The folly of running from love – A Runner Twin Flame perspective

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Whether we understand “Twin Souls” as being two souls eternally bound together or one soul inhabiting two bodies, unmistakably they are the One created for us and with us, to help us awaken and remember the Love that we are. The love between the Twin Souls is so potent and so strong that even if we are unaware of our immortal nature as infinite souls, meeting them awakens within us the knowledge that we have known them since the beginning of time.

Our soul, which contains the universe within itself, has the power in a single instant to recognize its true counterpart. While the timing of this life-changing event may be less than ideal from a human point of view, it is nevertheless predestined. When we meet this other aspect of our self in the fish soup of humanity, memories of REAL, unbridled love come rushing back to us, leaving us in awe and amazement of this wondrous person. We are simply swept away by feelings of recognition, belonging, and remembrance, of unconditional love, intimacy, friendship and passion. These feelings originate in the soul and spread like wild fire to the rest of the body. They are like the Sun appearing after a long, hard winter, warming up all the unloved, hidden parts of our heart and soul, covered by eternal ice, never to be rediscovered, always to be kept from the Light. Not only do they melt the ice from around parts of us that even we ourselves can no longer reach, but they breathe new life into a barren landscape and something flourishes. Every moment as we recognize the power of our closeness with them, not to mention its depth and beauty, we find ourselves blossoming like never before.

The overwhelming feelings that they ignite in us knock us into another dimension. It seems as if the whole Universe, God, has conspired to bring us together. All our feelings of not belonging dissolve in an instant in the most profound home-coming that we have ever known. We wonder at the magic of their touch, at how our minds seem to flow from one source and how somehow we know we are bound to this person, to this soul, eternally. They fill up our senses, and every day is a blessing and every moment spent together a moment of freedom, completion and joy, where our heart and soul can finally rest and breathe.

This ignition of the soul is as scary and confusing as much as it is amazing and expanding. Our twin is oftentimes the first and only person to ever have accepted and validated us completely; to the darkest corners of our soul – they “get us” at a level no one ever has, or ever will. Our endless soul searching stops as we find ourselves being reflected back by the mirror of their soul. Driven by an internal confidence and trust, we share with them our darkest secrets, our deepest dreams and our silliest hopes, and they absorb and reaffirm everything we say with unconditional love.

It is the purpose of the Twin Flame to awaken in us to the remembrance of our own wholeness. They are here to help awaken the love within us, and to set us on the path to becoming an expression of God’s goodness, so that when we return to Love, our purpose in life is revealed to us. As our love for them cracks our heart wide open and the light of our eternal soul shines through, we cannot help but recognise our own infinite beauty and light being reflected back at us in their eyes; leaving us at awe and in love with them and with our own self; for the first time in our lives.

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The come-down

Unfortunately more often than not, after an intense stage of togetherness, sometimes referred to as “bubble love”, lasting anything from days, to a couple of weeks or months, our “normal” life seems to catch up with us, perhaps in the form of a relationship we had hoped to leave, pressure from our families, our own need to contain the connection within the rigid definitions of a friend, lover, future husband etc. As we seek to balance this SPIRITUAL  connection with our conditioned physical realityand previous experiences with what we thought love is, we start to see a widening gap between the two.

The reason for this is that in the opening of our hearts we have come so close to God that only true Love can withstand the intensity – and by contrast all that is not purified within us rises to the surface to be healed. We often find that we are simply not emotionally mature enough to deal with the divine stream of light which our twin unintentionally shines on us, bringing all our deepest secrets and fears onto the surface of our consciousness. This would require us to meet everything that arises with LOVE ONLY, and we can only do this once we have found our wholeness and connected with a higher power.

We catch glimpses of just how deep an integrity and how radical a trust we are being asked to show to truly be in alignment with who we really are, but because it is all new to us, we feel fear and doubts creep in. Our mind, which holds onto memories and pain, has a very hard time comprehending these feelings, or how to deal with them. As the Love calls all that which is unacknowledged and unloved within us to come forth, we remember the first time love hurt, and just like the fast signal from the brain to the hand to remove your hand from a hot plate, we react by pulling ourselves away.

We want to shut these feelings off because we remember that when we loved in the past we got hurt, whether it was by our parents, siblings or previous lovers. We remember the pain and hopelessness of rejection and abandonment, and suddenly we seek excuses to convince ourselves that this wonderful person is not “our type”, or that somehow they don’t have the “full package”. We doubt their genuine feelings for us, distrust the fact that they seem to love us so much so soon and suspect that they or God may be playing a trick on us. We start to feel like perhaps we are safer in the old paradigm, in our soul numbing but predictable, passable and safe existence.

Sometimes it is the actions of our Twin Soul which give us the excuse not to deal with the source of the actual pain, which is our lack of love for our Self. So, instead of seeing another person in pain trying to deal to the best of their ability with all that rises to the surface, JUST LIKE US, we think they are doing something to hurt, confuse or ignore us. We drive ourselves mad ruminating their conflicting statements and behaviour, and how they seem to have changed overnight. We know this distant, cold person is not the REAL them. The more we try to get answers from them, or to make sense of it all, the more we either feel rejected, or go on a crusade to “fix them” by chasing them, thinking that if they only let us in, we would help them “deal with” it.

Unfortunately as Twin Souls, we cannot look to the other for our own wholeness, just as we cannot fix or fill any lack that comes from our Twin’s denial of love for himself. We become runners when the heart expansion ignited by our love for our Twin exposes all our innocence and vulnerability, and the pain that we have been hiding inside since our earliest childhood rushes to the gates of our heart to be acknowledged and EMBRACED.  Here it is no longer the pain caused by our love for our twin which surfaces, but the pain we felt as a child, for example when our mother ignored us, or when our father slapped us for misbehaving, at a time when we simply lacked the emotional maturity to deal with it. If we had been allowed to feel and acknowledge our emotions without fearing that this would attract more pain or that love would be withdrawn from us, we would know that there is nothing that can arise in us that we cannot face.

However, to be able to do this would have required us to have parents that encouraged us to express our emotions; who helped us name and identify them; and who guided us through them. If instead of emotionally oppressing us they had helped us acknowledge our emotions while reassuring us that no matter how we feel or act, we are still GOOD and UNCONDITIONALLY LOVED, then we would not be in so much pain. We would be secure in our knowing that even if our Twin Flame acts up or denies us their love, we are still to the very core of us LOVE. Their behavior and words are not reflective of who we are – and neither are they reflective of who they are at the core, no matter how they are seem to behave.

Unfortunately when meeting our Twin Flame brings all this to surface, often subconsciously, we do not know what to do with all this pain and instead, we think our suffering is being caused by the Twin or our own inbred “badness”. So we do what our parents did to us: we categorize, downplay, ignore and project our feelings and then in an ultimate hara-kiri motion, deny OUR SELF the acknowledgement of that pain, and ultimately that love.

We seek any distraction under the sun to not feel that pain anymore, and we “hide” it under a mountain of doing. If we find that we cannot hide from the pain, then we hide from the one whom so acutely, without wanting to, reminds us of it by just being him/ herself, because they reflect what is WITHIN US right back at us. This leads to us avoiding contact with the ONE and ONLY person who has seen and loved us for our true self because this requires us to be just that: OUR TRUE SELF. It requires us to look at ALL that we are: the good, the bad and the ugly, and to LOVE AND ACKNOWLEDGE it all.

As the infinite love that we are, our natural state of being is that of unconditional love, acceptance, compassion, forgiveness, gratefulness and patience, but as humans living by our egos, we are made of identities and thoughts of the past. These thoughts tell us: think before you act, be afraid, protect yourself, lie, manipulate, plan for your future security – and the list goes on, and every excuse and every plan is based on fear. All those fearful thoughts and feelings are not ours. They are not real. Nevertheless when we identify with this part of our Self and meet a person who invites us to snap out of it and be authentic, we set up barriers to protect ourselves from feelings, we feel threat where there is opportunity; we feel danger where there is liberation and we see expectations where there is unconditional love & freedom.

So, rather than embracing what arises, we supress even more, and bury our feelings for our Twin deep inside. In reality, all we are really doing is denying ourselves the very love that we crave – and for an instant thought we had found in someone. The truth is, we did find that love and it is REAL and true, but it is not until we can stay centred in it, treating EVERYTHING that arises with unconditional love and acceptance, no matter what, with or without our Twin, that we can ever hope to truly give and receive that love. If we were able to do that to start with, we wouldn’t have any issue with giving our Twin our love in any shape or form appropriate, including giving them the time or distance they need to face their own demons, because we would know that the only reason they act out and the only reason they avoid us is that they are still working on loving themselves. They are yet to acknowledge their pain as being valid, and part of the divine will, there to help them transform and welcome more LOVE into their hearts and lives.

The simple rule here is: if we do not love ourselves unconditionally and see our self as worthy of receiving this love and know how to receive this love, then we cannot accept that kind of love from anyone else, and certainly not from our Twin; our brightest mirror. There is nothing the chaser can say or do to make the runner see this; it’s an internal process. The only guarantee is that true love never leaves us, and continues to grow even in separation. The Twins are each other’s perfect energetic mirrors and if one is running, then on some level the other one is also. Even if they don’t seem to be running and may even chase; they are running from something within them that is causing them to act in an unbalanced way. When we chase our twin in order to fix them, then there is something that needs fixing inside us. When we accuse them of denying their feelings for us; what feelings are we denying ourselves? When we claim that they are not being true to themselves; in which ways are we not being true to ourselves? This is not just the ultimate twin flame cliché but the truth: it is NEVER about them and always about YOU.

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How and why I became the runner

Like they say, the course of true love never did run smooth, and my own experience, spanning 13 years, is no exception. I have been both a “runner” and a “chaser”, so can identify with and understand both. When I first ran within months of meeting him, my Twin and I were both trying to leave long-term relationships. He had left his marital home just before meeting me pushed by his spiritual awakening and followed by emotional blackmail and suicide threats from his wife, whereas I was trying to leave my abusive boyfriend for good. The old fears and faces of our co-dependent lives soon caught up with us as his estranged wife announced her visit, causing him to distance himself from me. Suddenly this man, who hung on every word I said, who looked at me like a blind man staring at the sun and who until then could not get enough of me gave me speech about his duties and obligations towards her. When I, in pain and confused, asked where I stood in all this, he told me that we were only ever meant to be friends, and how he valued my friendship and never wanted to lose it; and that the rest was “just a bonus”. He alternated between treating me like the lover I always was to him; and friend-zoning me and accusing me of expecting something off him when it happened.

At the same time my ex was harassing me; often refusing to leave my flat and being physically and mentally abusive in the process. With Twin, we remained in our bubble for as long we could: spending nights talking about all the dreams we shared. One night he turned to me and said “Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we could both wave a magic wand and resolve each other’s problems?”, and boy if it had only been so simple! But how to do this when we were so afraid; of being hurt by our ex-lovers or of them hurting themselves; of all the things within our conditioned existence which screamed at us to come back to our senses, to return to “normality” – how to find the strength under so much pressure?

