between him and my boyfriend (and he often indicated this), however this was never the case; I just didn’t know how to deal with the guilt or my boyfriend’s pain without wanting to fix it. I kept agreeing to see him, trying to help and suffered physical, mental and emotional abuse on several occasions because of it; he even kicked down the door of my rented property in a rage. Yet even when I called the police terrified of what he’d do to me, I was the one who felt guilty.

Although my twin knew about the incident with the door, I avoided telling him the full extent of my troubles. Being with him made all the bad things just fade away and I didn’t feel like the relationship with my boyfriend was anything that he would or should be concerned about. I naively thought that I had a lot of time to let my boyfriend go “smoothly”, and that at the end of it I would be free to pursue this new reality with my Twin; as friends, lovers or whatever. How wrong was I! Unfortunately, pretty much as soon as my boyfriend took a step back, my Twin jumped back two! It was unexplainable as we had been joined at the hip for weeks. Now however I was suddenly at the bottom of his priority list.

Little did I know my Twin flame (who had told me he was separated from his wife when we met) was also struggling with his feelings of guilt regarding leaving his marriage; he too was dealing with suicide threats and emotional blackmail. He ended up giving me a whole speech about how we were just friends (with everything else being an “added bonus”) and how his duty was to his wife.  I UNDERSTOOD him and his situation 100% since it was not dissimilar to mine, yet instead of bringing us closer it pulled us apart. He blamed me for having expectations – and I accused him of denying our connection. One day, he turned to me and said “If only we had magical wands to fix each other’s issues: you’d fix mine and I’d fix yours”… Yet somehow, even in the midst of trying to fix others, we knew this was not how OUR connection was wired.

Before I could really address the growing distance between us, his wife arrived for a visit and I pulled back, out of respect and hurt. I ended up running and blocking him, unable to deal with the mixture of rejection, loneliness, heartbreak and soul-searing pain coming my way. I no longer recognized myself: this grief-stricken, sobbing emotional wreck of a woman was not me. I just wanted to feel “normal” again. After a few weeks spent gasping for air like a fish out of water curled up on the floor of my Parisian basement flat, I began attempting to grab hold of ANYTHING that could pull me out of this hell hole – and it was my boyfriend who held out his hand. As crazy as it sounds, he reminded me of how uncomplicated my unconscious pre-twin life had been: how easy it had been NOT having to face myself and NOT having every dysfunction in my life cruelly highlighted to me. All I wanted was to forget all the pain.

Eventually I reasoned that I might as well return to what was familiar to me, i.e. my relationship with my boyfriend, because no matter how toxic, it was also predictable and “safe. He wasn’t perfect but we had a lot of history, and he had been the only thing that kept me from going insane during the darkest days of feeling the loss of my Twin. I reasoned with myself that this is what love is: attachment, taking care of each other, needing each other, compromise. I knew that if the immense love that I had just experienced for my Twin could not pull me away from my desperate situation then NOTHING and no one could do it. With it gone so were my dreams. The truth was that the person I thought would be my saviour didn’t even care enough to treat me as a friend. Instead, he made an empath’s bigger fear come true, i.e. “If I open myself up and show that I have needs, I will be abandoned”.

I knew I couldn’t go back to living the life I had before and so in the months that followed the whole dynamic of my relationship with my boyfriend changed; mostly because I no longer acted like a victim. We embarked on the spiritual path together, travelling the world – and I genuinely felt happier for a year or two, until pushed by my kundalini awakening I returned to my Twin, not knowing what to expect or even why I was doing it. Despite the highly emotional union which confirmed that the connection was mutual, real and true, the old issues and triggers came to the surface again. Both our dysfunctional relationships were still part of our lives – and while each of us at different points in the next year tried to leave we ended up triggering each other into another separation.

Nevertheless, the ignition from my twin was so powerful the second time around that I knew I needed to get out of my toxic relationship regardless of what he chose to do. It was no coincidence he was back in my life, and I knew it. The year that followed was the most intensive of my life as I faced a barrage of threats, violence and insults from my boyfriend followed by tears every time I brought up the subject of separation – while simultaneously being pushed internally to keep doing just that. By this point, I had been with my boyfriend for 10 years; of which I had known my twin for 5. During this time he had managed to alienate me from family and friends and gotten me into thousands of pounds worth of debt. I even left my job that I loved in an attempt to get away from him.

