Mirror of my soul – Stories of you, me, the world and eternity

So many spiritual paths, while seeking the same closeness with the Creator, still manage to uphold the illusion of separation. God is made into something so vast, so unattainable, that we forget and are discouraged from exercising our own ability to reach into the spiritual realms, to reach God and to commune with Him, where in truth this close relationship with Him is needed.

The meeting with our beloved is in many ways an invitation from God to re-establish this personal relationship since it offers not only the potential for self-realization but also for the realization of God. Just like the twin flame reunion first happens in consciousness before a physical reunion of the two human individuals can happen, the closeness with God is a prerequisite of our lasting union with our beloved, to be realized through the process of surrender.

To truly start to yearn for God, God must at some point give us a glimpse of His sublime existence. The predestined meeting of the twins happens for the very purpose of igniting this longing within both; however we rarely realize that it is God that we are in longing for and instead associate all our longing and love with our twin. When we seek to know God in this way (initially disguised as a longing for our beloved) this progressively expands the consciousness of the two souls. Furthermore, the strong bonding this creates between the coupling guarantees the accomplishment of the spiritual purpose behind the meeting regardless of whether the two individuals are outwardly ready to complete the work or not.

Part of this expansion is the humble realization that our beloved was sent to us by God to challenge us and to awaken us so that we could be guided back into Union, into our eternal life and home to God. In the spiritual realms, the twins work together towards achieving this goal, however on the physical plane it takes a certain level of spiritual maturity to be able to discern the intricate way in which God and the lovers themselves guide each other by using the mirror effect as a tool for triggering and healing. As such, the physical plane is only ever a reflection of what God needs the two souls do in order to better serve the union and the shared mission to anchor a higher love from the spiritual realms into the physical realm.

In the same way that being a twin flame provides us with a vehicle of transcendence and ultimately ascension rather than a guarantee of romantic bliss on earth, the source of the immense love that we see reflected in our beloved can only be found by seeking within; since searching for the love that heals the world in the world which is the result of the illusion of separation only creates more illusions. Only pure unconditional love can elevate us and purify our heart in preparation for the ascension back to God. As part of the process we must come to realize our own wholeness and our own perfection because if we don’t, we remain unable to accept the very love that we crave, since the love that we are able to accept directly equates to the love that we are able to give our self.

The divine conspiracy

For the first 25 years of my life I had no idea that a person could reach into the realm of the divine and sublime and experience God in a way that I now know to be true. I was brought up as an atheist and so the whole idea of God or of people having faith in a God seemed ludicrous and foolish to me. Then I met my beloved.

In meeting him, I felt within me but also emanating from him a LOVE so huge and so unlike any that I had ever known. He was like the Sun that warmed up all the unloved, hidden parts of my heart and soul covered by eternal ice, never to be rediscovered, always to be kept from the Light. The feelings of recognition, belonging, and remembrance, of unconditional love, acceptance, friendship and passion knocked me into another dimension. It seemed as if the whole Universe, God, had conspired to bring us together.

I had never felt the closeness of God, or anything remotely like it, but suddenly I caught myself feeling complete, at one with him, the world and with God. All my feelings of not belonging that had plagued me since my earliest childhood suddenly dissipated in the comfort of our immediate and timeless connection and in the call to return “home” emanating from the cosmos which reassured me that this was the love that I had been waiting for all my life. I felt the divine seed within me start to awaken, and I realised that the God that I had denied existed was not in the unattainable vastness of the celestial realms but fully conscious and fully present in me. Clearly this God knew me better than I knew myself by not only sending me my perfect reflection but also the physical manifestation of the person I had loved since the beginning of time. My beloved was so perfect in my eyes that only perfection itself could have created him – of this I was convinced.

Yearning for Oneness

Unfortunately what often follows these shortly lived moments of love, friendship and passion is the inevitable separation – and our story is no different. With our beloved we are so close to the intensity of Oneness of God that nothing other than pure love can withstand it. When we are not able to remain in the high vibration of unconditional love, the magnetic pulls simply reverses and creates repulsion. The reason this happens is that God, just like our beloved, cannot give us our answers until we set ourselves in the correct position towards them. Both are here to point to the answers that are already within us. We are only meant to search within, to get to know ourselves and our own truth, to fully connect with the divine guidance in our hearts, which in turn leads us Home to our beloved and God.

The thing is; when the longing and memory of LOVE of such magnitude is in a person’s heart and when one has tasted such love then one will do everything to feel that love again. Everything, that is, except to face their own soul, their own pain – initially at least. Many get caught in the illusion that somehow they can avoid their internal work and instead seek to find that feeling of fulfilment and nourishment either by pursuing their beloved or by throwing themselves into other relationships, work, casual sex etc. I was no different. Instead of facing myself head on, I fell back into my old relationship, and then eventually into a new one.

Nevertheless, while the soul never stops seeking wholeness, sooner or later it also starts to yearn for the original feeling of Oneness with its source. While it is undeniably the voice of our beloved which beckons to us from the dark when we stand on the edge of surrender, only the closeness with God can fill every empty place, every feeling that is less than whole, less than perfect. In surrender, we reclaim this closeness by releasing our illusion of separation by rising into Oneness with God. It is here that we realize why our beloved has been kept away from us. It is because God does not want us to depend on anyone else for our sense of completion, or for being able to connect with the flow of God’s love within us. We are to recognize the source of these things within our own being first. My beloved once asked me how I had come to know God if I had not read any spiritual books, followed any gurus, or read any Holy Books. To put it simply, since it was with him that I first experienced the closeness of God, I sought God because it was the only way for me to stay close to him. There was no way for me to separate who he is to me from my connection with God. They were always part of the same experience, of the same love.

There is a saying that a woman’s heart must be so lost in God that a man must seek HIM in order to find her – and truly this is what happened. Through my surrender, I gave myself completely to God’s will. He took my emptiness and filled my heart with love and spiritual insights until this love started to overflow. I understood that it had been my error to seek my wholeness through my beloved before finding it within myself. I was then able to go on with my life, safe in the knowing that if my beloved also committed to his evolution and surrendered to God, he too would recognise me as the one who God sent to guide him to salvation.

Once we come to trust the divine plan in place and seek to align ourselves with it, we can simply allow this love to flow freely, without triggers, without expectations, without dilemmas. Knowing that this love comes from our own closeness with God, nothing anyone can do or say can take it away from us. Then once we focus this love towards divine service, then all other life, including our beloved, responds in patterns of their own perfection. This love is then delivered to the world in a joyful act of worship which helps uplift others and points them towards the one clear answer – closeness with God.

On my journey I have learned that the path to true and lasting union is for both individuals, together or apart, to first achieve wholeness within. Both twins must feel these things on their own and must come to recognize themselves as part of the equation, within the bigger plan that God has for them. Ultimately, the union with our beloved is only a reflection of our own togetherness in love with God, which once sealed in the celestial realms has no choice but to manifest into the physical plane as such is the divine law: as above, so below; as within, so without.