As his estranged wife arrived in town, I found being his “dear friend” increasingly difficult. His words about this most passionate, expansive, beautiful love being just a “bonus” span in my head and ate away at me. I felt pushed aside and deeply rejected, as the newly discovered “me” now lay on the ground in tatters, feeling utterly confused and unloved. Rising from my heart was the most intense pain, an awareness of him now sharing the very bed, where our souls had only a few nights ago entwined and melded in an explosion of galaxies in the presence of God almighty, with his wife.

I knew that I loved him and wanted him to be happy, and I certainly did not want to be a home wrecker or ruin any chance of him returning to the woman he himself told me he had been hoping to spend the rest of his life with when they met. I knew he wasn’t happy with her but I admitted to myself that perhaps he would always keep running back to her. It dawned on me that he wasn’t as free or available as he had led me to believe. Maybe I was just a past-time while they were going through a rough patch? I felt like SUCH A FOOL to have believed him; but more than anything I was mad at myself for having believed that this kind of love existed for me.

During her visit we continued to work together. It was a bittersweet time where at nights we would take the long way home and sit in the bus with our legs resting against each other. When his wife extended her stay and as our project together was coming to an end, instead of joining me on a trip we had planned to go and visit my family, he decided to travel somewhere else. This just reinforced my idea that he was not serious and that in fact I had just been the “flavour of the month”, always at risk of being tossed aside, never knowing when he would run back to his poor, long-suffering wife. While I was still away he called me and told me he missed me but this did nothing to dispel my fears: I was convinced that since we no longer worked together, I would only ever get crumbs of his time now. I dreaded the moment I would return home and spend 24/7 anticipating his call, only to find him busy with everything and everyone else.

The few weeks that we did not see each other due to being out of town were enough to send me deep into the abyss where all my insecurities surfaced and I found myself with no solid ground to stand on. The divine light and love I had seen in him had flipped my reality upside down, and undeniably for me, this love was the ONLY thing that was REAL in this world of illusion. I couldn’t see how I could live without him, since without him there was no life, no love, no me. Who am I if this man who perfectly reflects me is rejects me? Am I so unlovable that even the very reflection of me abandons me? If only I had known that it wasn’t him denying me that love; it was me denying it from myself.

Underneath all the pain that arose were also more noble feelings. I felt like he was not doing right by his soul – and very strongly felt like I could not just watch him choose more suffering without trying to change him. I wanted him to find peace in his heart. If it meant he needed to be with her or someone else, so be it. I did not want to be there trying to affect the outcome – and I knew if I stayed I would have always hoped he would “see the light”. I knew that he had to figure it out himself. So many things went through my mind: rejection and my own feelings of unworthiness being the main things. What hurt perhaps the most was that I was being tormented by the intense emotional pressure, physical violence and threats from my ex-boyfriend and I simply wanted my Twin’s support. But I didn’t get that. This man, who had insisted he would do anything for our friendship simply wasn’t there. If he really did care about me like he said, if he was really such a “close friend”, then where was he? What was stopping him from being there?

If only I had known that he could not be there for me because he was also in pain; because he was under that same pressure; also fearing rejection as well as my expectations (even when I insisted I didn’t have any), and more than anything, he could not be there for me because he was not there for himself. He distracted himself with travel, projected feelings onto me – and ran, emotionally. It made me want to run to the opposite direction, but faster, and farther. What I didn’t realise was that we weren’t really running from each other, but from the pain and from the issues that arose.

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Blocking my Twin

Returning from my holiday, I wish I could say that I gracefully “let go” of my Twin, but by then I was so deep in my own self-denial, thinking he didn’t care about me, that in a horrendous act of indifference I erased him from my life. I hadn’t stopped caring about him and of course I wish I had been more mature about it but I didn’t know what I was doing. More than anything I bolted out of the connection to be freed of the pain; of all the demons I knew I would have to face to be able to love him freely, regardless of whether he loved me back or not. It had nothing to do with him or what he was doing, I see that now. But at the time it was fight or flight; and I flew out of there like a bat out of hell with a 180 degree speed turn. I put him in a corner of my heart, closed the door and threw the keys away. I had nothing to remind me of him; no e-mails, no objects. The one picture I had I shred. I deleted his number from my mobile phone and his e-mail address from my contact list. I even went as far as blocking incoming e-mails from him.

When he soon caught onto the fact that I was avoiding him, he desperately tried to call me, leaving me, in his own words “5,000 messages”. When I’d hear his voice on my voicemail, I erased the messages without listening. I stopped using my mobile phone, the very same phone I had bought just so that he could call me, and changed numbers. When he managed to get through to me on the landline, I did not know what to say. I’d make an excuse and promise to call him back, knowing very well that I wouldn’t. When mutual friends and work colleagues said he was asking about me and wanted to speak to me, I refused to listen. I forbade them from even mentioning his name because it brought up too many emotions I couldn’t deal with. I ended up leaving my job since this was where we had met, because everything reminded me of him and I feared running into him.

To be honest, it didn’t even cross my mind that he could be hurting too. The distance he had put between us, his words about us being just friends, the way I was cast aside when his wife arrived in town were was proof to me that he didn’t care. In fact, I thought I was doing both of us a favour. I couldn’t understand what he wanted from me if I was just a friend, except to play with my feelings and then accuse me of having expectations and run back to his wife. I knew he was trying to reach me but I had no idea just how much since I was blocking any incoming communications from him. I even left my landline unplugged for days at a time just so I didn’t have to keep filtering my calls and go through the stress of hearing his voice. I wanted to see him but felt like for my sanity I couldn’t. When he did get hold of me I told him that I was back with my boyfriend (which I wasn’t – yet).

What does the runner feel

Feeling the intensity of that connection pull away left me feeling like my soul had left my body and the void that appeared within me started to engulf me. I thought that if I just ignored it, it would go away but instead, it threw me into the darkest, most agonising figurative hell, where lost souls whither in agony and pain, where the eternal flames of regret and abandonment lick their burning flesh, and where only God hears them. All the feelings that taunted me, of being unloved, rejected, ashamed, insane and worthless filled my mind. I cried, pleaded and sat in darkness rocking like a nutcase as I felt my heart break in every possible way. Until I met him I had not even believed in God, but I prayed to God like there was no tomorrow; and really for me, there wasn’t. There was only an eternal agony; a never-ending hell where I would burn for all eternity because when I opened myself up to love, all I did was to cause myself and others more pain. I prayed that God would grant me the relief of being able to forget about my Twin Soul, to erase him from my mind completely.

Every attempt he made to contact me only served as a reminder to me that it had all been just a terrible MISTAKE. If this all-consuming, powerful love had not been able to free me from my conditioned, codependent existence, then no other love would ever do this. We had only ever happened by some cosmic error, which God had not hesitated to rectify as soon as he realised His mistake. The height from which I had fallen face first onto the proverbial ground caused me to vow to myself that I would never again try to reach so high, because if love with which nothing seemed impossible could not set me free, then NOTHING in God’s creation could. I so wanted to reach back at him but I felt that this would be just another mistake, on top of the original cruel mistake.

Minutes turned into hours, days, weeks and then months. Little by little, I started living again. Meeting my twin had changed me and I realised I could not live the life I had before. I was living from a more authentic place, doing all those things I had always wanted to but had never dared to, fuelled by the dreams me and twin had shared. Eventually I took my boyfriend back, finding comfort in the thought that at least he needed me, had been miserable for weeks, and kept begging me to take him back. He was not perfect but we had a lot of history, and the irony was that he had been a great support to me during my darkest days feeling the loss of my Twin. I reasoned with myself that this is what love is: attachment, taking care of each other, needing each other, compromise. I was happy to see the whole dynamics of my relationship with my boyfriend change. We embarked on the spiritual path together travelling around the world and he was behaving in a much nicer way towards me because I no longer allowed myself to be bullied. I resigned to the fact that this was my place in life; and that I had been a fool to believe that I could meet someone and instantly love them and that it could be something that lasts forever. Such love was only ever a dream.

It was only a couple of years later that I found out that my Twin had left the country about 15 months after I cut contact with him. Little did I know, on that very same month that he left the country I also decided to do the same, after nearly a decade there. Without knowing anything about each other’s whereabouts or movements, we both set off to travel the world at the same time. One morning as I logged onto my emails at a beach café in Thailand, out of the blue waiting for me was an email from him. We were both travelling through the same region. I opened his email and without reading it fully, scrolled all the way down. I went on forever; speaking about our love, of our souls together, of his feelings for me… But it was like a message from another dimension that I couldn’t quite decipher or get my head around. I was hit by a momentary panic, of feeling my intense feelings for him stir somewhere deep inside, and then remembering that I was back with my boyfriend and we had come a long way: things were going really well and I had just started to feel like myself again. We were planning a new life in a new country. So in a panic, I deleted his email, without ever reading it or replying to it. Little did I know that as we both started our new lives with our old partners in the new country, we had both moved to within less than an hour’s drive from each other.

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Conclusion

I ran for nearly 3 years until a series of events that deserves to be narrated in a separate post. During this time I rarely thought of my Twin because I wouldn’t allow my mind to wander to him, but I felt him with me most of the time. As I returned to him, I learned that he had loved me all along, regardless of his personal circumstances or demons. He had also gone through his own slice of hell when I disappeared. It was however only years later that I realised that we had BOTH contributed to the imbalance of our energies with our refusal to love and acknowledge whatever arose from the pain our connection brought up in each other.

One thing that all runners share is that they are IN PAIN which they do not acknowledge, and although they do not mean to hurt us, they do not know how to change their behaviour. The runner runs; not because they cannot face you but because they refuse to look at themselves. The runner thinks that by avoiding you he won’t have to face his issues, but no matter how long or far they run, they don’t have a choice. You can’t fight God: what we resist persists. Furthermore, the True love of the Twin Souls is protected and ordained by a higher will, continuing to consume the two twins in separation until eventually they are driven back together. What was once whole will never stop wanting to be whole, and the two souls will never stop trying to reunite no matter how the runner pushes against it.

The runner did not suddenly stop loving you and become another person. More likely, their love for you remains as strong as ever; it’s just that they are still working on loving themselves fully. The Twin Souls must both find the LOVE WITHIN before they can give it to each other. You have to love yourself first, or a relationship between you in the human sense will never work, because you will always keep triggering each other into a vicious circle of pushing and pulling. So, whether they seem to have returned to a life of 3d distractions and other relationships, or cut of all contact with you, or if they are pushing & pulling, the love within them will nevertheless have been ignited. The separation is necessary and often unavoidable, since the physical union takes place through self -love and surrender to God.

In time, every runner must face a choice: of either living in pain, or returning and facing the deep love, working though the fears of possible rejection and feelings of unworthiness. In the meantime, we must accept that the runner is on a personal journey; and we cannot blame them or make them responsible for what we feel inside. The reasons they have abandoned us most likely have nothing to do with us. Let’s not deny our Twins the space they need to heal or face their demons, and let’s not judge or point out their flaws & weaknesses or to try to control the outcomes.