In February 2007, things finally went down with my boyfriend but it was not the amicable ending I had always hoped for. With the pressure of the impending separation, one night he assaulted me with a kitchen knife, holding me hostage in my own flat and threatening to kill me. After an entire night of being battered around by him I finally managed to lock myself in the bathroom and call the police who came and arrested him. Yet my ordeal was far from over. After he was released on bail pending trial, I endured several months of harassment from him despite the restraining order that was in place. I genuinely feared for my life and was terrified to leave my house. At the edge of a mental breakdown and having failed to reason with him (because like a fool I still tried) I had him arrested when he returned to shout threats through my intercom. This was the last time I saw him as he was remanded in custody pending trial.

A few months later, as the trial date was only a few days away, I received the devastating phone call telling me my boyfriend had committed suicide in custody. He had addressed his suicide note to me, insisting he had never wanted to hurt me and blaming his desperate action on my misunderstanding of his behaviour and motives. It was his final attempt to destroy me.

This person, for all the pain that he caused me, also delivered some of the biggest lessons in my life – lessons that it would take me years to truly understand. He taught me what can happen when we overstay relationships under the pretext that we care about the other person and feel “responsible” for them. He also taught me that loving someone does not always mean sticking by them no matter what – discernment MUST be used to determine whether our actions support their/our soul or ego. Furthermore, since by default our nature is to be always on the lookout for someone to love (and ultimately fix), we must always treat ourselves with at least the same compassion that we have for others. We must always remember that the way others treat us is not reflective of our true value, but of how we ALLOW them to treat us. As such, healthy boundaries and self-love are absolutely crucial to an empath’s survival!

Sadly one of the reasons so many Unions are being held back is that a lot of Twin flames are still walking wounded, either recovering from or still struggling with the abusive, narcissist and co-dependent partners and relations. Many still believe they have no choice, hiding behind their unfulfilling marriages or their Twin flame’s “rejection” of their connection. Many feel things simply didn’t “work out” (i.e. they didn’t get what they wanted exactly when they wanted it), however the truth is that we cannot EVER expect to permanently jump from dysfunction straight into a new reality and vibration with our Twin flame. Some serious self-work is needed, including a deep-dive within to release all the patterns keeping us stuck in the very victim mentality which has made us give our power away. The new patterns which enable Union have to emerge within ourselves first before the higher call for Union can bring the Twins back together – after all, our Twin flame cannot come to us until we love all parts of our Self; until we are all that we seek.

42 thoughts on “Twin Flames and the Narcissistic Lover: When our need to rescue others stands in the way of Union

  1. ginamperkins says:

    Please keep writing! Your story is so inspiring to me. You are helping me in my own growth through this crazy Twin Flame road I’m on. I like how you break down your true feelings and thoughts to get to the real heart of the matter, often I’ll re read & think on your article for several days. You are such a breadth of fresh air from some of the drama filled twin flame articles out there. You really have a gift, and you are using it to help others! Many many blessings to you and yours😘 G

    On Friday, December 11, 2015, The Mirror of My Soul – Stories of you, me

    Liked by 1 person

    1. doucejonna says:

      Dear Ginamperkins, Merry Christmas and thank YOU for taking the time to leave such a lovely comment on my blog. 🙂 I am glad to hear that my way of breaking down my true feelings is helping you along your path too. Like you rightly indicated, I definitely want to stay away from the twin flame drama (even though I understand it very well, lol) because true growth only really happens once we get to know ourselves and start to balance our inner energies. It really has very little to do with what the other Twin is or isn’t doing on the outside – it’s a inside job, if you will :). Blessings to you, love Jonna xx


  2. Reblogged this on Intuit. Empower. Awaken. and commented:
    Bravo Jonna!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. doucejonna says:

      Thank you victoriazaitz for your support and friendship. Merry Christmas to you!

