Mirror of my soul – Stories of you, me, the world and eternity

When twin flames meet, a powerful creative surge born out of the ignition and blending of their energetic and vibrational bodies completely shatters their illusion of time and space and is felt by BOTH Twins. This expansion is so powerful that it dissolves everything in its way to reveal the very special gift the Twin flame couple share: that of being able to bring forth that which is pure Spirit into the physical field of Creation. As creative expressions of God’s divine design, the Twins have within them the ability to co-create a new paradigm to replace the old. It is the very reason that Twin flames came here; to bring forth the NEW from the higher vibrational realities.

For the female twin, this creative surge is – certainly initially – felt in energetic pulsations originating in the lower pelvic and heart regions. Combined with the flow of kundalini, these sensations create an intense pull in the female reproductive organs, as old sexual cords to previous partners are “burnt” away and hidden DNA structures within our womb and ovaries (ethereal and physical) are activated. Feeling this region “come alive” and connect with our heart centre in such a vibrant and all-encompassing way is an intense experience which eventually pulls us out of the one dimensional way of feeling the connection (physical, sexual) into the multidimensional reality of cosmic Oneness.

One of the things this creative pulse often brings to surface is the need to procreate; after all, where else to pour this immense love than in the creation of a child together? Undeniably, for some of the incarnated counterparts currently being reunited this coming together involves having a child together, however for the majority it does not. Often this is simply not part of the Divine purpose the Twins are brought together. This however represents a problem and a dilemma for those Twins who are still trying to make the connection fit the old relationship template where the heart-pelvic pull alongside its biological effects would push the woman and man into physical union in order to conceive a child, thus continuing the cycle of life and binding the parents together for life. The twin flame couple however hardly needs this to form a lasting bond; they are already part of each other on all possible levels; spiritual, ethereal, emotional and energetic. Neither do they need to procreate in order to continue the cycle of life; the atomic and energetic merging and cosmic dance of their opposing polarities births the NEW continuously in multiple dimensions, thus endlessly perpetuating the cycle of life.

Undeniably though, the ignition of the seed of divine love and creative power definitely pushes the female twin’s cosmic creative and nurturing abilities up a notch or two; often bringing to the surface the yearning to have a child with our twin flame. We are still human after all; with our hormones and biological clocks, and with motherhood built deeply into the layers of our psyche and social status. For many of us, becoming a mother is something we know we want to experience.

While there is nothing wrong with wanting to have a child with our Twin flame, it is rarely something that organically happens in the Twin flame connection. The dynamic of the connection (geared towards self-realisation and return to Source rather than the often karmic task of child-rearing) rarely brings us the Union we dream of within the time-frame of our biological urges and abilities to create a child. Often, the female Twin ends up frustrated, wondering what she should do. On the one hand, she loves her Twin and KNOWS they are meant to be together. She wants the whole shebang with him: babies, marriage, mission, ascension… BUT the Twin is not available and perhaps even denies the existence of the connection. Either way, he is miles from being ready to procreate with her. On the other hand, she may have an existing life partner or perhaps a new man she knows she could have a comfortable life and family with – and more importantly, who wants her, NOW. What is a woman to do?

Oftentimes added to the dilemma is the fact that the woman is being bombarded by signs, dreams and visions of a child that she and her Twin are to have together. These dreams are so real and lucid, and often cross the veil between dream-time and our awakened state; bringing life-like sensations and experiences to us that stay with us for the rest of our life. It is hard to understand how to consolidate these with the reality of the connection (i.e. the silences and absence of our Twin); and with the love felt yet denied.

Bringing children forth onto the earth plane is a personal and individual decision, and not every Twin flame couple has chosen to partake in the hosting of newly incarnating souls together. Nevertheless, if it is in YOUR life purpose to assist with the rearing of a new soul, you WILL be made aware of this. Since the etheric birth cords form months before conception, it is not uncommon for the child to enter into communication with the future parent through dreams and visions. Life always finds a way and any child that is meant to born will be born; either with an existing partner or through a new whirlwind relationship, where the other twin quickly moves on and conceives a child.

Even though in such cases the child may not be biologically created by you and your Twin flame, it is the energy of the Union which has attracted the soul to you; after all, every soul wants to be born into the vibration of unconditional love. In fact, often one or both Twins sense that the conception happened during an astral meld between the Twin flame couple, indicating that our Twin flame is in fact the child’s spiritual parent. Often the male will feel the pregnancy even before the female does, even when the two are in no contact, and he may even feel the fetus’ heartbeat and movements within his own ethereal body.

From this it is clear that all the children born to either of the Twin flame couple are children of the union, regardless of who biologically fathers the child. Having a child with another may be part of agreements we must fulfil before Union; bringing important lessons of love, gratitude and responsibility for the twin flame parent; lessons which often assist the Union rather than going against it. In addition, the twin flame separation (which can last years or even decades) often provides the necessary gap in which to rear a family with a karmic connection – our maternal instincts take over and for a while we are able to put the twin flame union into the back-burner as we concentrate on raising the child(ren).