Instead, let’s see the Twin Flame love as an invitation to get to know & love our Self and God, to find our own wholeness and to recognize ourselves as a part of the equation. The focus therefore must be internal. Rather than chasing the Runner, let’s work towards our own spiritual growth, keeping our heart space open for our twin but living full lives, with or without them. When we truly love, we LOVE and ACCEPT our twin just the way they are, without seeking to change them, but rather loving EVERYTHING about them.

God has set up the balance between the Twin Flames and both must turn to Him in order to shed all that which is no longer required. This is done through a complete surrender to the all-consuming love of the Twin Flames,  only bringing unconditional love to the table, no matter what. If the two Twin Flames release the past and anything living inside of them that is not authentic, then certainly they will reach the perfect balance between them, starting with the internal and reflecting outwards. It is only by both of them setting themselves in correct relation to God that their two souls can exist peacefully within their two bodies.

Where there is REAL love, there is no room for self; there is ONLY room for love.

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240 Responses to The folly of running from love – A Runner Twin Flame perspective

  1. Excellent article on the twin flame connection! Whenever I counsel Twin Flames, I see these running phases..it can be a very difficult time.

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    • doucejonna says:

      Dear Solutions For Life, thank you for your comment and for taking the time to read my article/ experience regarding the Twin Flame runner. Many blessings to you xx

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      • Jinx13 says:

        You won’t believe how much this article has helped me. I’ve been in 8 weeks of hell. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. I just needed to know that his love for me hadn’t died. I will now carry on with my life, knowing we will come back together even if in another lifetime and it’s ok.

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    • Katyayani Kundalini says:

      Hi, I was in alot of pain today, from head to toes. Yesterday I burnt a piece of paper that represented the man that I wanted in my life. He initially found me and the connection was made. Subsequently everything that your twin did, so did mine. To a point after us being in a really beautiful intimate space with each other and recognising the Goddess in me and the God in him, he contacted me to say that he was unwell. I did a distant session for him, aligning to me again and then asked him what happened. He had slept with someone a days after we had that amazing connection. He said all the same things that we were friends, that he is only wanting my Goddess self and did not say that he will be in a relationship with me. He returned to me after I left him and then this. He also messed up his energy by being with someone that did not match his energy. So, its been a week since we spoke or chatted and I am not sure if I should contact him or let it go. I let it go before and he came back and although I was scared of being hurt by him again, I deal with my fears, so I went back. The other thing is that he used to be in my city and since he went to get his Visa to be here permanently which took months, he is now based in another city. So, we have seen each other once a month. Every time I have asked to go to him, he made an excuse. He does have a lot to deal with emotionally and I deal with my stuff constantly. I feel like I always get rejected. Some advice.

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  2. June Reyneke says:

    Thank you so much for this article. A friend sent me this link. I just wish my “running” Twin Flame could read this…..

    Liked by 1 person

    • doucejonna says:

      Hi June, thank you for reading and for your comment. Why not simply share the article with your twin flame without any expectations? Wishing you many blessings on your path

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  3. Tanja says:

    Thank you for your story! It;s so comforting to read al of these feelings I recognise so much… I know I must let him go through his own proces and give him all the time he needs…. but it hurts. And mean time I know that I must work on my own feelings of being worth the love.

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    • doucejonna says:

      Dear Tanja, thank you for reading & for the comment. I am happy you are able to resonate with that I wrote.. I know it’s the most painful experience the lose the love that awakens you to a whole new reality, however by tuning in we can learn to find solace in that same warmth & rightness that we experience with our twin flame. I am glad that you have realised the need for your twin flamer to have some time out to work on himself; this is also true love; being able to let go when such is needed. I wish you many blessings on your path xx

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  4. Pingback: When the Twin Flame Kundalini rises & souls merge – True story | The Mirror of My Soul – Stories of you, me and eternity

  5. pinkdoor says:

    Very nice- I want to link this to my page, if you don’t mind 🙂

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  6. furrera says:

    Reblogged this on furrera's Blog.

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  7. Summerlynne says:

    Wow! This really helps make sense of what has been so puzzling
    I feel I have met my twin flame and he is a runner, but the mirror effect is probably true.
    My friends don’t understand my connection and why I’m so patient with him, I don’t even understand it! But I find when I just let it be.. and not push we stay connected and somehow that gives me peace.

    Liked by 1 person

    • doucejonna says:

      Thank you Summerlynne for taking the time to comment & read my blog. My article on the twin flame runner is my most popular post and I think so many people are resonating with it through their own experiences of either being runners or having a twin flame runner in their life.. The mirror effect is very true and precise with the twin flames and that’s why it is so important to work on the self – it is only like that that we can ever hope to stop the endless cycle of chasing & running and triggering each other. The twin flame connection defies all odds and concepts and like you say, we learn to find peace in it. Lots of love and light to you xx

      Like

    • Carnie says:

      I don’t know why I am looking this up but, it is similar to a situation I have. But, hes so much younger! I have been so patient as well. Patient like I have never been before in my life! Weird to me.

      Like

      • doucejonna says:

        Dear Carrie, apologies for the delay in replying to you – and thank you so much for taking the time to comment. Yes, patience is definitely an important virtue on this path as it is required in abundance for various reasons, such as when huge age gaps or existing relationships are involved. Make the most of this time by working on yourself and building an authentic life for yourself. Love & blessings to you, Jonna xx

        Like

  8. Virginie says:

    Hi,

    Your words are incredibly comforting… I hardly can believe I’ve found them!

    Liked by 1 person

    • doucejonna says:

      Dear Virginie, thank you for taking the time to read my blog and to comment. The very reason I decided to open up about my life and experiences is so that others may find comfort in knowing that they are not alone, that many of us are experiencing these intense and transformative soul connections. I am so happy that you are finding comfort in my words. Love to you on your path ❤️❤️

      Like

  9. darrian green says:

    Hi i am a male cheaser of a female runner she left me sunday she ran after a year and half of being to gether she stabotage by cheating but in the days since she left i have been meditating before i go to sleep every nighti have been see visions of her coming back and her having my baby but also i have been losing sleep and have had alot of stress and lack of wanting to eat. i am about to move crossed country how long do you think that i will take for her to come back and what should i do

    Like

    • doucejonna says:

      Dear darrian green, thank you for taking the time to comment. You are not the first male “chaser” to have found my blog 🙂 I am so sorry to hear about your twin leaving you after such a long time together. I know how painful the separation is and how eager we are just to make the pain stop “if only they returned to us”. But the thing to remember here is that no one can tell you when she will be back. In this connection we are not in control; only the force which got us together with our twin in the first place knows…
      I also used to (and still do) get a lot of visions involving my twin; visions of our children, visions of our reunion but for the first visions to start coming true it has taken 10 years. So please do not do not attach any kind of timeline to them, see them more as reassurance from your Spirit that God knows what your heart really wants. As spiritual beings we are multidimensional, so that timeline where you are already together exists somewhere too; and you are feeling it because it aligns with what is True within you.
      Ultimately if your twin is running, it is because she is being pulled within to work on her own stuff. The separation is there to invite you to do the same. Use the separation to grow spiritually, to turn to God, to turn within the know the Real you, who is lovable and magnificent whether your twin realises it or not.
      I wish you all the best on your path, I do hope you will come back and comment again to let us know how you are. Love & light, Jonna

      Liked by 1 person

  10. Doreen says:

    Thank you so much. Your article explained why my TF ran so many years ago. We were very young and now I understand why he feared our relationship. We reunited a year ago, both of us now understanding our connection. It was 20 years!

    Like

    • Patricia says:

      Thank you so much for your blogs. This article found me or I found it at the perfect time of my life. I have been the runner & the chaser. I finally surrender all to God. My ego refused to let go of past hurts. Your posts share some lights in my current situation.

      Liked by 1 person

      • doucejonna says:

        Dear Patricia, I know it’s been long however thank You so much for taking the time to comment. I am glad my experience has helped you find some answers to your situation. Love & blessings to you, Jonna

        Like

    • doucejonna says:

      Dear Doreen, thank you for taking the time to comment on my blog. Congratulations on your reunion with your twin. It just goes to show that when a certain level of spiritual and emotional growth has been achieved and it’s time to reunite, it will happen – no doubt about that. 🙂 Thank you for being an encouragement to us all. All my blessings to you and your twin. Love, Jonna

      Like

    • doucejonna says:

      Dear Doreen, thank you for taking the time to comment on my blog. Congratulations on your reunion with your twin. It just goes to show that when a certain level of spiritual and emotional growth has been achieved and it’s time to reunite, it will happen – no doubt about that. 🙂 Thank you for being an encouragement to us all. All my blessings to you and your twin. Love, Jonna

      Like

  11. F says:

    Thank you so very much for your article! It it really helpful to make sense of my feelings and what it might possible mean. My situation is different than what you described. Therefore I have severe doubts about whether or not I met my Twin Flame.

    My situation is that I am in a marriage for 10+ years now. Five years ago we went to a horrible time and I went through my own personal hell. But somehow the marriage survived and since then everyday is better than the next day. Until last year I was content with living the rest of my life with my wife (and son) although deep down I always keep feeling something was/is missing. I always believed in ‘the one’ and for a few years I convinced myself that my wife was her. But after our horrible time, I knew she was not the one but I actually stopped believe in the one.

    But then recently something happened. I know this colleague of mine (lets call her R) for about 5 to 6 years. She is quite younger than me and although she looks nice and all, she is not really my type. The last year we have been working a bit closer than before due to a change of my work package and slowly I felt some connection with her. Just before christmas we were together in a room and suddenly I got the urge to hug R very much. I was so shocked that I try to leave as soon as possible because really hugging would have been so inappropriate (and would be sexual harassment). After that I wondered why I was feeling (romantic feelings?) that and I also paid a bit more closer attention to her. I noticed that she often looked very sad which, I found out later, is because she married young and last year she ended her marriage which left her with a lot of pain. But despite paying closer attention to her, I soon dismissed any feelings I might have for her and went on with the day to day business.

    Until early March. Some person I know come into my office and after a brief chat, it turned out she was looking for R. I stood up and walked with this person to R’s room. It is an open office and I needed to turn a corner. But the moment I did, I was looking at R’s desk but instead of seeing R, I saw the most beautiful, fantastic and amazing woman in the world sitting there. Also she was imbedded in light and shone total unconditional love towards me. It was really the most incredible thing I have every seen (and likely will ever see anymore). I can only describe it in the terms of an Angel. I did not believe really in God, but I can only image that when people see Angels they see such an unbelievable beautiful and loving creature as I saw. Although I did not ‘recognize’ the Angel, I *did* recognize that she was the one, the woman of my dreams, my true love, and that we belong together. After one second or so, the Angel stood up and changed into R! This actually left me quite overwhelmed and I very soon left the room after dropping of this other woman with R.