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Thank you so much for this, and your sharing…wow what an amazingly hard road and how much you have obviously learned from it. I am in awe and proud that you are a member of the TF tribe. You represent the best of us 🙂 Much love, V


    1. doucejonna says:

      Dear Victoria, thank you for the reblog and the lovely comment. I guess I wanted to talk about this difficult part of my past life as a reminder to myself of just how far I have come. For us twin flames as the years roll by with no reunion in sight, it is all too easy to fall into despair thinking about all the years we’ve wasted and how short life is etc. But if we zoom out of focusing solely on the other and allow the many other blessings of this journey to become apparent to us, we may well see a miracle or a few, along with personal/spiritual empowerment and joy. This has certainly been my own experience. Thank you for your support dear friend. Love, Jonna xx

      Liked by 1 person

      1. soBnuts says:

        Even if not years, it’s easy to fall into despair. That’s why I am trying to avoid her in hopes she can’t blame me for the problems anymore and hopefully find the self-love I have. It is so heart-wrenching just to lay eyes on her, and worse, she keeps trying to stay in contact.


  4. kymber6 says:

    Thank you Jonna. Just what I was waiting for. Kim


    1. doucejonna says:

      You’re welcome dear Kim, hope all is well with you. Love and Christmas blessings, Jonna


  5. Amor says:

    Thank you for sharing your story. Very inspiring. I see the similarities in my life and family. Please keep writing.


    1. doucejonna says:

      Dear Amor, Merry Christmas and thank you for taking the time to share some love 🙂 I am glad to be of service. Love & blessings, Jonna


  6. vita says:

    Keep up helping others with ur Talent, that helps you back. Thank You, my sincere Sorry for your wrecking experiences, deep pain and loss. I wish you to love yourself and find Happinez inside. 🙂 ❤


    1. doucejonna says:

      Dear Vita, Merry Christmas and thank you for these lovely wishes. Please do not feel bad for me; all the negative and painful experiences also served to make me the strong person that I am today and provided the dualistic backdrop against which the entry of my Twin flame into my life created such an impact. The self-love and the happiness inside those all came as a result of this painful yet also beautiful journey. Blessings to you dear friend. Love from Jonna x


      1. vita says:

        Thank You 🙂 I am not feeling bad or sorry for You, just compassion as I know how it is. As know that no one is guilty for us, we accept and allow that life and experiences. No one is a bad person but a victim of generations continued of loveless traumas, for example u find it in a bible about seven generations to heal. U sure know that, is not help to be co-dependent but destroying, that is rather our neediness if we are stay sticked, not care about the other.. Much love 🙂


      2. vita says:

        Hey, I think our needeenes is selfish cruel, we want soo much and are ever satisfied, cause we draining others all the time to give us something we are not willing to give to ourselves, and that is none gratyfing relationship for the other as well. I am not better than you, I’m learning to accept that nobody is chosing that life for me but myself, nobody has the power about me than myself, and so nobody is to blame but me, if I am to blame, I think not, just to blame not been there for me yes, sure. TF’s teaching us exactly that, to be there for ourselves and care for ourselves, to stop wanting them or others to fil us up and fix us, flick our wounds, without us to commit to do that. I wish all of us just step back from the wish to be with the TF and running from ourselves, but to give all we want from them to ourselves, at least it is a proud and honest work. Finally it is so, that if we really 1000 % are there for us then only Love and Miracles happen, because Love resonates Love, Victimhood Victimhood. Much Love and Appreciation, Thank you for Connection 🙂 ❤


  7. K says:

    I was once told one remembers then forgets, remembers then forgets TYVM for the reminder 🙂 In faith and belief, K


    1. doucejonna says:

      Yes K, this journey, this lifetime, is certainly all about rising into remembrance… And how do we do this? Through remembering, then forgetting, then remembering again.. 🙂


  8. Laurie says:

    Thank you so much for telling your story!! I cannot believe how it is almost IDENTICAL to my twin flame story…unbelievable!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. doucejonna says:

      Dear Laurie, thank you for taking the time to share this lovely comment with me. It’s amazing to know that there are others out there experiencing very similar if not identical experiences! I do hope that you will keep reading. Love & blessings from Jonna x