If you have or are contemplating stepping away from the twin flame connection to have a family with someone else, please do not feel guilty about it. You never know what the future holds but if you and your Twin flame are meant to reunite somewhere down the line it will happen, children or not. Allow the flow of life to take you where it needs to without worrying about the “what if’s”. On the other hand, if you are on the receiving end of the pain that comes with the reality that your Twin flame is having a child with another, please know this: no matter how you feel about it now, no one trapped your Twin into having this child. In fact, this child did not get created without YOUR consent. Drop the drama: if you are truly Twin flames, loving this child as part of the unconditional love you extend to your Twin flame will not be hard for you. In fact, many twin flames feel a deep parental bond with each other’s children, even though they may have never met them. Ultimately it does not matter how the child came into existence: you are always spiritually bonded to each other’s children; the child always a child of your heart.

Years ago I too went through a time of intense yearning for a child with my Twin flame. This craving seemed to be born out of my kundalini awakening and the unconditional love flowing through me; boosted by his first words to me after three years apart about how much he still wanted to marry his “polar opposite” and have children. Considering that he had once upon a time referred to me as such, it was hard for me not to link the two together when we subsequently passionately reunited and I started to have constant dreams, flashes and visions about giving birth. My 30^th birthday was fast approaching and at that point I had been in the same long-term relationship for the past 8 years, knowing I did not want to bring children into it.

Nevertheless, as any woman who has ever felt the biological and hormonal NEED to procreate will tell you, I knew I was to have this child, no matter what. It wasn’t just the sound of my biological clock ticking; I was feeling “spiritually urged” to receive this child and sure enough soon the laughter of my children was resonating through all the dreams where my Twin flame also appeared. Unfortunately even when we seemed to share many of the same dreams, he denied the presence of children in his. It was hard not to get disheartened with his harsh “I never saw you as the mother of my children” when I was only trying to make sense of it all. For me those children were already real.

One particular dream that stuck to my mind was one where I gave birth to a baby boy. I remember lying on a hospital bed, surrounded a lot of people dressed in white, with my twin flame stood on my right side. To this day I remember the feeling of the baby’s floppy, warm body being laid onto my naked chest, the way he moved, the weight of him. I remember the feeling of his wet hair as I ran my fingers through it. Having never even held a new born baby, I was amazed to have the sensory accuracy of this experience confirmed to me a year or so down the line. In the dream, I distinctly remember my twin leaning in and whispering something in Arabic in the baby’s ear. I recognised it as the Islamic call to prayer. Of course I didn’t know it at the time, but according to the Islamic tradition, the first words a new baby should hear are the call to prayer – and it is the father who whispers this into the baby’s right ear. It is certainly no coincidence that my Twin soon thereafter told me that he had started to read the Quran and was finding a lot of comfort in it, and in fact years later he converted to Islam.

For a while I was quietly convinced that I was meant to have children with him; after all, it seemed too random that I would have been woken up spiritually after years of separation, reunited with him and then bombarded by visions of a child together – only to be denied both the reunion and the child. On the contrary, it made perfect sense that we were meant to do this together; we both wanted children and dreamt of a similar life; sharing deep values and love. Yet the reality of the connection was that he was now pulling away again, having told me he had “done his soul searching” and decided to remain in his marriage.

A few months later, still riding the wave of confusion between my Twin’s hints at deep feelings and denials of any possible future with me, I had another series of visions and dreams. In one that particularly stuck in my mind I was back in my native country, browsing around in a shop with my mother and three children, two boys and a girl. The weather outside was wet and cold, which made me think of late autumn weather. Suddenly my phone rang and I was surprised to hear my Twin’s voice on the other end. Clearly he had not called me for a very long time. He basically told me that I was the one he had always loved and how he wasn’t afraid anymore. After all these years, he was finally ready to be with me and to see where the road would take us. I fell down on my knees sobbing out of sheer relief.

The dream stayed with me vividly for many reasons; one of which was that it was clear these children were mine but not his. They were no longer babies either; indicating that the separation had been long. The dream had been just as real as the others, yet I refused to entertain the idea that these precious children were not going to be my Twin’s. I simply could not see how I could ever want another man after the intense purification I had gone through to reach this vibration of unconditional love for him.

Nevertheless, a few months later it became clear that I was paying too high an emotional price for hanging on. After one last conversation which confirmed to me that this was not meant to be, I left everything behind and set off to the travel the world. Unexpectedly I met a man who seemed to know what he wanted and who was serious about building a family together. I remember looking at him and just knowing I was meant to have children with him. This man was a God-sent: unlike my Twin, he was there for me every step of the way as I finally once and for all moved on from the abusive relationship I had been in.

When we married six months later I was already pregnant with our first child, a boy. When my Twin found out about my marriage and pregnancy, he remained silent and did not even congratulate me. It was only once the baby was born and I sent him a picture that he tearfully replied, telling me how emotional he felt seeing me holding the baby with my “tender maternal yet firm” arms. I knew things had unfolded just as they were supposed to, however it took a decade for my children, two boys and a girl, to grow enough for me to remember and recognize them as the children in my dream. They are exactly as I envisioned them all those years ago.

In conclusion, it is true that we as women have been blessed with the ability to act as portals between the Spirit world and the human experience and that many of us will accept the task of bringing new souls into this world, even if this is unlikely to be with our Twin flame. However beyond the decision to have children together or not, Twin flames are always co-creators, always love, always One. They share the gift of authentic heart creation, as well as shared responsibility to nurture and help ripen the seed of divine love, ignited by the male in the woman. She often bears the burden of this seed until it is ready to manifest into the physical world, very much as if she was carrying a child. In the meantime, the twin flames have a duty to use their creative impulses and the gift of authentic heart creation to advance their own spiritual journey, help others and to bring balance to their Union.