    Since then I have gone through a roller-coaster of emotion. The first few weeks I was ecstatic and fully convinced that R was my twin flame (I did some researching the web to try to explain my feelings). She is so beautiful and for some reason that the one was R was even more special. Very hard to explain. I also felt incredible warm and loved in my chest; a very nice and beautiful feeling. I did not speak to R about all of this at that time. I hardly saw her since then. But after a few weeks the doubts crept in. What did it mean? Did I really see my twin flame or do I have brain tumor or so? Also some other shit I have accumulated over the year kept creeping off and from totally ecstatic I went to this state of constant mood chances. Then I was convinced she is my twin flame, the next I was totally in misery and felt incredibly bad. That has been going on for nearly 2 months now and it drives me mad. Also, despite originally totally not wanting to leave my wife bit by bit I kept feeling more and more unease with the mask I put up at home. I do love my wife but on the Earthly way, not how I felt loved by the Angel and how I sometimes feel that I love R. It sometimes now becomes unbearable at home.

    R and I had some email conversation over the last month, starting out with work related stuff, but at a certain moment I asked if she was okay. And then she replied that she had a very terrible year and she would rather speak in person with me about it. So, in the end last week Friday we talked. And we talked and talked. For over 3 hours. And we could have talked for many more hours if not for our work duties. During the conversation she was very sad and also clearly showed that she had many issues to resolve just like me. One of them is feeling inferior. When she was telling that and crying, I had to tell her about what I saw in her (and still do, although not as an Angel): how incredible beautiful she is! How could I not? She was so beautiful sitting there and she did not know it….. IShe was of course a bit shocked but also not as much as one would expect if some still a bit stranger says such a thing to you. She actually thought it was such a nice thing to say. In first instance I did not say that when I saw her as an Angel that I also was convinced that she is the one but the conversation went into the direction that we were talking about true love and that I was again that such a thing existed. But when I wanted to say that I was still searching for the one, I could not lie to her and I told her the whole story. She was even more shocked but was also not completely freaked out (what I expected to happen). She was actually very absent in showing any insight in how she felt towards me. Clearly she did not undergo a similar recognition phase and she found everything a bit weird, but she also did not say that I was totally out of my mind and that she had no feelings for me or any interest in my what so ever. She actually said that she wanted to talk again in two weeks so that she could think about a reply to my confession. A bit odd, but that was fine with me.

    After leaving I went home to have the one of the most horrible weekends in my life (and that says a bit after some horrible weekends I have had). Something was triggered inside me which was horrible. I felt horrible at home being this fake person who pretended to love his wife. And I do love her but not in the way I want to. The first day I did not sleep at all which made things even worse. Slowly by bit I recovered and yesterday was okay again, although still with many horrible periods. However, I also noticed that over the span of the weekend I was losing my believe in the twin flame stuff and that R was indeed my twin flame. Also the warm feeling in my chest has disappeared and that makes me very sad as well. Basically I lost faint in it all. And this makes me even more sad. Could I have dreamed it all? Is it all nonsense? If she is my Twin why does she not recognise me? I searched the web and that seems to happen also often, but makes me so worried that it was all fake.

    I told my wife yesterday about the Angel but left out the part about the one. She noticed that something horrible was wrong with me so I could not tell her nothing. But I could not tell her the whole story. It would break her hearth but mostly I think because I thought I was unable to deal with the fall-out of my revelations to her. We just bought a house and then suddenly we should break up? It just broke me nearly this weekend and I just have blocked everything. Now I am very worried about that it was indeed all fake and this most beautiful woman in the world is not my twin. It is nearly unbearable to think about that option, but realistically speaking (at least according to my mind), it is all a bunch of mambo jumbo and I should just forget it. But even if that is the case, something has awoken in myself and one day I will tell my wife the whole story and my life will be over as I know it. And I am so afraid for what is coming and I have no idea how to restore the faith.

    Love to you all, F

    Like

    • S says:

      This resonated deeply with me. Our circumstances are different yet I relate to your feelings. I’ve also gone through the same confusion as you recently. I never even knew what a twin flame was until a powerful experience caused me to do some research. All the best to you!

      Like

      • doucejonna says:

        Thank you S for taking the time to comment on my blog, it’s very much appreciated. Bravely forge forwards on your path; the confusion lifts in time with personal growth and through a deeper connection with our Self and our Creator. All the best to you!!

        Like

    • Carnie says:

      I had a similar experience with this person I met. The first time I seen him he was encircled with a yellow light. I thought it was the sun. When I looked away and then back to him again the light was gone. I then realized there was no sun shining in the window it was on the other side of the building. So what was the light?

      Like

      • doucejonna says:

        Dear Carnie, thank you for your comment. I also saw my Twin flame encircled by light the first time I ever laid eyes on him. He shone like the sun, with a divine spotlight on him. I believe this was me seeing him as he truly is; a being of light and pure love. I have never seen anyone with such a glow about them – it remains one of my most special experiences to this day. Love & blessings dear soul, from Jonna x

        Like

    • doucejonna says:

      Dear F, first of all, please accept my most sincere apologies for the time it has taken me to come back to you. When I first read your comment I wanted to set aside time to answer it correctly as it touched me so deeply. Unfortunately illness, the kids and my own separation from my husband have all taken their toll on me and I have struggled to keep up with all the emails and comments. Nevertheless, hearing you share your story really spoke to my heart as I can see how deeply your experiences with this lady affected you and what a deep turmoil it threw you into.. F, if you do read this, perhaps you could provide me an update on what is going on for you?
      Although you say that your story is different to mine, I actually see many similarities between what you share and what both I and my Twin have experienced. Certainly, like you have said yourself, your wife is not “the One”, and this work colleague – whether twin or not – has ignited something within you which is drawing your attention to all the ways in which you have allowed yourself to settle and to cease believing in the love that you always deep within knew existed.
      The irresistible urge to hug her that you describe, and her being embedded in light and shining unconditional love towards you, the warmth you feel in your chest for her – I have experienced these too (and definitely for some of it, so has my Twin). When I first saw him, I described it as him standing in a divine spotlight because he shone bright like a mirror, or the sun, and the way he looked at me, was as if he had seen an angel – but truly, it was I who believed I was seeing one…What you in fact saw was her true beauty, her eternal being – and more likely, she also intuitively sees this in you too. Do not take the lack of a verbal acknowledgement from her as a sign that she is not experiencing the same things as you.. She may be classifying her experiences differently, however more likely she too is feeling an openness, care and pull towards you that she cannot quite understand or pin down. Just like in your case, it is very common for twin flames to meet and share their deepest thoughts, fears and dreams with each other almost immediate upon recognition, without really understanding why they are doing this. The questions and analysis often comes much later.. often once the inevitable separation hits… However from what you describe, this very much sounds like an authentic twin flame encounter, however should this be the case (and only you will know, with time), it is important that you seek your own balance first and foremost because as Twin flames, you will experience Also, the warmth that you describe in your chest towards her, my Twin always talked about this too – and I feel it too for him in moments of connection when my heart is open to receive the love which flows between us.
      I would like to also reassure you that the mood swings and unrelated issues coming up from the past, as well as the doubts and anger are perfectly normal feelings for someone who is going through the twin flame ignition. Essentially, the conflict is in your own being; between your heart (soul) which KNOWS what it has experienced and recognises the truth, and your mind (ego) which seeks to protect you based on past fears, projections and experiences. The reason you feel like you are “losing faith” in it all suddenly is that you are being drawn into seeing your 3D situation (marriage, everyday life) with new eyes and its not a pretty sight to see. It’s easier for your mind to throw in doubt and to lull you back into “reality” than it is for it to start finding solutions for your soul-deep dilemmas.
      The truth is that the Twin flame connection is not a traditional relationship template as you have known until now; it is a new template of unconditional love which requires a deep connection with the REAL YOU, with God and finally with your twin flame. It is not a socially conditioned type of love like the one you have with your wife and such which exists in most marriages – and it can never be like that. Therefore the road ahead of you is long F, there is no denying it, however seek to remain true to what you feel is right and authentic for you – regardless of your wife, twin flame or anyone else. Seek to love and honour yourself first and foremost. It is not an easy situation for you as you have a family to deal with, and please be reassured that there is no rush. A word of advice: please for your own good do not reveal everything to your wife as unless she has herself experienced a Twin flame ignition, she will not understand you in any shape or form and this will only present further challenges for you along the path.
      Thinking of you F at this difficult time and praying for your peace of mind and clarity. Love & blessings to you. Jonna x

      Like

  12. Unconditional Love says:

    This hit me to the core… This is currently happening and its good to know others are out there & I’m not alone in my experience.. God Bless

    Like

    • doucejonna says:

      Thank you Unconditional Love for commenting on my blog. I am glad you could resonate with what I wrote. You are definitely not alone. There are many great bloggers who share their story from various stages of their journey. We all have in common an extraordinary love for our twin flame, and the pain & bliss that comes with it. Blessings to you xx

      Like

  13. T.Barnett says:

    It is very humbling when you realize that the runner chaser phase is divine to the point of realizing that we are called to love each other the same. Not one with more passion or less, but everyone is one. Sure intimacy creates a feeling and closeness, but love for a twin awakens truth of Source and how love truly operates. I love my twin, and now I love him simply because he is. No possession, no higher than the clouds but he is now in line with the neighbor, myself, children, etc. As Source and all the Master’s loved. No one is more deserving than another. This what I have learned from deep inner work. I hope to reunite and share this love bc to love someone as is truly unconditional. They run bc we don’t see them as human we make them hero’s with super standards, and they don’t want to disappoint us.
    Namaste

    Like

    • doucejonna says:

      Dear T.Barnett, your comment is one of my favorite comments in this whole blog. I resonate deeply with what you say about seeing the divine purpose behind ALL of the connection, even the running & separation phases. Truly the connection to our Twin teaches us what REAL LOVE is, and how it operates – just like you say.
      It is true that we tend to put our twin flame on a pedestal (we make them heroes with super standards, lol!) and years ago my own twin flame told me just how horrible it had felt to fall down from that pedestal when I ran. I understand that now. Despite this, I always loved him for his imperfectness as much as I did for all the amazing things about him. He was always perfect to me. Thank you for taking the time to comment, dear soul. All the best to you. Love, J

      Like

  14. Tea says:

    This really resonated. My twin is a Gemini so its either double running or chasing. However, twin flame or not, I’ve chosen to be with a true love who will stay for the long haul. Too bad for my twin.