      1. Laurie says:

        I will definitely keep reading! I found so much comfort in this story that you wrote! It was almost like I was reading mine and gave me this whole other prospective on why this whole scenario played out between my twin, my narcissist ex and me. I didn’t realize how much my self esteem plummeted and that I almost completely closed my heart because of the rejection of my TF(I didn’t know he was my TF then) and I was so surprised and ashamed that “I cheated” on my ex-narcissist with him. I knew there was a very strong connection to my twin with many synchronistic events and I thought he felt them too, so after he rejected me for the final time, I would not let myself feel the deep feelings I was having for him and thought I surely couldn’t trust my intuition because look where it took me. I did not even think of him again until after I went through “The Dark Night of the Soul,” and get getting messages of him being my twin. I took me a long time to accept that because I just totally erased him from my mind and heart. I can now just see the Divine Perfection in all that has occurred and a big part of that was stumbling upon your story! Then I was googling to find more info on this subject and one of your articles appeared again…”The Power of Surrender as a catalyst for Twin Flame Reunion,” and wow!…just what I needed to see!!…so much emotion came out, especially upon reading, “Throughout the years I told myself many lies, including that I had simply not been worthy of this love, however the biggest lie was that I could find my wholeness outside of anything other than my truth. I was not understanding that for me to be who I really am I needed to allow the LOVE that I felt for him to flow through me, because it was this love which nourished and sustained me at the core. In fact, blocking this love which kept growing with each day was making me ill: physically and emotionally.”… I soooo much needed to hear this and did some clearing on this today and feel lighter and uplifted!! Once again, I can not thank you enough for sharing your story and am soooo glad I was led to your website!!!…Sending much love and gratitude<3

        Liked by 1 person

      2. doucejonna says:

        Thank you Laurie from the bottom of my heart. You cannot even imagine how much reading your comment resonates with what I myself went through.. I also after Our first summer together completely erased him from my mind and heart and it was only after my kundalini awakening that I was literally forced to get in touch with him again.. Despite myself and not even understanding why. The confirmation that he was my twin came around this time too – and it definitely wasn’t anything I wanted lol… Thank you for reminding me of the long way that I have come. Love and blessings, Jonna


      3. LAdy says:

        I cannot believe how much this story mirrors mine. I am married to a narcissist. I met my TF 3 years ago. He and I have taken turns running. At times I have felt comfort in the marriage as dysfunctional as it is. I plan to leave when my daughter is grown. I fear that my husband will kill him elf as he has threatened this before. My twin was also married to a narcissist so on some level understands.


  9. Giorgio says:

    Dear doucejonna

    “Being born into a wounded family, we could so easily slip down the path of dysfunction ourselves. Yet no matter what our lives are like, we all have the same opportunity to start anew with each day that is gifted to us.”
    Firstly, thank you for all your beautiful insight of all this live through this amazing literature.
    I am reading and searching different literature that are on this beautiful and very spiritual blog, rthrough which I can possibly make out some sense into my present situation.
    I appreciate your comments in your last reply and it has opened my eyes a little about a few things.
    Still though, I must keep it all in perspective. I felt very strongly about my connection with my Twin Flame. Jonna as you told me , if she is my Twin Flame she would only be a heart beat away at all times. With that in mind, I can rest assured that she is my Twin Flame. I am 100% sure.
    No matter what has transpired, my Twin is going through a lot at the Moment. I could feel her rejecting me. I am able to feel her anger and her feelings of trying to get away from me as she wanted her old life back.
    She has left home and I believe that she has made a decision that she will be with this guy in her next chapter of this life. Obviously she is well and truly into a life of Ego again. Going through changes ( 53) in her life has only increased her reasons of feeling lack of self worth, unloved, cheated and this has put her onto an old path of what she feels is self live and total control of her life. What she is doing now is not what I would consider to be appropriate. This guy seems to do it for her, but that is not my concern now. Nevertheless, I have myself had, a lot of angry moments to deal with. As I am going through my own settlement from my past chapter in marriage, with my breakup, my Twin sees no stabile financial future with me, as there is uncertainty with what my settlement outcome and what it might finally bring with it.

    Apart from all this, I am feeling her rejection and fears. Her new contact in her life has been very strong in his influence as she has felt insecure and hurt. He has got her and life is what it is. All a part of our growth within our journey I am sure. I accept all that and yet, I am trying very hard to understand how this is all going to progress – be it positively or negatively whether we end up together or not .