    Like

    • Virginie says:

      I’m a gemini and I don’t want to feel or be closer to others than I am to myself… because he’s the only person who can accept and love me for you I am. 🙂

      Like

      • doucejonna says:

        Hi Virginie, My twin is also a gemini – the schizo of the zodiac lol:) What you write is so true and such beautiful way to understand the connection. I believe that for any twin who has fully healed the only natural partner is the twin, because as you say, why would you want to be closer to someone else other than yourself at a point where all you need is YOU? Blessings to you and thanks for commenting. xx

        Like

    • doucejonna says:

      Hi Tea! Thanks for reading & commenting. My twin is a gemini too and I am Pisces so two dual signs means that it often feels like there’s four of us in this 🙂 I also married someone else however unfortunately for reasons completely unrelated to twin it hasn’t worked out. Yes, it’s a shame when we find ourselves not on the same page with twin. I must say though, having been on this path for 13 years that you never know what the future will hold.. All you can do is to make the best of what is given to you in each moment and take things as they come. Blessings to you on your path xx

      Like

  15. Pingback: Twin Flame | Angel Card Readings

  16. Florence says:

    I would like to thank you so much for sharing your story, you inspire me, motivate me and HELP me just so much because of all the things i ve read about TF i must say your story could be my story, almost word for word. At this time my TF and I are “stuck”, i ve reached that moment when i feel rejected, unloved, like he is cold and distant but thanks to you i understand that in spite of the intense pain and sorrow i must understand we still have work to do , each of us , and no one is to be “blamed”, your words soothe my sadness and help me understand and move forward and above all KNOW that we ll be reunited when we are ready …thank you so much

    Like

    • doucejonna says:

      Thank you Florence for this lovely comment! It was the first thing I saw when I woke up this morning so my day is already made 🙂 thank you so much for taking the time to comment and to share your appreciation of my blog with me 💛. I am glad my writings have helped you understand something very essential about the TF union: that if the reunion doesn’t happen organically then it’s not time yet.. It means both twins are simply not ready. I believe the twin flame connection is a divinely orchestrated event & connection where both twins make progress as one makes progress.. I also believe the reunion cannot happen while we still have the intense pain of the separation within us, since the reunion requires us to be fully conscious and if we are fully conscious we know that our TF is always with us and that we are never apart and from thereon we realise we are already whole.
      I want to let you know how much I loved your comment and the fact that you’ve found solace in my words. Blessings to you on your path. Love, j xx

      Like

  17. Smita says:

    My TF and I are not on talking terms at this time. And it breaks my heart. I even wondered if we were TFs. But everything you wrote in the article resonated with my experience, almost word to word, especially the painful stuff that surfaced in both of us. I began to doubt if we were TFs also because his pain resulted in lots of anger that he unloaded on me. After a while I couldn’t take it. He has made things very hard at work for me, but I have persevered and generally anyone who gives me so much pain turns me off, but in this case I feel my love grow and grow…become unconditional. At the same time, I underwent a swift spiritual journey where I had visions and channeled information. We were/are totally telepathic. His emails would wake me up if I were asleep. If he were reading my emails, I would feel a stirring/vibration in my body. I would look at him and know what he was about to say and it would be confirmed once he’d say it. In one of my visions, I saw him as a particular arch angel and I told him. He completely flipped. I wasn’t prepared for that reaction…

    Sometime earlier this year, after a particularly devastating fight, his higher self started to talk to me and this is an amazingly loving presence. The higher self is also an amazing guide.

    I spoke with a healer who refrained from using the term TF but said that this guy and I were the exact same but totally opposite frequencies. She said I was extreme feminine and he was extreme male energy. We are both married with children and I think he started to run pretty soon after we met because we’d sit and work together and our vibrations and restlessness would drive us nuts. I just have a hard time thinking about how cruel he has been with me. But I do believe he is even more cruel with himself. He is definitely very sensitive to everything I do or say and there are people who constantly say that we fight like an old couple. Well, now we are both tired and he is very angry and bitter…and I keep oscillating between feelings of being wronged and feelings of deep love. Don’t know how to break the impasse…it is frustrating to say the least.

    Like

    • doucejonna says:

      Dear Smita,
      Thank YOU for taking the time to comment on my blog and apologies for the long delay in getting back to you. I am sorry to hear about you and your Twin flame not being in speaking terms. The connection tends to ebb and flow, as you may have realized by now, and is often dotted by separation and silences, which if used correctly actually often bring about the greatest growth and benefit for the Union. So please don’t despair but rather work on strengthening the telepathic and spiritual connection during the times of separation. This is where your real affinity lies; this is where you will be able to reach him no matter what his human persona thinks or feels about the Twin flame experience or about you…
      I can also reassure you that it is common for a lot of negative feelings and fears to arise from the past as the result of the Twin flame encounter and sometimes there is also a lot of anger which is misdirected towards the Twin – even though he is not its source, merely the one who sheds a light on the underlying issues. Just be careful that you are not falling on love with the pain that he is causing you. This should not be the norm between you. Your task is NOT to take everything that he throws at you but to realize that you can transmute the feelings that arise within you as a result without having to feel his pain in the process. It is only like this that you will be able to leave this cycle of pain behind. The telepathy is the way your spiritual selves remain in communication and share constant information about your progress; it is a perfectly normal and very potent part of your connection. If you read my blogs you will know I too have experienced all the effects of telepathy, such as the vibrations in my body reading his emails, looking at him and knowing intuitively what he is going to say, his emails waking me up in the night etc. They are very real. I also experience the reassurance from his Higher Self, as I am sure he does from mine. He even told me that he associated me to a calm and reassuring energy that he seeks at low times. This loving presence is always accessible to both Twins – and I have certainly tapped into it a lot during times of separation to build upon our closeness even when he’s not here…
      Like the healer told you, Twin flames are equal yet exact opposites. My Twin flame prefers the term “polar opposites” and it is the complementary polarity which creates the twin flame dynamic. The task with the connection is to always find balance between the inner feminine and masculine polarities. Each polarity also contains a part of the other within itself, very much like the Ying and Yang symbol. Rest assured that like you say, whatever cruelty he is displaying towards you, he is also directing at himself in equal measure. We can only ever show our twin flame the love that we are willing and able to show ourselves. That’s why the self-work is sooo essential.
      It is perfectly normal for him to be sensitive to what you say or do; after all you trigger each other like no one else if you are Twin flames. Nothing the other says goes unnoticed; it is a pretty exhausting dynamic and that’s why periods of separation appear until we have managed to find inner balance again. After that the twins return to each other for the next lesson in growth and the cycle continues – until both are able to maintain their part of the balance, finally enabling a harmonious and REAL Union. I know it is extremely frustrating to be in this cycle, however you cannot look to him for answers or even for cooperation because as your Twin he won’t be able to rationalize his behavior and reactions. The key for you is to understand yourself and how and why you get triggered by him, and also how YOU enable this cycle to continue. Once you start to see the patterns – and you will – work hard on breaking them by directing yourself towards a higher path, a higher love. No excuses. Your self-work will assist him too by inviting him to step up and take ownership of his own issues too. It’s the only way to go.
      Finally, as you say, it’s needless to remind you that you are both married to other people… This is definitely a factor standing in the way of your Union; after all, Unions are created in truth and transparency, not in lies and deceit. There are no guarantees for Union however it will certainly not happen behind your wife’s and husband’s backs, so first and foremost, you should seek integrity with yourself and what you know in your heart to be true. The right course of action will become clear to you with time, I am sure.
      Happy holidays and love and blessings to you.
      Jonna x

      Like

  18. Smita says:

    Would just like to clarify that my TF and I are married to different people and not each other. But many who have looked at us have commented that we look like a couple. I totally read him, even when he is trying to not be read.

    Like

  19. Lucy says:

    Amazing article–clearly describes my experience; some details are different but the feeling experience so right on!!! Thanks for going into detail. Best article I have read to date on the “runner” “chaser.” What is cool is as I was reading the statements seemed interchangeable like it seemed the runner and chaser were speaking at the same time. I Am truly grateful 🙂

    Like

    • doucejonna says:

      Thank you dear Lucy for taking the time to share your love for my writings; it really means a lot to me. I know my blog posts may seem a little on the long side, especially this one, however I am glad you appreciate and understand the need to sometimes go into the deeper details and to pull out the gems hidden in the depths of the experiences which are to start with so hard to grasp. Love & blessings to you and your twin. All the best, Jonna x

      Like

  20. Amber says:

    Wonderful helpful comments. Like most of you have said it is so strange the way we read each others posts and recognise the similarities within out own twin flame experiences, this makes me feel that I am not mad to have felt and believed that my connection to my TF was something divine, I knew when I first looked into his eyes that it was not a normal connection there was a very powerful force that I still have to deal with. I’m getting through it and stronger as I’ve had no choice but to have to as I’m no longer in contact to my TF. Both in other relationships, each other’s partners very needy of us. I have felt lied to, let down and deceived by the way he told me that his relationship with his wife was non existent to then find out hurtful facts, believe me this relationship was far from easy yet strangely I still understand and forgive him and I’m no mug. The separation has made me finally do something I knew I came here to do and I’ve finally surrender to my creative passion so I’m pursuing a dream that I think deep down I was too shy to bring fully to the world, the TT experience has made me look deep into my core being and the meaning of life and as bleak as it can be without your twin once you sort yourself out and except the situation I believe your very own soul guides you along the way. I love my TF and I always will but I’ve learnt a lot about myself through all the pain and suffering ive experienced and it’s that I am strong, strong of spirit, strong of mind and determined to enjoy my life to the best of my ability. We are all here to learn and grow and yes this like many of you is one of the hardest tests yet but keep an open heart to your TF and love yourself as much as you can. Never stop living or loving, sorry I sound like a preacher haha just want anyone that feels there’s no life after a TF to begin to live a little each day xx A W

    Like

    • doucejonna says:

      Dear Amber,
      thank you for allowing us a glimpse into your beautiful and loving soul. Many things you described above resonate with me at the deepest level. I too have known the deceit of being lied to about the status of his marriage, then having hurtful truths thrown into my face (to this day) and then having him treat me like I might be a threat to his marriage whereas I would never have crossed that line if I had known. Nevertheless, I cannot deny that the experience of meeting him was so intense and the pull so strong that perhaps we still would have acted in the same way, who knows? Either way, I have definitely forgiven him although I do hope one day he will share his side of the story in an open and unafraid manner.
      Just like you, I used the experience and separation to surrender to and pursue my many creative passions. He made me see myself as a much stronger, whole person and I have – and continue to- use this to benefit the world as best as I can. He has taught me so much about myself and others, and I am excited to wake up each morning and learn some more. Truly, it is possible to make peace with our Twin and the connection even in separation. Life is still a precious gift and we are meant to live it and to share the love – whether it’s with our Twin flame, ourselves or others. Love and blessings to you and thank you for reminding us all that there is in deed life after the Twin flame connection.
      Love, Jonna xx

      Like

  21. po says:

    thanks so much for writing this article.I can totally resonate with this situation.the person who I believe is my TF has moved across the globe and is currently with his ex.I felt wronged and betrayed, after all the other -wordly, telepathic connection we had.we have been best friends and this is a. for a long time.I know his relationship with this ex has been dysfunctional nd he wasn’t happy.nd now I had decided to snap contact. we both are battling depression currently nd it hurts to bw away.but ur article really. gave me a lot of hope! thanks so much 🙂

    Like

    • doucejonna says:

      Thank you Po for your comment, I am glad my words have provided some comfort and hope. Hang in there and work on yourself during this time of separation. With Twin flames its never over so it’s important not to remain stagnant during these times of no contact. Work on your inner harmony and on your self love. You can only ever change you and your perception – and leave the work that he needs to do for him. Love and blessings and all the best for the new year. Love, Jonna

      Like

  22. Venusindetriment says:

    Truly bitter sweet. I married my husband, because he was my friend. I never passionately loved him. All relationships before that were unrequited…..I feel forever heartbroken. My husband has been an alcoholic since I met him ….over 15 years I finally got the guts to leave, because another person– an answer to prayer, saw how unjust my life was. He supported my attempts at leaving. He fell deeply in love with me, and the saving grace he brought at times became controlling. And in my heart I just wanted to be free…..and as I was arguing with the man who saved me, A man from a common Facebook thread chats..”how are you doing” I was flabbergasted ! I wanted to tell him, I’m not ok actually …..but I kindly responded……..he told me it was 555 his time…..my time was 7:55. I chatted more with him, and we had a very nice discussion, I was still unsure why he was writing to me. …..who was I to him? He said he knew my face, and that he was stunned that “he could feel me” later I wanted to call him, I asked what time it was…..he didn’t immediately reply, but when he did….he did again at the same hour…5:55 pm…..I asked if he purposely replied at the same time……he said no, but he knew I would pick up on it. I looked up angel numbers 555, and it’s all about big changes coming. He and I at that moment felt a rush……I imagined the possibility of reciprocated pure love…..and he felt my feelings. The next day he was desperate to see me in person. his passion was turning more fleshly desires……everything I felt was pure, just burning in my heart, the wonderful feeling at climax that Sears through a persons heart. I wanted to see him, but the moment I started planning to, he writes to me that his girlfriend is his twin flame, not me! That what we were doing was wrong, an abomination….

    He blocked me on Facebook, and stopped responding…..his last words were God bless you……I felt betrayed, tricked, unloved, deeply victimized. I had been hurt by my whole life by men……now by someone who told me he loved me repeatedly, that he felt me, wanted to change the world together……I finally felt gods purpose revealed to me……and it was suddenly torn away from me. I feel like I’m in altered state. I want to believe he thinks of me too…..I love him, and I think so highly of him! I may have my own self esteem issues, but I am an extremely forgiving person……I want him to know that I would love every imperfection….no need to fear that! I don’t want to chase him…..I was so compelled to…….but I’ll b damned if I am going to keep chasing for an eternity…….I’m just so deeply hoping to talk to him again…..to meet him…..for him to explain what happened…..this is the edited version. ……I could write so much more. I am ready for him…..I need him…………

    Like

  23. Walkintheclouds says:

    The cruelest thing that can happen is to fall in love with someone that will never be yours.. I met her about 2years ago and from the first time I heard her voice I tried to avoid her , this stranger .. Eventually we met after her persistence and despite me thinking on the drive there how will I handle this , I thought strangely oh it’s just you , not some drop dead gorgeous babe …. Just plain old you again , but as our dealings progressed I fell hopelessly and madly in love with her .. I died and a new me was born .. After business was done she’d call on me from time to time and yes time stood still when we were together .. The emotions from my experience were so intense .. Eventually she stopped communicating and now I’m in a world of anxiety and depression. I don’t contact her either nor look at anything associated with her , I’m just trying to yoke the painful fluctuations of my mind … Breath , live , continue … But it’s so hard … Your story rings so true on so many points , it’s so strangely relieving to read this .. To know I’m not alone , Yes I wrote to her in the beginning and she answered tenderly , which might have been her error ! Because there was a love awakened in me that I cannot harness . I dream of her from time to time , hold my pillow tight … I am now unable to be intimate with my partner … Emotions overrule lust even with us guys , But silence proves the sharpest knife and ignorance holds that blade dangerously close to the bone .. The pain of not knowing … I’ve tried everything to block her from my thoughts but the ebb and flow of my mind pulsates each day anew .. Sadness then anxiety , sometimes kind comfort at the thought of our kinder moments together … I wish it would end … I just try tell myself it was a one sided crush and now she had enough of the game , of me , maybe she’s found another muse , maybe she’s found love , but it’s not me , a twin wouldn’t treat her other half that cruelly . So cold .. Patiently I’ll wait for the next incarnation . Walk on , It must get easier , I can’t go through life like this ..

    Liked by 1 person

    • amber0151 says:

      Hi Walkintheclouds,

      Thank you for your email and comments. Your post/email makes me think that I know you? would you be able to give me your name or a nick name please. I”m so sorry your struggling so much, it is very hard, maybe your twin has been in turmoil and you have felt her silence as cruelty but you said you never contacted your twin either so maybe she thought you didn’t want her to.

      Amber

      Like

      • Walkintheclouds says:

        Hi Amber, sorry I didn’t get back to you .. After a long silence I finally retread some articles on unrequited love and thought I was putting her through some awkward sadness guilt thing , convinced of this I stopped holding my pillow at night in case she would somehow pick up on this , I felt really awful to have put her through this , I really felt my heart cry , I only had myself to hold now , and daren’t think if her ,, ode been selfish enough in my thoughts .. This morning was the saddest :’ and out of the blue she popped up with a quick note of what she was up to and how I’ve been doing , and could I come by and fix something up …. And today has been filled with loving thoughts and tender kisses (even though it’s probably part of my deluded mind, I let it run free a smile) ps … It’s really very nice that you , a stranger , should teach out and make comment – you have no idea how much that means in this electronic world — a texty and friendly soul hug to you !! ☮ and ♡

        Like

      • Walkintheclouds says:

        Ps .. I read the other Amber note further back , and whilst it seems closest to our path , on the surface , nor a day , probably an hour goes by when o don’t drift off to that place with her ..

        Like

    • amber0151 says:

      Dear Walkintheclouds and anyone this may also feel applies to.

      Firstly thank you so much Walkintheclouds for responding I am only to pleased if I helped you, you may feel like the sadness is hurting you further but this in time is healing and freeing you as it did with me, facing the dark within eventually leads you into the light, we have to go within and face the pain to be free again, free of the agony and real heartfelt pain and I’m sure you no longer wish to feel this agony. It is just when you feel you really can’t take the hurting anymore and you aknowledge your suffering for what it is (a divine plan) and surrender this suffering to God that the light comes from what feels like nowhere and cleanses your soul, this is my new and current emotional state, after agonising mental and spiritual suffering that had my crying out for help on different occasions it is when I surrended and realised that God and my higher self will guide me in life the peace washed cleansed all my entire being. In realising this it freed me from my agony and I finally feel like I can breathe once again, I still love my TF but I’m not going to chase as he has his emotions to face and this would not be kind to him. You will come to this place of peace soon I feel as you are going within and facing the pain, you read others telling you to surrender but it is not until you do it yourself that you realise what they was all talking about, they can tell you all day long but it is you and you alone along with God of course that heals your soul and hopefully your twin flame will vibrate towards you once again. (p.s I felt in the past that id surrended but it wasn’t until I truly did that I healed)

      I wish for your surrender to come soon for you and that peace will be restored in your heart again

      Amber0151

      Like

  24. venusindetriment says:

    wrong link……supposed to be this…

    Like

  25. Cheryl says:

    i was just wondering if during the ‘running’ stage a twin flame would close the telepathic link between the two twin flames. My twin flame has purposely made me mad at him numerous times trying to get me to close the telepathic link so he could ‘figure things out’. He says our link drowns everyone else out. Is this normal?

    Like

    • G says:

      Cheryl, I’ve often wondered the same thing because both of us, when we went our separate ways, lost (most of) our link with each other.

      I wasn’t ready for the relationship that seemed to come out of left field and, in fact, knew nothing about such things. He was the chaser, I was the runner – and worked very hard to hurt him as deeply and cuttingly as I could to end things, which wasn’t easy. He’s an unconditional love kind of guy, with more patience, forgiveness and determination than anyone I’ve ever known, so I had to pull out every immature behavioural pattern I could think of to succeed.

      Actually, just before we parted ways, we’d both mentioned to each other how we suddenly felt as though we were losing the ability to ‘feel’ each other and in hindsight, I wonder if our subconscious minds knew what was coming before we consciously did,

      It was a very intense and difficult relationship, aside from the 32 year age difference that freaked me out right from the start.

      It’s not easy to view your naked soul in a living mirror and not be affected by the things you see about yourself that you aren’t ready to face, or didn’t even know were within you and needed healing.

      Healing sounds all very good until you’re facing gaping, ugly, wounds that you never knew existed; it’s a painful – very painful – process. Not everyone is up to it when it comes.

      That’s not to say he doesn’t still come to mind or that I don’t still sometimes sense what he’s feeling, but it’s not constant and it certainly isn’t intense; it’s almost indifferent (yet not), if that’s the right word.

      Of course, the other possible explanation I need to accept is that, despite everything, we simply weren’t TF’s after all, and that perhaps we were just a ‘sign of land’ for each other, rather than the land itself (Florence Scovel-Shinn “The Game of Life and How To Play It” – published 1925).

      Like

  26. amber0151 says:

    Dear Walkintheclouds and anyone this may also feel applies to.

    Firstly thank you so much Walkintheclouds for responding I am only to pleased if I helped you, you may feel like the sadness is hurting you further but this in time is healing and freeing you as it did with me, facing the dark within eventually leads you into the light, we have to go within and face the pain to be free again, free of the agony and real heartfelt pain and I’m sure you no longer wish to feel this agony. It is just when you feel you really can’t take the hurting anymore and you aknowledge your suffering for what it is (a divine plan) and surrender this suffering to God that the light comes from what feels like nowhere and cleanses your soul, this is my new and current emotional state, after agonising mental and spiritual suffering that had my crying out for help on different occasions it is when I surrended and realised that God and my higher self will guide me in life the peace washed cleansed all my entire being. In realising this it freed me from my agony and I finally feel like I can breathe once again, I still love my TF but I’m not going to chase as he has his emotions to face and this would not be kind to him. You will come to this place of peace soon I feel as you are going within and facing the pain, you read others telling you to surrender but it is not until you do it yourself that you realise what they was all talking about, they can tell you all day long but it is you and you alone along with God of course that heals your soul and hopefully your twin flame will vibrate towards you once again. (p.s I felt in the past that id surrended but it wasn’t until I truly did that I healed)

    I wish for your surrender to come soon for you and that peace will be restored in your heart again

    Amber0151

    Like

    • Walkintheclouds says:

      About an hour after I sat on my bed feeling the most separated I ever have .. She contacted me , I went over to sort something out and we chatted , I was so surprised to hear she’s become vegan (I’m vegan) Shes also trying to stop alcohol (I don’t really drink ever- but I don’t think I ever mentioned that to her, and why was she telling me? ) and finally I told her I also have anxiety rings around my iris ( she told me a while ago she had rings around her iris) So we both have depression and anxiety — something I never had until I met her .. But I’m happy to have it , it helps me to understand her a little better , and forces me to look deeper in myself too . We always seem to have gifts for each other when we meet which I only now realise as I look around my house , and as on other occasions , when I drive home , I always get angry boots because I can never drive over 40!! Lol because I feel a kind of drunkeness . It’s always followed with a few days of blissful love feelings – so I’m all butterflyee even right now. A few times during my travels I just pull over a drift away in my thoughts – But this time she’s invited me to a vegan workshop she hosting 😀
      Which is being attended by her mom :s .. And Aunty and could best friends , so I’m nervous as anything ,, can’t really understand why she’d want me there .. Im really worried about this thing now , anyhow thanks for listening .. I’m interested to know about telepathy myself cause sometimes I really do think I’m losing it , I don’t really think like I used too and then other times I’m convinced it’s all just made up in my head .. And of course every guy would conveniently think the most beautiful woman in the world just so happens to be his tf.

      Like

  27. Lindsay says:

    I just found this post today and I am completely floored by how profoundly it struck me. As I read your article, it brought tears to my eyes. In my own personal situation, I am the chaser. My twin has been running from me off and on for the last few years. It never occurred to me that being apart hurts him as much as it hurts me. I assumed the worst of him and I regret my hateful thoughts. I don’t have to explain the connection Twins feel, so I know anyone who has a twin understands how agonizing this phase is and how well worth the wait is/will be.

    Like

  28. jewl says:

    Did your twin believe in God before you ?

    Like

    • Lindsay says:

      My twin? He believes in something spiritual, but he is generally unaware about how broad the term “spiritual” is. For instance, it wouldn’t surprise me if he didn’t know what Twinflames are. He shows all the signs of being terrified of a connection between us that he has admitted to.

      Like

  29. lyn says:

    Thank you for sharing. i felt your pain cause it felt exactly like my own. My twinflame isn’t married yet, but he will be to someone else in one month. And for the longest time it bothered me until i read your article today. i still don’t feel it’s ok he’s with someone else. It doesn’t bring me peace but i am aware perhaps i’m not in that place yet to accept and that’s ok. Thanks again.

    Like

  30. Lady Camaro says:

    I cried as I read this. So much of it seemed like an “ah ha” moment. I was sure that I met my Twin Flame. I have doubted it a few times but in my heart I guess I just know. We met online and were trying relationships with different people. Feelings evolved way too quick. I got scared and I was the runner in the beginning. I denied feelings and held back. He was not my type. He broke almost every rule I had in place (from experience) that I was looking for in a man. He openly sought me out. I finally gave in. I was full of fear but he always reassured me. Online long distance relationships are hard enough. Add the Twin Flame aspect to it. We wanted to move things quick but couldn’t. We did meet and it was unlike anything. The feeling of being home and completely content and at peace while in his arms. It was intense and overwhelming but in a good way. I started to fully believe he was my Twin Flame. Things proceeded. Months later we met again, this time longer. After that visit he got scared and had a freak out. We talked it out and thought everything was alright. He has now ran back to an ex that recently came back into his life. I am heart broken and trying to keep it together. I think the intensity of our feelings and the reality of the changes needed for us to be together caused him to panic and run. I thought he would just move on and not look back. I had just finished reading this article and he called. I can hear that he is in pain too. I don’t know what to think. I refuse to chase him but I still love him immensely. He wants to stay in contact and be friends. I am not sure I can. Would hurt too much. Now I am left debating to shut him out or not. Even though mentally we both keep reaching out for each over. I am so confused and just want the pain to stop. It physically hurts at the thought of never being with him again. Guess I will have to leave him go and focus on myself and improve my thought process to battle the negative thinking and depression like I was doing before he left me.

    Like

  31. Amishlovechild says:

    I met my twin flame last year . We were involved for eight months. It was the most intense relationship I’ve ever been in and I’m heartbroken. She is “running” now. Your article clarified so much of what I’m feeling right now and it gave me a profound sense of hope that someday we will be reunited. It truly is about loving oneself and committing to things left undone in ones life. We are on our own paths and when we were together it felt as thorn time had stopped. I don’t know how else to describe it. I’ve never felt more at peace and at home with someone as I have with her. It seems all our struggling came from when we couldn’t be with one another. We were trying a long distance relationship and it just got very difficult and filled with depression and anxiety and longing. She couldn’t trust my deep profound love for her and it brought do many painful issues up in both of our lives. I’ve never loved someone more. It’s so devastating to not be in contact with her. It’s like part of my heart must remain closed. I know she still has feelings but she is afraid contact right now will only make things worse. I never wanted it to end. I can’t deny this love. It’s too powerful a feeling for her. It’s a love I’ve wanted all my life. A person that gets me. That feels and suffers in the same way as me. It’s so frustrating to not be together. But your article gave me a bit more understanding of how to cope with this unbearable loss and remain hopeful.

    Thank you
    Troy

    Like

  32. Alli says:

    This… clears up a lot. I think my ex may be my twin, but he’s not spiritually aware *at all*. He actually expressed concern about how spiritual I am when we first met, but also described what sounds like the beginning of the awakening process after reading something I wrote about him on my blog after we broke up. Neither of us felt ready when we met, and we expressed this to each other but tried to make things work anyway. After we broke up he told me it wasn’t that he didn’t want to be with me, but that he needed to work on himself and wanted to be able to connect with other women if he wanted to… I was only the second person he was with *ever*, so I can understand that, but it still hurt deeply. He’s with someone else now, and I actually felt it when it happened. I still feel him all the time, and I know he can feel me too, even though he doesn’t believe in this kind of thing and denies it.

    I’m past the point of feeling pain, because I allow the love I feel for him to drive it out. I’m glad he’s doing what he needs to do to grow, and I know I need to do the same for myself, even though my path is going to look much different than his.

    Thing is, I’m scared we won’t reunite. I feel very deeply that he is my twin flame, and when I become still in meditation I feel us merge into one being in love with itself, but I still have these doubts and fears that I’m making it all up in my mind. I’m also scared he won’t wake up, even though I can see (and feel) the beginning stages of his awakening. It’s a very strange and scary thing and as lovely as it is to feel him energetically as strongly as I do, part of me wishes the connection were severed for a while. It’s so distracting. I’m so worried with his process that I continue to forget about my own. It’s interesting. His work needs to be done on the spiritual plane, and mine on the physical. He has the physical figured out… I don’t, at all. I have the spiritual figured out (to the extent that that can be done, anyway), he doesn’t. Yin/yang, just as you said.

    Is there a way to know the difference between a twin flame connection and wishful thinking?

    Like

  33. Pingback: The folly of running from love – A Runner #TwinFlame perspective | The Mirror of My Soul – Stories of you, me and eternity | Still Shining Now

  34. Laralee says:

    What happens when you have a child with your twin flame before knowing about this deep soul connection and they made every promise to be around for you and your child no matter what and then they take off running leaving you with all the bills responsibility and a child to raise alone while your now in the middle of a crisis spiritual awakening coupled with intense sadness and heart ache grief and loss from being separated from your twin and find it hard to even want to live anymore through this and your twin is vacationing with his buddies posting pics of having a fun old time hooking up with young girls while your suffering and trying to hold it all together for your child who is suffering and missing his dad also? How is any of this fair or just and how can this be called spiritual love ? I have tried many times to convince myself he must not or cannot be my twin but I have been told many times by other people with spiritual gifts and from my own spirit guides that he is without a doubt my twin and that loving him even when he is behaving like a selfish child dennying me and our two year old beautiful baby boy so he can be free and have no responsibility breaking every promise ever made to me and his son with no warning and no logical reason to me .. How do I get passed this ? I want to heal I want to love uncondionally but I try to do energy clearing and send him love and light and yet I still feel overwhelming feelings of him being extremely hurtful selfish and immature .. I still feel very victimized and very let down . How or what can save me from this hopelessness I don’t know and I am beginning to feel like this twin flame connection is my curse and will continue to cause me these feelings of wanting to not be here on this planet anymore !!! I love my child and wish to be here and healthy and happy for him .. I try so hard and cannot pull myself out of this darkeness .. I am so hopeless and just done !!!

    Like

    • Lucy says:

      My experience is the TF will bring up every thing one needs to transform within one’s Self to become who one IS. All the old images of what a “relationship” should be will come up to be transformed into what Real Dyad/Union already is. It’s all old shit and it hurts sometimes because it’s coming up and moving out and one is literally being Transformed. All the thoughts and ideas about what he/she is doing “wrong” or “hurtful” are based in the old Paradigm and they are coming forward to be Transformed–via TF Unions–in the New Paradigm ~ Now.

      Like

    • Try this says:

      Twin flames are real but that’s another story … Your story however hurts and I also feel the deep dark night . Personally (and I don’t know you so don’t take it personally , but I also wish someone to give me a slap sometimes – in your case you e got bills and anchor that needs you , so take the sting as a act of love and kindness from one stranger to another , please , I’m probably the most gentle person you could meet ) so here goes … Your mediums are lying spirits your spiritual friends are void is wisdom and you are locked in the bonds of a strong delusion .. You do have a twin flame and yes meeting them triggers awakening , pain and all this !! When consulting remember Mystics are few and far between .. But I’m not gong to go on about that either .. You may of you like .. Take three coins . Just plain old coins, three of the same .. Toss them six times and note the number of heads and tails after each throw and let me know (if you like) .. U may dance in full moon singing khimbayah , you may do breathing and meditation exercises .. Or you can just throw them and say whatever in you pjs with no makeup – lol – whatever rocks your boat , the Tao will equalise no matter what anyway !

      Like

  35. angleguide1 says:

    I’d also like to add that March 27/15 I lost my father in a freak horrific snow machine accident when a drunk driver on another snow machine hit my father and uncle from behind and killed them both instantly . During this time my twin came back but only until the funeral had taken place and then he ran away again leaving me with our two year old and all my grieve for my father and again for him leaving .. I guess id like to wrap my head around how this is showing unconditional love ? Does a twin have karmic immunity ? Doesn’t abandoning his own child have some kind of negative karmic affect for him ? How is it ok for my innocent child to suffer missing his father after he just lost his grandpa because his father runs away and would rather be hanging out in the bar or doing what ever he does while me and my son suffer in silence missing him ? Doesn’t make sense to me and truly makes its impossible not to wonder how this can be considered loving someone ..??

    Like

  36. Lucy says:

    Everyone has soul agreements to experience what is needed to grow and expand into the Soul’s Life. We tend to judge from a small human perspective what a soul has chosen to experience for their growth. TF experiences are some of the most profound and growthfull experiences that exist on this planet and elsewhere. Not always easy but definitely transformational and profound.