    Of course, I always am positive more than ever. A break up is a very traumatic time and we do and think very differently as we go through the changes as they unfold. As sure and comforting as it might seem having someone new, it can be the road to the unforeseen precipice that will bring more heart ache and more sorrow as a things unfold. It is a very much a 3rd Dimensional situation if we don t acknowledge the spiritual path .
    As far as I am concerned my last encounter with my Twin has confirmed that she is still very upset about what I did in how I went about trying to get some commitment between us. she has left the building and moced on.
    Well, she is adamantly sure that we are finished. She is so so angry at me, and probably at herself as well.
    I on the other hand , instead of going through more details about what I think is going on , I would rather concentrate on surrendering and working towards getting myself strong, positive more than ever to send to her good energy and clarity of my love for her through telepathic ways. If I love myself enough there is a good possibility that we could reopen a positive channel and move forward positively. I MUST understand that I truly feel that, although there is a lot of work to be done here. I have to have my faith in the source and let God do the work now.
    The Kundalini is very clear about this. Once it all starts it is out of our hands what the outcome is. I must go the journey alone to find peace within myself. I do believe that if I work diligently and with focus together with my unconditional love that I have for her, irrespective of who else is in her life , I should find more peace within . I have been asking too many questions, going through too much karmic and messy anger; It is NOT THE WAY TO ACHIEVE ANYTHING, certainly not anything that would bring us to reunion .
    I love my Twin. Jonna, I am mixed up into a very knotted and unclear path at the moment. One of disappointment, perhaps regret for doing things the way I did them. I accept my own responsibility , that of my own actions rather than point the finger at my Twin Flame and her actions. what is , is actually what is. No matter what there is. I am recovering from some of the pain , I have been disheartened about where I am on my journey. Disillusioned to a point about this whole Twin Flame theorisation.
    Yet, I have been coming to this conclusion all the time. One that I cannot , JUST CANNOT WAVER MY IMMENSE LOVE FOR HER.
    I have been trying to make some sense even to the point of trying my hardest to deny that she is My Twin Flame.

    I look at my Twin and I melt. I just melt and get frustrated at her actions. I keep falling into the 3 rd Dimension way of thinking. I thought that, I was on my journey to the 5 th Dimension with all this but we cannot make someone love us and see things as we perceive from our sole perspective.
    Well, frustration to a point but I am giving my thoughts and love to my Twin through the Source that has so much power than any other entity. I must have faith and love in the source more than anything else . I must try to get to the 5th Dimension at all costs. l have faith that my love for her will get me there . In any case ‘ I don t want any other ‘ anyway.
    I had an amazing time talking to my 90 year old Aunty . She lost her husband and yet she has these amazing feelings with him. As we spoke and she listened to me she said to me, ” don t have anyone else anymore. Stay on your own now”.
    My faith in my creator is the ultimate and most powerful of all strengths that I have. I don t have a crystal ball but I have the best thing that I could ever have; my Lord beside me holding my hand to move along to the 5th Dimension. I ask that I will reunion if Gid allows me to and heaven is where I want to end up. To enter the doors of heaven I must have one complete soul.
    I adore My Twin like nothing else in this creation. Because I do, I believe in US AND our creator .

    There must be a purpose higher than I can ever imagine for all that has transpired until now. One thing is for sure – I have nohhing but love for her no matter what.

    Thank you jonna XXX



    1. K says:

      Hi….I know you addressed your question to Jonna but I saw this and thought of you, Giorgio, actually everyone and anyone walking this planet at this time in history “.As the shadow of the old paradigm fades, and the portal to new beginnings welcomes us in, on this night of nights, it comes down to entering the mystery with an open heart, and a clear mind. Think about what that might mean for us, personally and collectively — and while you’re at it, expand your sense of what it means to be centered and whole, consider your place in the scheme of things, open your soul to the blessings of the season” The TF relationship is STILL a relationship between 2 3rd dimensional people with all of the same nonTF issues ….nothing magical about it…functional intimacy issues with self and others is just hard work. I suppose that is what I keep trying to say THERE IS NO EASY WAY OUT OF THE 3RD DIMENSIONAL WORK. I look at my TF and KNOW he is not going to SAVE me from myself and my issues…I need to do that work..but what he has done for me is illuminate a bright star off in the distant horizon to move towards. He has given me a direction and a purpose, He and I can help each other but we can also hinder each other because WE are also we and have very 3rd dimensional human elements about ourselves. Issues that are no different from every other couple on this planet….just sayin’ whatever issues you have had with other past relationships Giorgio are probably STILL present in this TF one…
      Cheers to the reality of a centered and grounded NY!!!!!!
      In faith and belief, K


  10. Virginie says:

    “Hi…!” 🙂 ❤ 🙂 "Aïe…!"