    Like

  37. Clove says:

    I’ve always considered myself the chaser but I’m not sure. I run just as much as a runner does it seems. In the beginning I would text him a lot but at that time I didn’t even believe in soul mates. I always wished soul mates were real but I didn’t think they we’re. But I did feel agonizing pain when he suddenly stopped replying agony I’ve never felt with anyone. But I didn’t see his avoidance as just rejecting me but rejecting himself. Many times I was crying at night feeling alone in the world but I didn’t feel like all the tears were mine. Suddenly I would feel warmth explode in my chest and my heart would suddenly flutter like he was doing the same thing I was. I’ve had an out of body dream once and I found it strange when I was looking down at him connected by a silver gold cord at our hearts. Now when out places I’m always hoping I don’t run into him. When I see someone that even looks like Him I have a mini heart attack and want to hide behind corners until I’m sure it’s not him. Just today I saw someone who looked a lot like him and I stopped in my tracks and wondered whether I should turn around or try to blend in with the other students, I’m in my last years of college. I think he’s doing the exact same thing. I can feel him but can’t see him. I feel like meeting him would be extremely awkward and it’s awkward just thinking about that scene. I feel like we know each other’s darkest secrets and it scares me what secrets he knows of me. I feel like we’re both playing hide and seek only there’s no seeker just hiding to scared to face each other. A part of me has always loved him since I first met him in middle school. I don’t know why I’m suddenly so terrified of someone I love so much. Are we both running?

    Like

  38. Vaso says:

    Hi there. I just find it impossible not to chase him. I don’t know how to overcome this.

    Like

  39. B-fly says:

    Literally the BEST I’ve read.. Your delivery, everything you said resonated with me profoundly..

    Like

  40. Carolyn says:

    What if your twin soul has past and you find out that they have been unfaithful to you in past lives and beyond and they are still trying to overpower you. My twin soul and I were only together for a year and a half, I was ready to commit he wasn’t because he didn’t want to lose his money. I moved on, met someone and started a family . He came back into my life , I wasn’t ready. I found out recently that he passed and strange things started happening. I became clairsentience , I could feel him, I still do but have learned he has a very strong energy and has strayed but won’t let go of me. My understanding is that I’ve helped create this and God is punishing us and I’m not to have contact with him ( it’s along story regarding our past lives ) . I have to let go of him and he is not making in easy. I know I have to so that both of us grow. He isn’t sorry for any of his past deeds against me but I still forgive him. Does this sound crazy? Sometimes I feel crazy! Am I a runner?

    Like

    • G says:

      Dear soul , God doesn’t punish , God is love , delusions bind , non attach and the bonds dissolve , no one has ever paid off their karma , when they see that they are not these things they thought they were it dissolves … Your path is with your family now .:. Yo were predestined to be in this family .. Love God because God has always loved you because your are the very image of God .. Wishing peace and Gods grace that you may experience it .. Namaste

      Like

  41. Romil Kumar says:

    My God! My God! Seriously….I am completely astonished at the fact that what you have written applies so much to my current situation. I have also been going through a complete transformational phase post my break up with who I consider my soulmate. But not sure whether she also feels as deep as I do. I have tried to reinitiate contact after 3 years but she has refused stating that she is stuck and she does not want to move from there.

    Nevertheless, I have scanned the web a lot to find more about this phenomena and to validate if I am also going through a runner/chaser dynamics and your articles has come the closest to what I have truly felt. It seems you were there with me all through…..sounds weird..isn’t it?

    Thanks a ton for this….I am very grateful.

    Lots of Love,
    Romil

    Like

  42. chalicea jhelics says:

    polygamy is good

    Like

  43. Astrid says:

    Thank you so much for sharing this. It explains it all.

    Like

  44. Vanessa says:

    I am so thankful that I found this article! I’m in the beginning of my separation from my Twin.. When we met, (the 2nd time around) there was no denying that there was “something more” between us. Every encounter we grew closer and eventually, we both were able to finally say aloud “my soul recognizes you”.. Each time, our love grew and it was absolutely amazing! All within a month’s span! But my Twin ran because after past pain, the little bit of love he has left in his tank he’d like to be able to use to love himself and stay in a current relationship out of comfort.. and not take this leap with me. My goodness does that hurt me, to my core! But reading this helps me find solace and direction.. I look forward to my growth, my soul’s work and pray to God that my Twin comes back! He knows that he is my Twin too, which is refreshing! I’m happy to have found this article during this time!

    Like

  45. John Jancar says:

    My twin flame relationship is a strange one. I ran. And I continue to run. At first I ran because I was afraid of myself. Now I run because I know deep inside of me, that we can’t reunite until both of us are free of any and all issues. It’s not really running anymore, it’s more I know we have to be apart now. Even if she doesn’t understand why, it’s only for her greater good. One day she will understand.

    Until then, there’s nothing more to do except work and wait. Unfortunately lol

    Like

    • Astrid says:

      Dear John, have you ever told her how you feel, why you run, anything?
      Do you feel not good enough for her or just dont want you problems to become hers?

      Like

  46. Venus says:

    Hi thank you for sharing. I have met my TF too but he is running.. However the runner particularly interest me bc sometimes i feel that he is very much happy and already moved on. I used to be able to feel him energetically.. His emotional and physical pain. I can also help heal him. After I met him.. I had a kundalini awakening.. I also started seeing angels and E.T. They are helping me with my spiritual awakening. Just thoght Id share too bc nobody else understandand my connection with him.. Its a love that transcends through time and space.

    Like

    • doucejonna says:

      Thank you Venus for taking the time to comment and for sharing your story. I very much appreciated hearing from you. Having been a runner myself I can tell you this much … The runner may well give us the impression of having moved on and living a happy life – and often they do so temporarily- however they will not be able to get away from themselves and from the connection indefinitely. Yes, twin flames can help heal each other – but only through self-work; not by doing the work for the other. Therefore it is important to always direct our focus towards our own wholeness and growth. The energetic connection has not disappeared even though sometimes it feels like we have lost the ability to feel them.. Some respite is often necessary to redirect our focus towards our Self – however you should never worry about losing the connection as it is always there. I know the journey may seem crazy and is only really understood by those who have gone through the same. Having gone through a kundalini awakening myself I can certainly relate to your experience and I hope that you find comfort and resonance in reading my writings.
      Stay blessed dear soul, love, Jonna xx

      Like

  47. Devy says:

    Thank you for the article. This was enlightening, and made me cry and perhaps realize what is happening.
    Twin Flames…I didn’t know about this before. We were a couple back in high school and had to separate ways (he moved). 13 years without speaking. I lost the spark in my eyes when he left. My life became hell, bad choices, bad relationships, pain, suicide attempts, until he came back… I was also in three abusive relationships one after the other, while he was married to a suicide-threatening and abusive wife. We have not gotten back together, we are friends but my feelings for him have never been so strong, so intense… The love for him set me free. It changed me…

    Right now, he is the runner. He keeps telling me he feels nothing, he feels no love at all, but he wishes that he’d allow himself to let love flow through him. That, back then, he fell in love with the spark I had in me, and that had disappeared. Now I feel that spark evergrowing in me, and he’s still not coming back… I’m still wondering if he is truly my Twin, but…the picture of the man I’ve been wanting and searching all my life is him. And he told me I have everything he has been looking for.
    Perhaps, by reading the article, and understanding, that the spark he fell in love with is within him, and it’s not lit up yet… I will wait, and give him all the space and time he needs.

    Thank you dearly.

    Like

  48. Natasha Morrison says:

    Its only been a few weeks since I’ve met my twin flame. This whole concept is strange to me and feels so far out. Since meeting I have felt a pull so strong towards him it felt as if it were out of my control. As crazy it it sound’s I feel like ive always known him. I can tell him anything and even though he is a year younger his emotional maturity is astounding. I feel protected by him, I feel understood. I never have to explain my reasoning to him because he gets it. He truly gets me and he tells me he loves who I really am, not many get to see the real me. He’s amazing, just thinking about him I fill with a sence of belonging, of home, warm, safe and loving, so very loving. How can this be? How can this be so fast. I’ve had love before, but this is a different feeling. This is something I can not explain. He tells me he needs me, I crave him and the passion I feel shocks me. But sadly i am running. Starting from today, I’ve stopped all contact with him. I feel him and I fill with pain. My intuition has led me my whole life and now I feel so confused. Doubts are coming through and the insecurities I feel are shattering. Im so scared of what I feel. Im scared im going crazy. Its only been a month. I want to run towards him not from him but I feel like I cant. No I dont love me. I dont know if I believe in god. I feel like my whole body is in pain. But id rather end it, than bear my soul only to him run from me, because that is what I expect.

    Like

  49. Tahki says:

    Great article thank you, I will go and work on myself… I see I have a lot of work to do too 🙂

    Like

  50. Before I met him I knew his name and I mouthed it daily.
    A few months later, I met him on tinder. He was an exchange student from Norway, and I knew his ex gf and his name before I met him,.

    So even thought he knew he was leaving we still met and fell in love while Kayaking and there was this moment of silence between us that I’m sure he felt it.

    We were very chattery on the phone and talked up to 2 hours at one go. Before he left and after he left, he had even told his Friend he wanted a flat with me, and the told me he wanted 3 kids with me.. Note that he’s young at only 22. I couldn’t understand what was happening, I just ran away so hard I told him to not let me go as I was running away.

    He left for Norway and I knew he had planned for his ex gf from Indiana, and he had told his family how screwed up he was having a gf in Singapore and having his ex visit him in Norway. Soon they had pics of them being happy on Facebook. Needless to say, I hurt so bad for one week or two weeks and was in pain when I saw. He then proceeded to say that lol, ” she’s like my pretend gf on fb but actually you’re my real gf”. During that period it really hurt I couldn’t eat and couldn’t sleep and all I could do was cry. My Friend started noticing and asked if I had fallen out of love… She had heard it from another Friend of mine that I told the situation about. Yesterday I found a video of them from YouTube in 2012/3. Now I know why that bitch wanted to see him. She keeps liking pics of him on Facebook and would never let him go. He had said he didn’t love her. God knows if it’s true or not. I hate that woman and I’ll punch her one day if I ever see him for stealing my twin flame lol.

    Whenever I go out alone I’d see Norway advertisements even in Changi Airport, or go to a sushi bar and see Norway salmon up. I have no idea why I see this maybe I’m too sensitive and choose what I’ve seen. Sometimes I think of him he pops into my head about 40 times a day, lol.

    Note that this time I’ve met men that were terribly nice and bad to me I’ve dated them. I just am dating this new guy named Zach and he’s perfect and I’ve met him for two days but I was wondering why I can’t seem to forget this guy. It’s ridiculous I’ve tried to forget him. Guys that I was seeing to get over him and date were upset why I kept bringing up my ex.. Another guy was like why are even talking about your ex so openly when you’re on a date with me..

    Long ago i had a vision that I was going to meet something important in that particular library and there it was when I met him and kinda Our first dates there. ( it was the national library in Singapore, lol) I’m the runner. And it hurts to think of him, I’ve tried forgetting him by cutting him out and trying to cut the twin flame cord and calling out to god but nothing seems to work.

    Also I don’t trust people and have a fear of abandonment from my past relationships with my parents. They gave me to my grandparents when I was a baby. That’s what I shared with him firstly when i texted him on tinder. I had no idea why I did that

    Do you think he’s my twin flame?

    What should I do to lessen my pain?

    Like

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