    1. doucejonna says:

      Hi Virginie, is this a Twin flame film? Love, Jonna


  11. seipati79 says:

    Thank you for sharing Jonna-absolutely resonant. What a gift your experience is to many of us.


    1. doucejonna says:

      Thank you seipati79 for the lovely comment and words of appreciation. Love and blessings to you for the new year. Jonna x


  12. oliviasunur says:

    Thank you for the amazing blog, Jonna.

    I’ve only come across the Twin Flame term just a little over 2 days ago. I’ve been trying to make sense the relationship I had with my ex fiance and when I finally found the answer, I was glad I wasn’t the only one experiencing this type of relationship as well as shocked how my love life with him can be accurately described in stages. I’m currently in the separation process, still new, just about a month. When he ran unexpectedly, I was so devastated and confused. From reading your blog about clearing the bloodlines, I realised my twin flame has unfinished business he needs to take care first. His biggest trial is his family. He was raised by a narcissist, possessive mother, no father figure to guide him, a brother who doesn’t care about anyone else but himself, and a bully sister in law. He was so consumed by arrogance, lacking empathy and wisdom. To cut it short, his traits are opposite of mine. When he was with me he was amazing and I gave him the love he needed to be better and happy and so did he to me. We were one and we bonded by the number 11. We became more spiritually serious and started to go to the church and prayed together because of this strange bond we both felt. When he gradually changed to someone with a positive attitude, his mother was questioning his changing and I saw she didn’t like that. I never tried to change him, what I did was only to help him improve his real potential and he followed my advice. His family could easily exlude and include me in the family whenever they liked and it drove me crazy as I come from the family who are close with each other. They also wanted me to do things against my principle, forcing me to do certain things that I knew morally wrong. I could not do those things. This when his mother started to influence him, telling him nonsense, blackmailing him, and last but not least, asking him to break up with me. Long story short, he chose to run back to his family and since then, what I did in the past while we were still together is all wrong according to him. His mind is cluttered with negative, antagonistic thoughts about me and always feels scared. He still chose to run even when God was trying to help him by randomly bumping into friends who advised him not to take the easy way. He still chose to run when he prayed to God asking for help and God answered his prayer. He still chose to run even when he went to Sunday mass right after he left me and coincidentally the sermon was about companionship. The saddest part is, he doesn’t believe in anything divine anymore. As someone who loves him dearly, it breaks my heart to see him lose faith and belief in God’s will and miracle. However, I’m getting stronger as I gradually surrender to God’s will. I also feel relieved when I also let him go and let God heal him. I accept the fact I cannot help him anymore. He has to help himself.


  13. doucejonna says:

    Thank you Ollie for taking the time to comment and share a little of your story. Wishing you healing and blessings on your path. Love, J


  14. Brandi Thomas says:

    Wow! Thank you for sharing your story. It closely resembles my life. Except in in the process of leaving a nearly 15 year marriage. 5 years ago while I was separated from my legal husband I met a guy who I believe is my twin flame. We had this really intense connection that I think scared the both of us. One night right after being intimate. With me sitting in on the floor and him on the couch. My head laid in his lap with my eyes closed listening to the still silence. I felt this deep urge from the depth of my stomach and heard the thought “I love you”. I lifted my head up and almost said it out loud but I quickly stopped myself because how could I love him if I barely knew him. I quickly laid my head back down. Then he grabbed my head kisses me, gets on the floor with me and kissed me again. He then pulls back with this dazed and confused look on his face. I ask him what’s wrong? He looks at me confused and says ” I don’t know? I feel like I want to say I love you. It’s like I heard it or something.” I was stunned. Did he hear my thoughts? Were those even my thoughts? Who’s thoughts were they? His? Mine? God’s? We were virtually inseparable after that. But within a few weeks we quickly selevated. He was angry with me for trying to let my husband down gently. He accused me of not choosing him. I talked to them both and made it very clear that I was going to continue seeine my twin flame. My husband refused to let go. He said I was going through a phase. He stalked us while we were together. My twin fled.


  15. Nathina Powell says:

    This is my family history aswell. I meet my karmic twin at 20 too. I am not sure who my twin flame is though. It’s like wow my karmic twin was very abusive.


  16. kachinacat says:

    Bless you, and thank you for sharing. Your story echoed experiences i had in an abusive relationship a long time ago. We dont go through easy experiences in this lifetime do we? I do feel that the control agendas and beings on the planet cause a lot of the pain and discord/drama between people too. It feels a long journey back to seeing clearly again.
    Love and blessings on your path


  17. Amy says:

    My twin flame killed himself . i dont know how to feel hes gone. How do i forget and live again .


  18. Lost says:

    My twin flame killed himself . i dont know how to feel hes gone. How do i forget and live again 8.


  19. Michelle says:

    Hi everyone, I just found a website which helps those in a relationship with a narcissist. I found the following article mind altering: https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/how-to-make-the-narcissist-powerless-to-affect-your-life/.

    This really got me: “One of the most powerful reasons you have drawn a narcissist into your life is to break you out of the illusions of the human experience – which is: we are powerful in ‘doing’.”

    I’m going to sign up and will let y’all know how it worked for me. Thought I should share because there is nothing more soul destroying than being in a relationship with a narc.

    Doucejonna, thank you very much for your blog. Your blog is the only blog I go to for twin advice when I get stuck. You made a difference in my life. Mwah!


  20. Thank you for this article. It closely resembles my own experience except my TF is in the relationship with an abusive narcissist. I met him six months ago. He had come to my city to study and to escape from his narcissist ex-partner, who “accidentally” got pregnant after being with him for two months and who abused him emotionally, verbally, mentally and physically. From our first date we had an immediate connection. I had never felt so happy and full of joy in my life as I did with him. In our first few weeks together I could barely sleep. I was filled with an energy that I had never experienced before. I fell in love with him very quickly and we both professed our love for each other within a few weeks of being together. I felt at home when I was with him in a way I’d never felt before. We would often see “1111” and other repeating numbers while together and sometimes it was as if we just knew what the other person was thinking and feeling.

    But he never fully committed to our connection because of his guilt over his son. His ex has constantly threatened to take his son away and he is afraid that moving on from his ex will push her over the edge. I don’t think he realises that we are TF and I don’t think he is open to our connection at all. He has closed it off from the beginning and yet keeps coming back to me. We have both been running and chasing since we met but until now, we always came back to each other. I finally ended things recently after he made it clear our relationship has no future due to his son. Now I’m devastated to discover he is back with his ex. I have done everything I can throughout our relationship to be the opposite of his ex – trying to make him feel loved and valued and nurtured. And to have him reject me for a woman he says he doesn’t love who treats him terribly and tricked him into being with her – it breaks my heart.

    I am beginning to doubt that we are TF. Surely if we were then he could never choose such a terrible, abusive person over me? I am also scared that the longer he stays with this woman, the less our chances are of ever reuniting. I know that this woman IS NOT his TF or soulmate and that she is a karmic relationship for him. But I am starting to think it would just be easier to move on and find someone who loves me and values me and wants to commit to me now. It breaks my heart but I feel so unloved and disrespected by him. I am trying to understand that it is difficult to leave an abusive relationship, but I did everything I could to show him what an amazing relationship could be like and STILL he went back to her.


  21. Jess says:

    Thank you for sharing… I’m in need of a word of encouragement right now. I miss my twin flame so much, and he’s on my mind the entire time. I can’t seem to have a moment to myself. I’m exhausted on all fronts. Just like when we broke up, back then the pain exceeded all my limits and imagination.

    I thought I was getting better. At one point I REALLY saw with my own ‘eyes’ that my heart was not hurting, it had always been the ego that was hurting. And I saw how I had been fooled the entire time, by my ego and its endless blankets that wrap up everything and distort everything. The ego had been hiding everywhere, even under the ‘beautiful’ labels of love and compassion. I thought I saw the light… I saw that there is no ‘me’ standing against the universe, no ‘over-against-ness’, like Heidegger said.

    But that light, like my twin flame, left me AGAIN. It didn’t stay for real. Right now I feel like I am suffering from double vision, the ego and the heart…. I’m seeing two kinds of visions at once and none of them is entirely clear and permanent. They’re all just flickering. And I’m lost. AGAIN! I’m deep in pain and darkness. AGAIN! I am at a loss. I am so tired and weak…


  22. frank says:

    Twin flames is a bs new age concept to justify adultery and massive amounts of illicit sex!


    1. doucejonna says:

      Actually there often isn’t sex lol.


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